Saturday, December 30

His new baby



so this is it... pic was taken last June, when I bought the truck, this isn't even accurate, the running boards had not been put on yet...

It's a 2004 Dodge Ram 1500, quad cab, and yeah, it's got a Hemi!

We are going out to run a few errands in a bit, wonder if he'll want to take the truck, or the minivan?

LOL, I'm so funny!

Friday, December 29

Life is good

We got home, he likes his truck, I think...photos and details to follow...

Kids got to have their Christmas, finally, and the ipods, Legos, Playstations and biggest littlest pet shops were all a big hit.

Now I am sipping a Mike's berry as he is in the shower, and we are headed to bed, yes, it's only a little after 8 pm. Shut up! I'm entitled!!

Yes, Flat, I am using the words 'fuck' and 'bed' in the same sentence, and I mean it the way it's supposed to be meant!!

Hehe,

"AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT"

The long awaited phone call

He called this morning, shortly before 9 am, he's in Atlanta. His flight into Fargo arrives at 5pm.
TODAY!! Today is the day I get my husband and my life back, for just a couple of weeks, but I'll take it!!

So the rest of my day is the last minute stuff, quick house cleaning, getting the big yellow bow ready to go on the truck. Yeah, since he's in the air, and can't get online, I can tell y'all, I bought him a truck, for Christmas, Father's Day, his birthday, our anniversary, WHATEVER! He doesn't know, it's a surprise... he's gonna wig out, I cannot wait to see that. JP is a quiet shy man, doesn't show emotion too much, at least not in public (I see a little when it's just he and I alone) so the thought of him freaking out happy over this truck just makes me giddy!! I have to teach my mom how to run the camcorder so she can get THAT LOOK on his face when the garage door goes up and he sees THE TRUCK. He wanted this truck over a year ago, when we bought the KIA van. He drooled over it on the dealer's lot, and I dragged him away, saying "with three kids and two big dogs, we need a van, not this toy"

I can't think of anyone who deserves this truck more than him. He is the best man I have ever met. My children are really lucky to have such a man as their father, and I cannot even begin to explain how fortunate I feel that he is my husband.

AND HE IS COMING HOME TODAY!!

Lots to do, so I better get off my butt and get to it. I still haven't figured out what to wear to the airport either.

Oh, and go figure, NOW it's snowing. Haven't had snow hardly AT ALL, and now that I want his flight to come in on time, it has to snow. Oh, well, at least we will have a white Christmas after all!!

Thursday, December 28

Not fair & not good at waiting

Not Fair: no calls yet. I'm sure he's good though, cuz he knows where I am, and he knows where HE is, so I'm sure he's content, since he's not there anymore. I however, do not know where he is, therefor, I am getting pissy. What a spoiled monster I am, huh? I feel like Varuca Salt, "I want him here, and I want him here NOW!" Man, what a brat.

Not good at waiting: Yeah, I really suck at it. Waiting makes me cranky. I feel bad for the kids. I'm getting very short with them, and I have a constant headache, and I'm just downright bitchy. I need to get laid, that's what it boils down to... AND I WISH I COULD, BUT I DON'T KNOW WHERE HE IS!!


Wow, yeah, I can't even crack open a Mike's to chill out, because I don't want to be drunk, or even tipsy when he calls, since I will have to drive the hour to Fargo to pick him up WHENEVER I HEAR FROM HIM!!

Ugh, I cannot think of another thing to do to pass the time, I have watched movies with the kids, hell, we even watched the entire Lord Of The Rings Trilogy yesterday. I am movied-out. I have tried vegging on Pogo.com, but even that gets old after awhile. My house is as clean as it's gonna get. I can't even crawl into bed and nap, because I washed the bedding this morning, and my bed is pristine and beautiful and full of April Freshness, and I don't want to fuck it up by climbing into it. If he doesn't come home today, I may sleep on the couch just to preserve the loveliness of it. Not that I've slept much the last two nights anyway... I'd hate to be sleeping when my cell phone rings... although I have NEVER slept through a ringing phone. My cell phone plays "shook me all night long" by AC/DC, and since that is probably my favorite song on Earth, I hear it... always. I am physically incapable of sleeping through a noise that starts where silence once was.

See, now this whole post is just silly. I am just typing words and shit that come into my head as a way to pass the time. I'm actually running out of things to THINK to type.

GAWD, I WISH HE WOULD JUST CALL!!!

Wednesday, December 27

My Horoscope today

Virgo
August 23 - September 21 Today you might find a long-term dream finally coming true, dear Virgo. A trip that you may have dreamed of for a long time may finally show promise of actually happening. A practical and methodical approach to making the arrangements should make it seem that much more real to you. Do take care, however, to plan each step carefully so that you don't end up working harder than you need to.


I thought this was a fitting thing to wake up to read this morning. Mom said it just a minute ago ~ This must be the worst part. Not knowing where he is, or when I will hear from him again. I only know that he is on his way. And for now, that is enough.


Tuesday, December 26

The waiting begins

Right about now, 9 hours ahead of us, and thousands of miles away, my husband is waking up on this day, the day he starts coming home. For him, it is tomorrow morning, and he is waking up knowing that the next bed he sleeps in will be his own, and he will share it with his wife.

I will go to bed tonight knowing that the time separating us can now be counted in hours, not days, not weeks. HOURS.

I don't know what to do with myself, I don't know how to make time go by faster. I could sleep, yeah, I could sleep away the time remaining, but there is so much to do. All that time I spent procrastinating has now come to an end. It is time to get it done. And yet I find these things I have to do seem trivial and silly. How can I be expected to do my laundry and clean my room when the love of my life is returning to me in mere hours? I know, I know, it seems odd. I should be freaking out over what needs to be done, but I am not. I am just sitting here watching time tick by slowly.

It is a long awaited visit here, one that will go by too quickly, of that I am certain. But I am determined not to think about the end of it until it is upon us. I do not want to spend time crying over saying goodbye while he is here. That time should be spent enjoying his presence, not fretting over his absence. I know me, though, and I will think of it. I will not be able to NOT think of it. But I have to remember to live in the now, or look far forward to the day when he comes home again, for good then. We have made it this far, and looking back, knowing that we survived that incredibly long period of time will help us to make it through the final 3 months. Seeing him again, having him home for this visit will renew our love and our resolve to make it, to see it through to the end.

