Ethics and College Writing II

Summer session started today.

I am realizing that it was a really smart move to take these two classes during the summer. For one, they're condensed... less than 2 months, less work. Knowing that, I shudder to think how much there would be if it was a full sized semester. As it is, there's a ton of reading, and just for Writing alone, it's three large papers due throughout the class and one smaller paper due each week, not to mention all the "journal writing". The nice thing about that is that it doesn't matter what the journal writing is about, so I could essentially just copy and paste my blog entries... or even, hell, I could turn in my NaNoWriMo rough draft to her. She can edit it for me, and it would count as my 10% journal entries portion of my grade.

The Ethics class is going to be a bugger, I can tell. Tons of reading and tons of writing. Some of the discussions dealing with this class will touch on religious stuff... (insert eye rolling here) but I will muddle through it and be fine... I want those A's!!

Both these classes are going to be heavy in both reading and writing, and I'm glad I get to concentrate on them now, without any Accounting classes, Tax prep classes, Macro-econ classes etc getting in the way. I do love a good writing and reading class, but I think if I had mixed them in with the core classes, these ones I like would have suffered just based on not having the time to dedicate to the writing.

Tomorrow is a nice day, I have nothing planned all day, nothing until the softball game at 6pm. I'm really worried, I didn't have time to practice pitching all weekend. I'm considering quitting, but I really want to do it. But if my classes stay like this, I may not be able to, and at the very least, I would have a great excuse to quit, too much homework to do! At least that sounds better than "I suck at this, and I hate sucking at things, so I'm quitting".

Then Wednesday I have an Ortho appt, and Thursday is the kids' last day of school. So at the very least, THIS week should go by quickly. I do love the fact that my summer classes don't start until 1 in the afternoon at the earliest. I can sleep in even on days I have class. And after Thursday, I don't even have to get up for a few minutes to get the kids up for school.

Summer is the best.

My brother's Graduation

I just got home from a short and sweet visit to the Cities for Steven's graduation. He now has a Master's Degree in International Business. There was an open house before the ceremony, and I thought I'd share a few pictures that I (and Emma) took. She did pretty good with the camera, I must admit. For the most part, the kids did behave themselves, I hardly had to threaten to rip their lips off at all!

First pic is Steven and Mark, then Steven and I, then Steven and Mom... That's all I'm posting for now, maybe some from the open house later (they're a little more casual)

Liars.... man, I HATE being lied to!

Yesterday I asked the kids to do stuff, working on getting ready for leaving this weekend.

I asked Alex to clean the litter box, and TAKE THE SHITTY LITTER OUTSIDE to the garbage can... so the smell of cat pee goes out with it.

I asked Emma to move laundry, take the load out of the dryer, put the wet clothes INTO the dryer and start another load.

I asked Eric to take both downstairs garbages outside to the can, including the empty laundry detergent tubs.

I asked them all if they had done these things. They all said "Yes, Mom". They all lied to me.

I'm used to my kids lying to me, kids lie on occasion, I know that. But I have never had all three lie to me at the same time. They were not conspiring, they were not working together to get out of chores. Individually, they each lied to me when I asked them. Wow, as a person, I am pissed, as a Mom, I am disappointed.

So I found out about the three liars this morning after they left for school. So I spent the day devising a plan. A plan of revenge. Nobody lies to me and gets away with it.

When they came home, there were lists on the table. (Yeah, lists, I am a list maker, it's what I do) The first one listed their lies. The second list gave them a "All three liars to-do list" which included mowing the lawn...front, side and back. Also on that list was cleaning out the Kia. They were to all do these things, and do them together.

They each had an individual list as well. The things they lied about? No, not on their lists. I spent the day cleaning most of the house, and did the things they lied about. No, their new lists were special chores... special punishment chores.

Alex: Clean the downstairs bathroom (It's pretty much HIS bathroom, nobody else really uses it, except in emergencies) and fold all of his laundry that I spent the day washing and drying.

