Wednesday, March 7

Don't wanna be psychic

Remember in my Flashback Saturday post about how JP and I met, I think I'm psychic? OK, OK, no I don't really think so, but I do think it was a weird coincidence.

I have a bad feeling. Ever get those? Just a gut feeling, something isn't right. No real PROOF exactly, but I just can't shake this feeling that something bad has happened.

I haven't seen JP online for a few days (3 or 4, and that's not normal for him) so that's got me a bit cranky... Then today in class my phone was vibrating, pulled it out, didn't recognize the number... besides, I was in class, not lab time either, she was actually lecturing. So I did not answer it. Thought whoever it is will leave a message. I checked it after lecture, during lab time, no message. I mentioned it to my friend Jacqui, and the teacher heard, she said "Maybe it was JP" Well, no it really probably wasn't, because he NEVER calls. But it started eating away at me...

Then when I got home, I did the usual, grab the mail, check the phone for any messages. No messages, but about 5 minutes before my cell phone rang, the home phone rang. It didn't list the number, just said "Unknown name, unknown number"... now I can't help but think maybe it was JP, using a calling card, therefor I would not recognize the number.

So now I'm really starting to get worried. I know, it was probably just a credit card offer, or something stupid, solicitation or whatever, but WHAT IF IT WAS HIM? What if he was calling from a hospital? What if he's hurt, and that's why he hasn't been online?

Now, the rational part of me is saying I would have heard from the jackasses in the military by now if something had happened, but I just cannot get rid of this eerie feeling that something is just not right. I know that this feeling will stay with me until I can talk to him, too.

As if last night's 'blow a nut' episode weren't enough, now I have this hanging over me, nagging at my every thought.
I am really too stressed out. I just want to talk to him. I want to know that he's alright.

I didn't sleep for shit last night, I literally laid in bed from 10:30 until shortly after 3 when I must have finally dozed off. Then I forgot that I had reset my alarm for 9:30 on Tuesday morning when I laid back down because I didn't have class til 11 that day. So I woke up this morning at 7, and had to run like hell, and make the kids run like hell to make the bus. I couldn't even have given them a ride if they missed it, since I had an 8am class today.

Is it Spring Break yet???

UPDATE: Holy shit, I hate being right. I hate being psychic. He did call. He called again around 7 tonight. They have bombs come into the base on a regular basis, once or twice a week. JP had today off work. His roommate was there, too. Their Internet had been down for a couple of days, JP was bitching about it, and he and Paul decided to go to the base computer lab, so they could get online.

They walked away from their room, and a minute later, it was hit. He lost pretty much everything except the most important thing, his life.

I am trying to see the bright side of things, but a part of me can't help but go back to the "what if"s.
I have to believe this man is the luckiest man ever.

4 comments:

Steff said...

I'm sorry that worry for your husband is weighing heavy on your mind. I can imagine how awful that feeling must be. I hope peace finds your heart and mind soon!

I often get the feeling that I've been here before or I've done this before. It's that creepy dejavu feeling. I used to keep a notebook by my bed and I'd write down dreams that were particularly strong, but then I'd forget and not check back. It's strange the ways our minds work through stuff.

Hang in there!

Anonymous said...

I know you are so scared right now. I'm glad he finally got in touch with you. That has to be relief but still uneasy knowing they are being attacked. Just keep him lifted UP in your thoughts. Hugs & hugs!!

Scott from Oregon said...

fuck and Holy Shit.

So sorry sweetie, for what you go through.

Hugs to you and I am so glad it turned out the way it did.

Jan Ross said...

OH, my God, you gave me such a scare when I started reading this post. Thanks for updating or I would have had to post to beg for an update. So glad he is OK. So lucky that he left when he did. So glad for you!!