I will see you soon honey, in person, in the flesh. I cannot wait to feel your arms around me again, it has been too long since I felt that, the best feeling I have ever known.

Sunday, December 24

I want my Daddy

Steven and I talked while he was up here,
"Have you talked to Dad lately?"
"No, have you?"
"No"
"I want to, but I'm always putting it off to avoid having to talk to HER"
"Yeah, me too"

'HER' is my father's bitch, er, WIFE. I love my father very much, and I hate that she has become this wicked stepmother between he and I. Thing is, it has gotten progressively worse. When they first got married, one year before JP and I got married, she was decent to us almost all of the time. Now when we see her, or call to speak to our father, she is cold, and almost snotty. I can understand, she is being cold with us because we don't call often to talk to Dad... but we don't call often to talk to Dad because she is such a heinous bitch. I almost want to get my Dad his own cell phone, so I know that when I call, HE will answer, and I won't even have to worry about speaking to her.

I don't think they're happy. I've been to their home a few times (How fucking sad is that, first off, I am his daughter and I can count on ONE HAND the number of times I have been invited to her home...yeah, it's her family's farm, so it IS "her" home.) I think they are sleeping in separate bedrooms. I would suspect that my father would love to be rid of her, but doesn't see that as a viable option. He is living on her family's land, so if he divorced her, he would have nowhere to go. He has been divorced once, from my mother, and being raised in a more traditional catholic family, I'm shocked he did it once. Actually, he wouldn't have, he would have stayed married to my mother forever, SHE divorced him... with good reasons, but that's neither here nor there, the point here is that my father is being held prisoner by the original evil stepmother... stepmonster.

I don't even know if I can ask him about this. My father is not a big 'talk about our emotions' kind of guy, I don't know how to say what I want to say to him without hurting him. What do I want to say? How about "Dad, I love you, and I want to spend time with you, but I cannot waste any more energy or effort trying to appease that woman. It's a matter of I do not care what she thinks or feels, she is not a nice person, she is a fake person, and I know she does not like the fact that you have children and grandchildren. I feel like she is holding you prisoner and I hate having to speak to the warden every time I call there. It is not you, Dad, I don't want you to ever think that I don't call often because I don't love you, I do, I love you so much Dad, but I just cannot continue the way things are. I don't know what to do about it either, so there, I'm laying it out there for you, I don't know if you can do anything, or if you even want to, but I love you and I want my kids and my family to see you more often. But not her. She has a toxic affect on me, and my kids, and I will not do that to them anymore."

I want my Dad to be happy. I want to be in my Dad's life. I don't think either of those is going to happen as long as she is around.

It's a sad Christmas Eve here, not just because my kids miss their Daddy, but because I miss mine, too.

Friday, December 22

Happy Birthday to 'the big E"

With all my whining about being old, I forgot a couple of things.

Mr. Eric's birthday... shame on me for forgetting. Of course, I remembered it FOR HIM, and got the presents and cake crap done, I just didn't mention it on the blog except in passing that I went out and picked up his cake. He was very pleased with his present, a Lego Star Wars flying ship thing. B Wing Fighter, I think. I don't know, I saw the words "lego" and "star wars" and threw it in the cart. He liked it most because it was a challenge to put together, took him a good hour and a half. Now he's got it parked in his room on his Lego table.

Also, as I was just now sitting here getting ready to go to bed, I got an email from Half.com. "You've made a sale"... my Business Law book, that I just listed 7 hours ago!! Yeah baby, that's $49 thank you very much. And I'm sure Ms. Kristin G. in N.C. appreciates it too, because she is paying about 1/3 of what her school bookstore would charge her for that book. I remember, because I looked it up in my bookstore after I paid $65 for it... so yeah, I'm not making my money back, but I didn't pay as much for it to start with AND I'm getting more for it on Half.com than I would trying to sell it back to the bookstore.

So now I'm tired, and I should go to bed... busy day tomorrow, too. Hockey, gay men visiting, fat guy dropping off the rest of my kids' present from Santa.... my friend Jason is coming over in the morning with the playstation games THAT I PAID FOR TWO WEEKS AGO... he keeps 'forgetting'... I'm gonna forget my foot right up his ass if he doesn't show up tomorrow morning...

feeling violent this evening, sorry 'bout that.

Good night.

I found out that I'm old today

I was having a good day, working my little worker-bee butt off on my uber huuuuge list of things to accomplish today. I got the Christmas tree up, decorated, did 7 loads of laundry, cleaned the garage, cleaned the sun porch, wrapped not only my remaining gifts, but all of those purchased by my mother as well, I went to the post office to mail crap, I went to the bakery to pick up Eric's birthday cake, I went through all of my textbooks and cleaned them up (massive pile of eraser debris, thank god I used pencil the whole time) and then got them listed on Half.com, try to make some of my money back on them, I even ran lunch out to mom and took a few minutes to eat with her while she had half a second at work. I was feeling good, very accomplished, and non-procrastinator-ish. I also went online to my college's website and was able to see most of my grades have been posted.

Out of 7 classes, 5 instructors have posted grades so far. All 5 of those are A's for me!! The two that are missing are my Intro to Computers, and I'm a little concerned that may have fallen to a B, and my Business Law class, and I'm darn near certain that it will be an A.

So I was feeling pretty good today... until I got the mail. No bills, good start to it all, but it sort of went in the shitter as soon as I opened the Christmas card from L. She and I were best friends from the age of 5. She was in my wedding, I was in hers, she is the godmother to my first born son. She lives about 4 hours away though, and I have not seen her in probably 7 or 8 years. We email often, and have a 2 hour telephone conversation a couple of times a year. She always sends those cute photo cards at Christmas time, and they're always pictures of her kids.

L. is one of those really pretty girls, you know, back in high school, every boy wanted to date her, she was the Homecoming Queen, the head of the cheerleaders and she dated the captain of the football team. Dream life. If she were not such a wonderful, sweet girl, I could easily have hated her. But besides being gorgeous and smart, she is so nice, just genuinely a good person. But pretty, that's the main key here...So imagine my surprise when the prettiest girl from school has one of the homeliest kids I have ever seen! Just her son is... not cute. Her little girl is a-freakin-dorable though.
I digress.
I got this card, and WOW, how nice, it's a family picture, but who the heck is that old lady? OH MY GOD, IT'S L.!! I studied this photo for a long time. She has frown lines, and laugh lines, and crow's feet, and wrinkles under her eyes... and one of those bad ''duck butt'' hair cuts. You know, where from the back, her head looks like a duck's ass? But the front is smoothed down on the sides? Just so wrong on so many levels.