Emma: Clean the upstairs bathroom. Now, both bathroom jobs included scrubbing the toilets, wiping everything down, sweeping and mopping. Not just a quick clean-up. She also had to fold and put away all her laundry.

Eric: vacuum every carpeted room in the house, and the stairs. Now, in order to vacuum, he had to clean those rooms enough to see the carpet. Plus the folding and putting away of his laundry.

They got hit with this news as soon as the last kid got home, around 4:15. They just finished everything up at 9 pm. Kept them busy, and got a bunch of stuff done.

We are leaving tomorrow at 7 am. I have alot done, but there is still much to do. I have to make my bed, and finish getting the kids packed. But at least the van is clean and the lawn looks good! It actually turned out nice that they lied to me. I was able to punish them and teach them to do as I ask or they will end up doing as I say. I was able to get a lot of help getting things done around here. I was able to get other things done today instead of mowing and bathroom cleaning.

There's a huge thunder/lightening/rain storm moving in tonight. I can look out the bedroom window to the West and see the sky light up every few seconds. It's not raining here yet, but it will be soon.

EDIT/UPDATE: Then I watched the news, and they were talking about hail. We have a one car garage. We have two vehicles. One is a 2005 Kia Sedona, my baby. The other is JP's truck, a 2004 Dodge Ram 1500. This is how much I love him... I put HIS TRUCK in the garage. I did park the van down the driveway a bit, under the two trees that line the driveway. I'm hoping the tree will protect the van from anything too bad. Love you honey, love your truck!

My first professional looking outfit!

Mom and I went to Fargo today, had to get cigarettes and dog food. I also needed to find an outfit to wear to Steven's graduation, and in July, to Nikki's wedding. It had to match my beautiful set of pearls, and that proved to be a real P.I.T.A.

What I got was a camel/tan colored skirt, knee length and a short jacket to match it. Then began the search for the perfect colored shirt to wear under the jacket. It could not have a collar, so no button-up, and a polo is too casual for the jacket and skirt, plus, anything up that close to the neck will hide the pearls, and that's the LAST thing I wanted. A couple of times I found a great style, but it wasn't in the right color, or if I could find the right color, I couldn't find the right size. Mom and I went to Herberger's, and two other little boutique types in the mall, then we tried Macy's, and Penney's. I did find a beautiful cashmere sweater in Macy's... perfect color, perfect fit, but I just couldn't see paying $90 for what amounted to a shell. Something that would just peek out over the top button of the jacket.

So we went to Target... of course. I just love them. I found the perfect color shell there for... (wait for it... oh hell, it's just too good for suspense!) $10!!

This is a great looking outfit, I may have Alex take my pic in it tomorrow afternoon. Anyway, this is something that I can wear a year from now on job interviews, and I can also wear when I land that great job. (Can ya tell that I don't dress up often, and I almost never wear something that looks professional?) I'm so excited!

Tomorrow is Friday, and I have to spend the day getting the laundry caught up and the house cleaned. Jason is staying at the house to dog sit, Hailey, Comet and Kate. I doubt he will have any problems with them, they're all good girls.

I'm tired. I have been turning into quite the night owl the last week or so. Ever since spring session let out, actually. Last night I was up til 2 am and the night before was 3 am. Then I go back to bed after I get the kids up and moving, and sleep til 11 am. I know that is why I'm up late then. Today I think I may have broke the vicious cycle. I got up at 6:30 with the kids, and after they left, I showered and went out to Mom's. Before we headed to Fargo, though, we had a stop to make...

