"So you think you can dance?"

Tonight I was asked to come to the family room, for a "performance". I sat down, as a good mother should, when begged by a child for a simple thing that requires nothing but my time. I can give that, no problem. But OH. MY. GOD. How not good it was. She turned on the CD player, cranked the volume to an icky song that I did not recognize and proceeded to "dance" ( and I use the term loosely) a little routine she had worked out. Thoughts of Elaine from Seinfeld came to mind, as did the scene from Napoleon Dynamite. Both of them are better dancers than my daughter.

I cannot even begin to describe what I saw. There are no words to actually explain it, it was bad, just so very off tempo and weird looking. I tried my best to have my 'smiling loving mommy' face on, but I could feel my eyebrows coming closer and closer together, wanting to frown. I pushed them high on my forehead with a great deal of effort, pasted a smile on my face, and prayed for the CD to skip, or break, or start smoking or ANYTHING to make it stop.

When she got done, I clapped, as a good mommy should, and then she asked me "So, what do you think? I have been practicing for a long time, I want to enter the talent show at school, can I?"


um.... I... um... well... gee..... (HELP!!) I asked her when the talent show is, how much time does she have? Not til spring, thank god, so I am hoping she will forget by then. For her own sake.

Poor child, she has inherited the dance gene from her father...