But I kinda freaked out, holy shit, do I look that old too? I am 7 or 8 months older than she is, crap, do I look that bad? I actually went into the bathroom to study my face, trying to have an unbiased opinion... but it's my face, I'm used to it, so it was hard for me to judge. I'm considering posting a pic of me on here and asking Scott and Flat coke to 'guess my age'. I know I can't ask JP, cuz he just wants to get in my pants, he's just hoping for nudie pics... sweet man... i wuv him.

I asked my sons when they got home. Eric said "Mom, you're not old, why would you look old? You're not old"
Alex said"You look like you have always looked, as long as I can remember, that's what you look like. Haven't you looked like that for forever?"
Such nice boys, obviously close to Christmas time, they don't want to piss off the woman with the direct link to the magical fat man.

I don't know, maybe I just suddenly had that "holy crap, I'm not in Kansas anymore" feeling. I'm an adult, whether I like it or not, and eventually I will have to grow up (and old)... dammit.

Wednesday, December 20

Before I head out for another busy day


I do the powerpoint test thing this morning, then I have to work on my page long list, which, I might add is going very nicely. It was a list of things to do THIS WEEK, and it was a tablet page long. As of last night, I was half done with it. So yeah, I'm feeling pretty good about it. I may have to make another list soon, just to keep busy and avoid sitting here and thinking OMG, HE'S COMING HOME SOON!!


I need to keep busy... But before I get up and go this morning, I had one more fun picture to post. This one makes me giggle wickedly... don't know why. Maybe because I myself do not own a boat, and will not be owning a boat in the foreseeable future. haha you rich bastard.... sorry, makes me giggle.
OK, time to get moving... merry christmas to all ('cept this guy) and to all a good night.
ADDED LATER: Well, the powerpoint went ok, done anyway.
Then I borrowed Mom's truck and loaded up the "dump" stuff and went out to Dave's. He said I could bring anything out there that would burn. We chatted for a good hour, could have stood there and talked to him all afternoon, but I had more to do! I was able to cross two more things off my list, and now I'm down to just a few left. The big one, putting up the tree is still there. Maybe tonight, with the kids' help I can get that one done. The other bugger one is cleaning out the refrigerator. Some funky smells coming outta there lately... I dunno what I might find, scares me a little actually. I know for sure that I do not want to be alone when I open that particular can of worms (or whatever it may be, or may have been!)
That's it for now....

Tuesday, December 19

Mission Accomplished

I went in to school this morning, spent (read: wasted) an hour of my life on an open book test for Business Math. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate an open book test as much as the next goof who didn't bother to study the material...BUT, in reality, why bother having a test if it's open book? Why not just give us each a damn A, call it a day and let me go back to bed, you silly old bitch. There's an hour of my life that I will never get back, that's what I'm saying. I have a ton of better things to do than flip pages in a book looking up the formula for figuring the straight line method of depreciation vs using the MACRS tables supplied by the IRS, thank you very much. I could have been cleaning out the garage, I could have been putting up the Christmas tree, I could have spent that hour cleaning my dogs' ears and it STILL would have been more productive and useful to my life than taking a damn open book test.

But I did it, because I paid for the damn class, and I want my friggin' A.

Afterwards, I came home and showered (yeah, that's right, I did not shower before going to class, figured what the hell, I may smell bad, but ... hell, I got nothin, yeah, maybe I smelled a little ripe this morning, but I don't give a rat's ass what my fellow students thought. I was working on a big fat A on a "thanks for letting us cheat" open book test, what the hell do I care what I smell like?)
Wow, I digress.
I showered, and got presentable and went on a little shopping trip. Finished up everything. Thank goodness for Target and Fargo, ND, because our little podunk town has shit for Lego, and that is all Mr. Eric has on his Christmas wish list... not to mention his 9th birthday which is Friday.

Emma has been nagging me, every time a commercial comes on for that damn "Biggest Little Pet Shop" she comes to find me, wants to drag me off to see it, so that I know exactly what she's talking about when she talks about wanting that damn thing. She talks about it CONSTANTLY. I bought it last week, by the way. I'm getting to the point where I just wanna say "Yeah, Em, I got it, not just the commercial, not just the information, I got the friggin' thing, it's under my bed right now so shut up about it or it's going back to the store!"

When I got back from Blessed Fargo, I had to wrap everything I had gotten, and get it hidden away before the monsters were released from school. I pulled the tree and the decorations out of the hidden closet in the living room, and then shoved all the gifts into that space. I shut the closet door, and put a chair up against the wall and piled stuff in the chair. There is no way those monsters are getting another look, poke or prod at ANY gifts. On Christmas Eve, I will sneak in there and take out the gifts they will be allowed to open on Christmas morning... yeah, the clothes. I AM the meanest mommy EVER... they'll get their stockings, too. But everything else will wait until Dad is home to share Christmas with us. They're all in agreement, that is the best way to go. Of course, they think they get to open "one gift each" on Christmas morning, but they don't know that I get to pick it, and they don't know that I'm picking the clothing gifts for them. I think my nomination for "Mother of the Year" may be in jeopardy.

I am very tired tonight, so I think this is it, I think I may be done. Tomorrow is a 10 am test on Powerpoint, then I am officially done. I know, I know, I said that last week, but I really thought I was done then. Sneaky bastards decided to make us come in during finals week even though these are not final tests. Just to drag it out a little longer. That's okay though, because after tomorrow, that's it, that's all, nothing again until January 10th. Peace, quiet, no homework, the kids home from school ( crap) and my husband home from hell. This is what I'm working for, this is the time of my life.

Monday, December 18

Who is Santa Claus?

I asked this question of my 13 year old son tonight. Why? Because I was testing him. I told him last year, and the year before, that the answer is always "a magical fat man who brings gifts to all good children".

When he is too old to believe in Santa, he stops receiving gifts from Santa, you see.