At "XYZCompany"...(I don't advertise for things or places that I don't personally love) (half.com) (Target) where my friend Gina works. Mom went out there to get a job application. See, she did what I did last year. She walked out. Wednesday. She said it was the last straw, and she was done. I know how much she hated that place, and as scary as this is, she needed to do it. This forces her to go find another job... a better one. This crappy job she left? Working every single weekend AND every single holiday that the store was open. The only time that dump closed was Christmas Day, oh, and on New Year's Day, they opened late... instead of 6 am, they opened at 8 am... and Mom was there. What a shitty job working for some pretty incompetent people. Now she will find something better. She hasn't told Dave yet, he was coming home tonight from work (he works down in the Cities all week, staying in a hotel, comes home on weekends) She didn't want to give him this news over the phone. She's actually worried about how he'll take it! Holy crap, I don't know Dave anywhere near as well as she does, and even I know he's gonna give out a big whoop of joy when she tells him that she quit.

I put in earrings today. I had to push them through. (ouch!)I had my ears pierced when I was 13, and haven't worn earrings in probably 13 or 14 years. The only pair I could find (because I didn't want to wear the pearls, they're a bit dangley and I didn't want anything to happen to them) was the pair I bought in the 9th grade... yeah, 20 years ago. They're pewter and they're shaped like little daggers. Alex tells me I was a bit goth (before goth was defined, even!) (Cool!) He said it wasn't a compliment... bite me, saggy pants!

It's almost time for Letterman, I doubt I will make it to Craig tonight though.
Tomorrow is all about laundry, so I can not sleep in!

10 run rule and how much I love half.com

Thank god for the 10 run rule, otherwise we'd still be out there getting our butts handed to us!

We play 2 games per night, against the same team. I was the starting pitcher. Actually, we started the game batting, and I was the lead off batter, too. And ya know what? I got me one a them there hits! Yeah, did. And since I am a lefty, of course, everyone in the outfield headed over to the right field. Boy, oh boy did I screw them up! Drilled it high over the short stop's head and too short for the outfielder to catch. Eventually, with the help of Kelsi and Jacqui and Sara, I scored, too!

In the field, I was not so fortunate. I don't know how many hits the other team had, but I tell ya what, they scored at least twice as many runs as they had hits. Why? Oh, yeah, I walked in quite a few runs for that team. But I tell ya what, our team... we EARNED our runs on HITS...(I know I'm grasping at straws, but I need SOMETHING to make us sound good)

So the first game was called on the "10 run rule" in the 5th inning (we only play 7 innings) Rule is that if the other team is beating us by more than 10 runs in the 5th inning, the game is called...over...done. But the score was 20-9. So if I were a better pitcher, we may have had a shot. Oh well, after seeing the second game as it unfolded, I felt better. And by the way I DID strike out 3 or 4 batters. They were those girls who swing at anything, but HEY, a strikeout is a strikeout, and I'll take 'em!

So for the second game, we decided to let Sarah try pitching. Yeah, by the 3rd inning, Gary was asking me to come back in. They even let Angie come in from center field to see if she could do any better. Nope, she couldn't. She pitched to maybe 3 batters, walked them all.

So, I guess you could say that of the 3 pitchers, I suck the least! WOOOHOOO! So I came in to pitch in the 4th inning. I walked 2 and then a girl hit a little bouncer to Charity (short stop) and we got her out. Then, I struck out the side. It was still not enough, and we lost by the 10 run rule there, too.

The majority of the team went to Boonies, the bar who sponsors us, to either celebrate or comiserate... but I had to go home, Eric had Social Studies homework that he needed help on. We got home around 9, which is the kids' bedtime, and he and I worked on it until 10, and he is still not done. He asked me to get him up early to finish it up. He is such a good responsible boy.

Now, as I lay in bed typing, it's almost 11, I'm watching Dave, and I can feel my body rebelling. It's getting... tight. Stiff. Painful. Sore. I think I better plan on mowing the lawn tomorrow, try to loosen up my muscles.

I went up to the school today to pick up my books for summer session. They cost me $74. I brought them home and found them all at HALF.COM and bought them all for $31 (and that includes shipping, which was more than the cost of the books! The books themselves only came to $13!!) So I will keep the bookstore books until I have received all the ones I ordered. I have until the 10th day of the semester to return these overpriced books to the bookstore for full refund. I may have to start the classes with the spendy books, but I should be able to return them before day 10.