He was getting curious, asking a lot of questions about what gifts were here, what had been ordered, etc, and I decided to shut him up. I asked him the question, assuming that he would say "well, duh, you are" like he had in years past, and I have then corrected him and shown him the "true answer" is the path to fabulous gifts. I did not expect him to remember it. I was wrong.
I was expecting him to name me and JP as "Santa" and then tell him "Ha, wrong bucko, now you get nothing" I wanted the questioning to stop. But he answered as if he were my little puppet: "Santa is a jolly fat man who brings presents to all good children".

shit.

well, I guess I should be happy that he remembered. The main reason for this, year or two ago, was so that he would not ruin it for his younger brother and sister. I don't know, the fat man may be out of the bag by now, I haven't really gotten any real questions from the younger ones yet.

Either way, I am going to double wrap some gifts, and put some that are already wrapped inside bigger boxes just to throw them off a bit. Damn kids are getting too smart to mess with at Christmas time anymore... now what fun is that? tell me?

Sunday, December 17

Clockwork, I tell ya!

It's a beautiful thing.
Without being graphic, let's just say I got a visitor today that I have been eagerly anticipating, even had it circled on the calendar with a big red circle. The best news is that the visitor will be gone the entire time my husband is home. Good riddance!

I spent my day cleaning the family room. I took care of the area where the tree is going to go, got the laundry room looking INCREDIBLY CLEAN, even though nobody will see it, I will be able to sleep at night KNOWING it's clean. I got the grocery shopping done, too.

So it was technically a pretty dull day, but I got quite a few things crossed off my list, so that's good news.

Tonight is the SURVIVOR finale, so that shoots the rest of my night, but it's all for a good cause (GO OZZY!!)

I'm going in to school early tomorrow, I only have to be there at noon for the Senate meeting, but being the naughty bad secretary that I am, I have not yet finished typing up the minutes from the last meeting, or done the agenda for tomorrow's meeting. I am guessing that most senators will not show up anyway, being finals week, so we won't meet quorum, and won't be able to even have a meeting, but I will at least do my part, like a good secretary (who wants her damn stipend!!)

It's still not white here, we are down to one week before Christmas, and I'm starting to worry that we here in NORTHERN MINNESOTA will not have a white Christmas. Hell, we ALWAYS have a white Christmas. Most years we have a white Halloween, and a white Valentine's Day AND a white Easter! I'm finally getting into the Christmas spirit and there's no damn snow. It's starting to get depressing. But I suppose the longer it holds out and stays unseasonably warm, the easier it will be for JP to come for a visit from the land of sand and hellfire. I'd hate for him to get off the plane and go directly into hypothermic shock...

Saturday, December 16

Emma, the hockey STAR!!

I am so proud of my little girl.
They had a game today against Fergus Falls (our girls call them fungus falls).
It was not a total ass whooping, yes, our girls lost, 8-1

BUT


That one goal? (no, em did not score it)


BUT


She assisted. For anyone not in the hockey-know, that means she passed it to the girl who did score. And it means she gets credit for the assist, like, without her, the goal would not have happened!! I was almost in tears, I was so happy. JP I can't wait for you to see how much she has improved. Oh, and Tom S. was one of the referees for their game, I even caught him whispering to Em to move up in front of the net at one point... but no, I don't think the refs were
biased!! LOL
I got a bunch of Christmas wrapping done today, all of Emma's is done, I went out and bought the big thing for Eric, a Lego Millennium Falcon set. It's still in the back end of the van, will have to wait until the kids go to bed tonight to bring it in. I have Alex's smaller gift, still want to get him a clothing type gift, same for Eric. Then the things that JP ordered for Alex and Emma will have to be wrapped assuming they arrive in time. I still am not sure how we are going to do this. I think Christmas morning for the kids will be the clothing gifts and their stockings. Everything else will wait for JP to come home to see.
I also got Steven and Mark taken care of. They are coming up next Saturday and spending the night, leaving sometime on Sunday (Christmas Eve). I was not able to give Steven any ideas for the kids, so he said that he was just going to give them gift cards. He acted all pissy about it. Um, actually, they LOVE gift cards. It's like a shopping spree for them, it's actually MORE fun that way.
I have damn near no money left, and I still have to buy groceries, but hey, that's what credit is for, right? Between the different forms of money coming in shortly after Christmas and shortly after the New Year, I think I should be able to bump us nicely back into the black, we'll be fine.
Tomorrow I am going to try to rearrange furniture to figure out where to put the tree downstairs. I think I want it down there this year. Now that we don't need a tank there in the corner for Shaggy, I think that's where I will put it. After Christmas, when the tree is gone, that's where the kids can have their big Santa gift in it's permanent location. Yeah, that sounds like a plan, now all I have to do if figure out what to do with that big 55 gallon tank. Lug it out to the garage, I suppose. My luck I'll fall on the ice, on my ass, shatter glass and ass all in one slick move.
Will keep you posted dear, I know you're concerned about my ass. hehe

Friday, December 15

Last day of my first semester of college

How appropriate, I spent my final day of real classes being bored to the point of almost smashing my head down onto my laptop because I FELL ASLEEP in Business Law this morning. I literally caught my head by waking up just before my chin hit the keyboard.

I have to go in on Monday, at noon for a Senate meeting. 20 minutes, tops!
I have to go in on Tuesday, at 8 am for a Business Math test, not a final, just the last chapter test. Half hour, tops.
I have to go in on Wednesday, at 10 for a Comp Tech test, not a final, just the PowerPoint test. Maybe 45 minutes, if I am a complete moron...
I have to go to the vet with the girls on Thursday at 9 am.
Friday is Mr. Eric's 9th birthday.

I have decided that this next week, I will do some rearranging and put up the friggin' tree. Ugh. At least we got a new one, PRE-LIT!! No dicking around with trying to string lights that don't work anyway! I also want to wrap the gifts that I have already purchased.

I got some very cool stuff tonight in an email. News. I doubt if this is an OPSEC issue, I think I can safely say that I got a newsletter from the people who are keeping my husband from me. They are talking about dates, as in DATES, calendar dates. The main one being FEBRUARY 14. Not just for lovers who make me want to vomit out of jealousy. February 14th is the last date they recommend that we send things to our loved ones. Why? Because they cannot guarantee that the guys will be there to receive anything mailed after that. This makes me happy.

The other thing I got out of this emailed newsletter is a photo. If I can figure out how to copy and paste it, I will. I actually got tears in my eyes when I saw it. It is a picture of my husband's DOOR!! It's got his last name, and his roommate's last name on it, and it's got a sign duct taped to it that I mailed to him. What does the sign say? "NO SNOWMOBILING" Now, for those of you not in wintery areas, these are black signs with orange lettering, similar to signs advertising things for sale, kind of a plastic untearable sign, you can buy in just about any hardware store. People post them on their property to keep those noisy fuckers away. I am seriously considering asking JP to send it back to me, so I can post it on the new barb wire fence I want to install. I sent this to my husband because I am a sarcastic bitch who loves irony. No snowmobiling... yeah, no shit? They have sand... as far as they eye can see, no snow, just more fucking sand.
Just seeing something of his, even though it's not even a picture of him, makes me happy and sad all at once.
He could very easily be in my arms IN TWO WEEKS!!

TWO WEEKS PEOPLE!!!

*sigh*
soon baby, soon

Wednesday, December 13

"So you think you can dance?"

Tonight I was asked to come to the family room, for a "performance". I sat down, as a good mother should, when begged by a child for a simple thing that requires nothing but my time. I can give that, no problem. But OH. MY. GOD. How not good it was. She turned on the CD player, cranked the volume to an icky song that I did not recognize and proceeded to "dance" ( and I use the term loosely) a little routine she had worked out. Thoughts of Elaine from Seinfeld came to mind, as did the scene from Napoleon Dynamite. Both of them are better dancers than my daughter.

I cannot even begin to describe what I saw. There are no words to actually explain it, it was bad, just so very off tempo and weird looking. I tried my best to have my 'smiling loving mommy' face on, but I could feel my eyebrows coming closer and closer together, wanting to frown. I pushed them high on my forehead with a great deal of effort, pasted a smile on my face, and prayed for the CD to skip, or break, or start smoking or ANYTHING to make it stop.

When she got done, I clapped, as a good mommy should, and then she asked me "So, what do you think? I have been practicing for a long time, I want to enter the talent show at school, can I?"


um.... I... um... well... gee..... (HELP!!) I asked her when the talent show is, how much time does she have? Not til spring, thank god, so I am hoping she will forget by then. For her own sake.

Poor child, she has inherited the dance gene from her father...

Thanks to Scott from Oregon (AELEOPE) for the idea/website for making my own Church sign... I think I will have to go back occasionally and make some more!

Sleeping beauty and another disturbing photo


'Nuff said, I slept great last night, it was wonderful. Now I have to go out and buy Excedrin PM in bulk quantities!!

Now I'm sitting in a class, one that I am exempt from the final for. She is having the jerks and slackasses (basically all the GUYS) in the class use this time to prepare for the final, so I am glad I have my laptop, I have played solitaire, checked my blogs that I read daily and balanced the checkbook.

I will probably have more to chat about later tonight, but for now, I think maybe I will work on some homework, or do a little extra studying on Power Point for my next class.
The answer to the bonus question I gave JP yesterday is that 14 years ago yesterday (12-12-92) he and I got engaged. Notice I did not say "He asked me to marry him"... because he did not. I will always remember his words on that day:" IF I ask you, will you say yes?"
Yes, JP, I will always say yes.


Tuesday, December 12

SNOW DAY!

OK, so not "snow" per say, but the kids did get out of going to school today. Call it a "freezing rain" day, and it just doesn't have the same lovely ring to it!

Because the roads were awful, I, too skipped out on a class. Just my morning one though. I had a Senate meeting at noon, and Accounting class at 1, so I did go to those.

I got the official word from JP this morning: HE LEAVES HELL ON THE 27TH OF DECEMBER!! Can ya tell I'm just a little excited!? This means that MOST LIKELY he will be home for New Year's Eve. Less than 20 days and that luscious, dreamy hunk of a man will be back in my arms where he belongs!

And by the time he heads back to Hell, the countdown will be around 2 months til HOME FOR GOOD!!

I am finishing up final prep on certain gifts, and of course, there will be pictures posted shortly after they're taken, cannot wait for that moment!!

I talked to my father-in-law tonight, things are getting set for the 6th, sounds like both sisters, brother and a few nephews and nieces will be arriving that Saturday morning, staying the night at hotels in town, and having a good get-together/welcome home party. I am really looking forward to that. I think it will be good for the family to get together like this.

I got a post card in the mail from the girls' vet, it's time for their annual rabies shots, and I am going to try to make the appointments for next week when I'm mostly off. I really want to get Comet in on that scale. I'm guessing she's in the upper 70#s. My sweet little moose baby, she is!

I'm still not sleeping well, really starting to piss me off. Mom gave me some Excedrin PM a bit ago, we shall see how that works. It's not so much that I'm not sleeping well, I CAN sleep all night, once I actually get to sleep. That's where the problem lies. I cannot seem to shut off my thinking and planning and wondering and considering and questioning and pondering and other various forms of verbal diarrhea that aren't really verbal, they're all mental, and they will not shut up and LET ME SLEEP!

So here it is, 9pm, and I've got about 20 minutes in since I swallowed those PM's... hoping they'll kick in soon. Plus, I got good news today about JP, so I'm hoping that alone will help me rest easier tonight. I have to get more than 4 or 5 hours of sleep a night, I just cannot function like this much longer. See? Now I am putting pressure on myself to fall asleep, shit, that's not gonna work!

Ugh, OK, few more things to goof with online, then I'm going to let the pretty blue pills carry me off (I hope!).

Goodnight honey, I love you so much.
(Hey, here's a bonus question for you JP... What happened on this date in history? Our history, that is) get the correct answer and get a special present when you get home!!

Monday, December 11

"Be the ball"

This is what Amanda told me tonight. I was pretty much sucking ass, first game I only bowled a 98.

so as I step up for my first frame of game #2, she bellows out "BE THE BALL, NIK, BE THE BALL" and then she, Charity, Jacqui and Missy all start that NUH NUH NUH NUH" thing that Chevy Chase does in Caddyshack... I started giggling hysterically, and...

THREW A STRIKE!!

My next two games were a large improvement, I got a 114 and a 124. That gave me a nightly average of 112, MUCH better than my cumulative average of 103. The way I see it, as long as I stay right in the general area of my average, yeah, I'm good, I'll take that.