Well, I guess that's it for today. Pain in the pocketbook and pain in the ass... and the shoulder and the legs and the arms...But I'm having something to show for it... lower numbers on the scale... so it's worth it!

They're here!

My wonderful present arrived yesterday, they're just gorgeous, and now I have to go shopping to find a dress to match my pearls.

I will have to dress up this coming weekend for Steven's graduation (Master's degree in International Business) and in July for my niece Nikki's wedding. Yes, my name is Nikky, and I have a niece named Nikki. She's actually JP's niece, and she was something like 4 or 5 years old when JP and I started dating. And now she's getting married. Yeah, I DO feel old sometimes. But her hubby-to-be is a great guy, and I'm sure they'll be very happy... making me feel old.

I have a ton to do today, including a softball game tonight, so I have to go. I'm sure I will be online tonight, whining about how bad we got our collective butts whooped...

What's your lucky number?

You know, the number you always pick when someone tells you to "pick a number between X and X"

And here's the kicker... WHY is that your lucky number?

Mine is 6. Yeah, haha, Nikki Sixx (anybody old enough to get that reference... LOVE YA!)
It's not because of him.
It's because when I was a kid, living in the shadow of Steven, I was grasping at any victory I could get.
And one time, I needed a 6 to beat him. I prayed for a 6. I was willing to do anything for a 6.

And I got it.
And I won.
I beat him.
Just that once.
With the number 6.

Let me explain. Steven and I were playing a board game. Life, remember that one? You travel around in a little plastic car, get a spouse, a career, kids, and at the end, you get to retire. They make the end out to be a mansion or a dump. It all depends on how your spin comes out... At the end of it, you have to land with an exact number, otherwise you have to spin that silly wheel again and again until you land exactly at the end. I needed a 6. Steven was ahead of me (of course) and only needed a 2. Of course, the law of averages tells us that I had a better shot at moving ahead in any manner than he did. It was his turn... big spin and landed on 4. I was almost giddy. I still had a shot!
Inside my head I was begging for a 6. I desperately wanted to beat him at just one thing, anything really!

spin... and 6.
For a 10 year old kid, that was the best thing that had happened in my short life.

So that is why 6 is my lucky number... anybody else want to volunteer?

"Guard Widow"???

Wow, am I ever pissed off.
So this guy... this "friend" of my husband's... he was in the guards with JP for quite some time... no, he was not in Bosnia with JP, he managed to get out of going on THAT deployment... and no, he's not in Iraq, also managed to get out of THIS deployment... he and his wife have been one of the 'couple friends' we've known since we moved up here. I don't generally care for them, I always accepted invites from them for JP's sake... through this deployment, I've learned that JP doesn't really care for him either... He is one of those loud guys... I can't think of any other way to describe him, just too damn loud. Boisterous. Obnoxious. Yeah, guess I could think of other ways to describe him.

So they invited me and the kids, and another woman within our circle of guards friends and her kids (her husband is also over there, but hasn't been gone as long as mine) over to their place for a cook out for Mother's Day. It was a nice thing to do, Kelly and I were basically waited on and told "No, we don't need help cleaning up, you're the Mom, go sit and relax".

After dinner we went out to the back yard and played some horse shoes. It was all in fun, and it was a good thing because I suck at it, but so did the hosts, and you'd think they'd be better since they have the set up right there! But it was fun, and there were kids running everywhere (I had 2 of ours there, Kelly had 4 there, and the hosts have 3 of their own)

Sounds like everything was great, right? So why am I pissed?

While we were out back, Mr. Never-Deployed's cell phone rings, and in the conversation with whomever called, the question of "whatcha up to?" must have come up. His answer? "We're doing a cookout thing, got a couple of Guard Widows over for Mother's Day...."

How horrid is that to say? I realize what he meant, but to call us widows, as if our husbands are dead? Hurtful and in such poor taste. I think his wife saw the look of shock and hurt on my face because she quickly moved to scold and correct him.