So seeing my brother this weekend did give me one good thing: another recommendation. He is the one who recommended we stay in Playa Del Carmen, he even recommended a great hotel. JP and I had 7 days of incredible fun and sun and...sex (no TV in the room, wooohhooooo!)

So JP and I had talked about taking another vacation roughly Feb/Mar of '08. Another 7 days of bliss, no kids, sand and sun and, of course, sex. I asked Steven to recommend a good place, not all touristy, not extremely expensive, but this time we did want to do all-inclusive. He right away blurts out "Coral Resort, Santo Domingo". Now, being the Midwestern sheltered-life wench that I am, I paused, wondering if I should ask or just pretend I knew. I decided to ask: "Where is that?" He rolled his eyes and said "Dominican Republic, duh" Thanks Steven, I needed that, you egotistical fucknut. ANYWAY... (sorry, got off on a 'hate him' tangent there) So he says that it's an all inclusive resort, really nice, right on the beach, and it runs around $100 per night. HOLY CRAP! Are ya kiddin' me? That would be fabulous! So I emailed JP about it, and I will do some searching online myself, see what I can find.

I'm about to go bonkers with all the stuff I have to do... silly little things, like homework, and mailing stuff out, and cleaning my house, and taking care of surprises and such. I have Christmas presents under my bed which I know are not safe until they are wrapped twice in paper and hidden again. I wish it was next week already.

JP says it's almost a sure thing that he's leaving hell on the 27th. That would be so wonderful. That way he MAY make it home for New Year's Eve so I don't have to hop a flight down to Nashville and intrude on Flat & Bat's plans!LOL

OK, time to hit it, I have an 8a.m. class with a psycho math teacher... {want her to retire} who goes through a chapter a week, one hour of learning stuff, then 2 days later...A TEST... psychotic wench!

Yup, that's it, stick a fork in me, I'm done!

Sunday, December 10

Almost forgot another fun picure



OK, this isn't so much a "fun" picture as it is a "disturbing" picture, but still in the realm of graphic artists and computer photo shop- type geeks, it's pretty impressive. And creepy, yeah, I'll give ya that, it is creepy.

So much for trying to go to bed early tonight, I am still brain-numb, but now I am brain-numb with the kids' Santa present hidden nicely under my bed. Jason stopped over tonight and brought it in for me. So cool, they're really going to flip. Of course, we are going to have to get a 3rd controller... can 3 people play games on those things? Or is 2 the limit? I'm talking about a PS2, so if anyone knows the answer to this, please let me know... With 3 kids, I know I can always count on fights, but if I can pick up one more controller and avoid another tiff, I will definitely look into it!!

Gay Men, Long Drives & snotty no-class hockey bitches

The title pretty much sums up the weekend.

The concert was great, even the Latin shit that I did not understand. The kids were INCREDIBLY good. Even Steven said so... so that's saying alot. Mom finally told Steven about selling her house, and they took care of financial dealings, and she told him about Dave and his offer. He seems okay with it, but we will see. I'm betting he was too busy being self important on Saturday to realize that he may have an opinion about someone else's life... how silly of him to forget, after all, he has an opinion on everything. I am pretty sure I will be getting a phone call from him later this week asking for details, hearing his opinion and basically letting him have his say. I don't really care what his "say" is, but I love him, so I will let him babble and pretend I care, pretend it matters.

The drive home today was... L--------O---------N---------G I think maybe it just felt like it took forever because I just wanted to be home NOW. The kids were pretty good on the ride home, I think they felt the same way: Let's just get there.

After we got home and unpacked the van, I had to run Emma to the arena for her hockey game. She has to be there an hour before the game. So during that hour I ran out and picked up my girls, wow, they were happy to see us!! Then I ran Mom out to Dave's so she could get her girls and her truck. Turns out that Zoey was not a lady out there for Dave. Sounds like she was a manipulative little stinker. But Dave fell for the "seizure" trembling and crumbled like a cookie. She may not have thumbs, but Zoey must have a pinkie, because THAT is where Dave is, wrapped firmly around Zoey's little finger.

After all the dog fetching, I had a few minutes, so I did a mail check, got things ready for class tomorrow, and got to talk to JP for about 3 minutes online. Thanks to a really shitty connection, it was barely a decent conversation, but at least I got a few words from him.

The girls played Moorhead today. Emma plays on a girls team, called a U-10 team. That means that all the players are either 10 yrs old or under. This Moorhead team (and Park Rapids last weekend, too) had very few U-10 players. The majority of them were U-12's. Our girls have quite a few rookies, girls skating their first year, going up against these 11 and 12 year old girls who have been skating damn near half their lives. Of course it was a complete annihilation, big time little-girl-ass-whooping. The only "good" news is that our sweet little Emma had to go and get caught checking one of these neanderthal bitches, and got to sit in the penalty box for her trouble. She was actually okay with it, she said "She checked me first, the Ref just didn't catch HER!"
Again this year, Moorhead showed a total lack of class or sportsmanship. No pulling their goalie, no minimum number of passes, nothing, just ass-kicking after ass-kicking. These little girls of ours, holy shit, they must have pretty tough skin, because I know if I had to deal with that every weekend, I'd get tired of it REAL QUICK. I know I would have quit by now... that Emma, she is getting really good, honey, you will have to go skating with her while you're home on leave. Her skating has gotten INCREDIBLY better, and her puck handling is really coming along too. I'm so proud of her, she is really doing well.

Well, that's all I've got for now, maybe I will remember what else I wanted to mention later. I'm so numb -brained right now, I just don't know. I have not slept well in a good week, and last night we were up til shortly after 1am, and got up just after 7, on the road before 8. Too much "go" and not enough "stop"... that's what I'm dealing with now. But I can see the stop sign up ahead, next Friday at 3pm. Last class of the first semester of college ends at 3pm on Friday. No finals, no classes the following week, also, no kids, because they DO have classes. So it's all me, all cleaning, all week.

Well, that's the plan anyway!

Friday, December 8

Getting ready

Tomorrow morning the kids and I, and mom are going down to Minneapolis. We do not want to go. We have agreed to go, we made the commitment, but WE. DO. NOT. WANT. TO. GO.

We are going down to see the Minneapolis Gay Men's Chorus' Christmas program, "Don We Now Our Gay Apparel". Have I ever mentioned how much I. HATE. CHRISTMAS. MUSIC?

We are making a very short visit to the 'after party' at Steven and Mark's home. We will go in, congratulate Mark, give him the obligatory roses, hugs and kisses then hit the road. This little party is not for people like us anyway... you know, NORMAL PEOPLE. Steven decided that with everyone coming in from Atlanta and Phoenix etc for Mark's debut, that he would just be too busy and frazzled to cook anything, so he hired a caterer. People like mom and I, people with kids, they do not do catered events. We will go make an appearance and 'oooo' and 'aaaaah' over Steven and his snotty lifestyle, then head back to the hotel (that Steven paid for, TYVM) and order a pizza, maybe stop off at the liquor store on the way.

Actually no, I will be spending every possible minute working on my homework. So no liquor store... but the pizza sounds great.

Tonight I took Alex out to get his hair cut, the black is finally gone, and I think he looks weird. I guess I got used to it. JP, I'm sure you will think he looks normal, you didn't see too much of the black, just a little on an IM once or twice, I think.

Tomorrow morning I have to take Hailey and Comet out to the Kennel that we use. And I have to go pick up mom at Dave's. He is watching Kate and Zoey for her. She wanted to leave her truck there so her girls didn't freak out too much. Probably a good idea, easier on Dave that way.

I still have some packing up to do tonight, and get the girls' things together. It will be a busy frazzled morning, I just know it, and there's nothing I can do about it. I can't do any of the running around tonight, it's just going to have to work. Thing is, the reason I will be in a hurry is just plain dumb. Steven wants us there by noon. TOO FUCKING BAD. We will get there when we get there. I am not gonna run my ass off so I can go spend MORE time in his museum plastic snotty house. No thank you.

OK, enough procrastinating, time to get the girls' food stuff rationed out for the Kennel guy, and find their leashes etc., make sure the kids are all packed (correctly... everyone packed more than one pair of clean underwear? Everyone have SOCKS?)

JP ~ I love you. I cannot wait to have you back here where you belong.

Thursday, December 7

Fun sentences

I got this in an email, the kids and I had fun with it. Alex's sentence was "I sang to a llama because I was high", Emma's was "I danced with my brother because I'm cool" and Eric's was "I ran over Chuck Norris because I'm a ninja"... Mine was "I danced with a spoon because I was drunk"... Now, I've done some dumb things drunk before, but dancing with spoons is odd even for "drunk nik"... but the kids got a chuckle...

Ok, now if you're reading this (YEAH, YOU!), you've figured out your sentence...POST IT!


Pick the month you were born:
January -- I kicked
February -- I loved
March -- I dry humped
April -- I smoked
May -- I choked on
June -- I murdered
July -- I did the Macarena with
August -- I had lunch with
September -- I danced with
October -- I sang to
November -- I yelled at
December -- I ran over

Pick the day (number) you were born on:
1 ------- a birdbath
2 ------- a monster
3 ------- a phone
4 ------- a fork
5 ------- a Mexican
6 ------- a gangster
7 ------- my cell phone
8 ------- my dog
9 ------- my best friends' boyfriend
10 ------- my neighbor
11 ------- my science teacher
12 ------- a banana
13 ------- a fireman
14 ------- a stuffed animal
15 ------- a goat
16 ------- a pickle
17 ------- your mom
18 ------- a spoon
19 ------- myself
20 ------- a baseball bat
21 ------- a ninja
22 ------- Chuck Norris
23 ------- a noodle
24 ------- a squirrel
25 ------- a football player
26 ------- my sister
27 ------- my brother
28 ------- an I-pod
29 ------- a permanent marker
30 ------- a llama
31 ------- A homeless guy

Pick the color of shirt you are wearing:
White ---------- because I'm cool like that
Black ---------- because that's how I roll
Red ---------- because the voices told me to
Blue ----------- because I'm sexy and I do what I want
Green ---------- because I hate myself
Purple ---------- because I'm cool
Yellow ---------- because someone offered me 1,000,000 dollars
Orange ---------- because I hate my family
Pink ---------- because I am not a homosexual
Brown ---------- because I was high
Grey ---------- because I was drunk
Other ---------- because I'm a ninja
None ---------- because I can't control myself

Tuesday, December 5

Watch this honey

I found this on another blog I read, then found out how to get it myself, cuz I love it so much! I think I've watched it 20 times. turn your sound on...HIGH

The Lion Sleeps Tonight

I couldn't think of a better title for this post, so I went with the song I'm listening to... sorry Scott, I know this one has special meaning to you, and I am especially sorry if it is now lodged in your head.

I was going to go to Fargo tonight, start on my Christmas shopping, but two things screwed that up: winter has arrived in Minnesota, and Emma had her hockey team photo shoot tonight.

The weather was so bizarre today, when I left school at 1:30, it was sunny, bitter cold, but sunny. By 3, the next time I looked outside, it was a combo of freezing rain and huge snow flakes. Made the roads really bad, really fast.

After Emma's practice and photos, Mom and I did run out to pick up a few things though, but we stayed right here in town. I got the new PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN II movie... so that alone makes me the greatest mom EVER. They think I got it for them... silly buggers. Any movie that has Johnny Depp AND Orlando Bloom... of course I must own it, HELLO?!

Mom is dealing with a life changing decision here, and I hope she makes the right one. Well, "the right one" is rather subjective, I know. I know what I want her to do, because I think it would be really good for her. She has these walls, big, thick and sky-high ones... she needs to put in a door, at the very least. I hope she sees that. If she had a door, I know one guy who would be on the other side knocking... I just hope she answers the door. He's not the Bogey man, he's not a solicitor, he's not trying to run her life... just share it with her. MOM? Did ya hear that? I love you and you deserve to be happy. Sometimes you have to do a little scary to get to happy. Go for it!

I found out today that I have NO FINALS the week of December 18-22. All of my classes but one will just end the semester with the last chapter of the book. The one class that is scheduled to have a final...hehehe, yeah, that's right, I have an exemption from that final. So my last day of classes is December 15th. How sweet it is to be a brown-nosing brainiac!! It's a nice change, and I'll take it! I promise, (Mom, JP, this is for you) that this is as close to being like Steven that I will EVER BE!!

I'm still pissed at the Army, but I'm getting over it. They still suck ass, and I hate them, but I have accepted the fact that JP and I will adjust, that's what we do. They fuck us over, and we adjust... it's been that way for years, and it will continue for a few more. We will get through this, and in the end, we win.

I love you babe, and I cannot wait to have you here, whenever that may be.

Monday, December 4

Six Days

I do not even know what to say here. I want to cry and I feel dumb for wanting to cry.

What's 6 days, right?

Well, by those fuckers pushing your leave back by six days, we are now looking at

  • The kids going back to school and spending most of your leave in class.
  • Missing New Year's Eve... last year was so wonderful, fun and bittersweet, and I don't even get that this year. Those fuckers.
  • I, like the kids, will have to spend part of the time you're home in classes.

If they had left it alone, it would have been perfect. I know I shouldn't whine, just having you here will make it perfect, and I guess I'm just being a big baby,

BUT IT'S NOT FAIR!!

I fucking hate the military. I really do. It just makes me bawl to think about it, and then I feel dumb, and THAT'S their fault, too.

I know I will get over this, just gimme a few days to be mad. I just want to stomp my feet and whine and cry but that doesn't really do any good, now does it? fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuckers.

Sunday, December 3

Great Quote from an interesting MSN article

I don't know, I found it interesting...maybe you won't.


A mainstay of the courting ritual, like so many pleasures of the chase, the frequency of your steamy correspondence can trail off as time goes on. That's a shame. Just because you may inhabit the same four walls doesn't mean you shouldn't occasionally remind the object of your affections of the reasons you chose them out of the 6.5 billion or so alternatives. Talk may be cheap, but of all the gifts you can give to the one you adore, a love letter will be remembered and treasured most.


Ignore it, pay attention to it, whatever... it's just here. And I like it.

hmmm, let's see

What a boring day so far.
I'm still in my PJ's at 11:30am, so that at least, is going well.

I have some homework to do, no problem, I can whip that out in an hour or so.

What I should really be doing is working on the house. I know me, I procrastinate, and it drives me nuts. It does work for me, I usually get shit done, but it makes me crazy. Why do I do this to myself? I have to get the old family room furniture out of here, take it to the dump, I want to get some major cleaning done, since JP's family is coming up at the end of the month/beginning of next month (some of them for the first time). They will be coming up for a late Christmas/see JP kind of visit. Plus I'd like to have the house looking nice just because JP is coming home.

Procrastination works for me in the sense that I get shit done, but at the same time, it does not work for me, because I end up being frazzled and bitchy. And sweaty. I hate being sweaty. I end up running around trying to get everything done NOW... when I could have had some of it done a week or even a month ago. It's funny, I like to think of myself as a good planner, I make lists, I get shit written down. But when it comes to the big stuff, I put it off and put it off, and put it off until I work myself up into a neomaxi zoom dweebie. (To quote Judd Nelson)

Funniest thing is, as I sit here, I am bored. I COULD, NO, SHOULD be doing this stuff. I have no motivation, that's the problem... anybody got any ideas? Ugh... get off your ass Nik!

Ya know what I really wish? I wish it was like the 23rd of December. THEN you'd really see me kickin' ass. It's like I'm gonna just sit here and wait for psycho time to kick in so I can do things, how dumb is that?

I rationalize it with "But it works for me"...BUT IT DOESN'T, NOT REALLY! I just wish I could learn to do things in a timely manner. Maybe I'm just too set in my ways, too stubborn (who? me? naw, never!) to realize that there is a better way.

OK, I have used this blog enough today for procrastination purposes...time to find something else. Maybe I will start small, straighten up the bedroom, then hope the cleaning bug bites me square on the ass and I can carry it over to the rest of the house.

Cross your fingers and hope for the best.
(OK, bug...BITE MY ASS!)

Saturday, December 2

Here's another fun picture



OK, so the email that brought me the KISS pandas also brought this one. And several others that I will post from time to time. I just really like them, I think the email was something about "when computer graphic geeks get bored"...

A couple of the pics were pretty disturbing, but so far I'm only posting the ones that make me giggle.

I have to get busy and

  • clean the house
  • clean our bedroom
  • finish my NaNoNovel so I can get a copy published
  • check our Christmas stuff, make sure were good there
  • do homework for next week
  • balance the checkbook so I can give money to JP so he can buy me a Christmas present
  • get Alex in for a haircut
  • get nice looking outfits for all 3 kids for next weekend

Guess I should not be sitting on my bed with my laptop, huh? But I think I'm going to take a nice long relaxing shower first. My weekday morning showers are always so rushed, gotta get in and get er done and get out because kids need to be woke up, and they need to get into the bathroom. If I were a bath person, I'd even want to take a nice long bubble bath, but eewww, no thanks, I do not consider stewing in my own juices to be relaxing. Gimme a really hot shower with no time limit and I'm a happy girl (not to mention a pruny one!)

That's what I will do: shower first, list later....

Friday, December 1

KISS my panda


I got this in an email... It just makes me smile.
We are really getting down there now, I guess.
I have no real idea when I will see you, but I know
it will be soon. Not soon enough, but soon.
I took Emma and Eric to get their haircuts tonight, they are both pissed off at me.
They both think their hair is too short. Emma got the cutest little bob, it's adorable.
Eric thinks that because his bangs are not in his eyes, his hair is too short.
I warned Alex not to laugh at them, otherwise he would get laughed at for the High & Tight
that I would be insisting he get tomorrow. He was very agreeable, and did not laugh.
We are having our first real blizzard right now. I almost wonder if I will end up going to Fargo tomorrow or not. Maybe all my whining and bitching about driving in the cold and sitting in the cold arena did not go unheard. Maybe I have been saved from (at least one) weekend of frozen hell. Yeah, Hockey season, THAT is when hell freezes over.
Well, I found out something interesting. The creators of NaNoWriMo worked out a deal with a publishing place. Every NaNoWinner is eligible to have ONE copy of their novel printed. You have to submit it by January 16th, along with your NaNo username, so they can verify that you did indeed WIN, and within three weeks, you will receive a BOOK copy of your novel. I have decided that this is my goal. It may be the only copy ever made, or it could end up being the only copy of the rough draft in existence. Either way...SO COOL!!