Yeah, that's it, kids, let's go, it's getting late.
I really wish I would have refused the invite and spent the day with my Mom instead.

Good Night

the kids and I went out to Gary and Charity's last night. Had dinner, played some games (badminton, that silly ladder golf game) and then sat around the fire and talked. Adam and Sara were both there, too. It was alot of fun.

Today is Mother's Day, and I slept in quite late. I did get up at 8 to take the girls out, but then I went back to bed til almost 1 in the afternoon!

We are going out to Ed's tonight, basically the same thing as we did last night, food on the grill, horseshoes, bonfire, stuff like that.

I need to get back to school. I am not getting things done when I have nothing scheduled. One week from tomorrow is when classes start. I'm still waiting on my financial aid to get to the school so I can go pick up my books.
I found out something awful last night...may or may not happen and I am waiting to hear. Slinger 'graduated' last week, but still has a couple of summer classes to make up to actually get his degree. Adam was telling me about this, he thought Slinger said that the two classes he had to make up were College Writing and Ethics. Hell, those are the classes that I am taking! Shit if he's going to be in both my classes, this could be a long summer. Adam is going to talk to Slinger and find out for sure.

Well, I need to get something to eat, and I should call my Mom. She's at work right now, how awful is that, for her to have to work at her shitty job that she hates on Mother's Day.

Since you been gone

You know, the song by the Cars.

Sitting here listening to my iPod. That song came on. Got me thinking of everything that has changed and happened SINCE YOU BEEN GONE.

I got braces

I quit my job

I went to college

I went to Miami with mom and Steven

I can fix a dishwasher

I can use power tools to build stuff

We got rid of the old minivan

You got a truck

Alex got a built in desk and shelf in his room

Alex killed a deer.

Alex goes to dances and kisses girls

Alex showers every morning (that's gonna take some scheduling work when you get back)

Alex wears Tag body spray (like a guy, not a kid... freaks me out, too)

Emma is a GOOD hockey player

Emma scores goals

Emma has a green thumb, she has a live plant in her room (and it's been there since September, STILL ALIVE!)

Eric doesn't have tempter tantrums anymore

Eric saves his money like a little miser

Eric works in the summer at the toy store

Eric doesn't clean his room like a little trooper anymore

Eric loves the Vikings and wants to play football

Comet is bigger than Hailey, by ALOT

I put rubber mats, looks like cement slabs in the back yard to keep pup paws out of the mud

Our fence is shit, 3rd time is a charm, I'm calling someone to replace it!

The kids' favorite summertime activity is playing with the sandbox, NOT the PlayStation.

I am the pitcher on the softball team

Alex likes to hang out with me, he talks to me about stuff in his life.

Tiny is still fat (so no worries about big changes there!)

Eric is a reader, he is a great reader.

I can drive in Fargo without fear now, and find just about anything

We have frogs in our bathroom... Alex and I redecorated

The kids have a bike rack outside for their bikes, so I won't run them over anymore

That's all I can think of around here, now how about around town...

Menard's is here

KFC is moving, the old one being torn down for the highway moving. The new one is out by Menard's.

They put up a stop light north of the hwy 59 & hwy 10 intersection, by the lumber place.

The realignment project is supposed to be done by fall... it's going to be a horrible summer driving here

That resort on the lake is done and it is so nice, Steve and Mark stay there when they come. We are definitely staying there when you get home!

And through all the changes (not so much the city, but here at home) every time something happens, I think of you, and how you will react. I hope that it won't be too hard for you to adjust being back here. I hope it won't be too stressful on the kids, settling back into a life where they have a Dad. I hope you and I can get back to what we had, while keeping a bit of what we've gained from being apart. I hope.

Now I have to go shower and get ready, Mom and I are running to Fargo this afternoon. It's starting to rain, and it's not as warm as it's been. I also have to run to the post office before we head out.

You'll be home in just over 2 months. Last time I got excited about you coming home, the military screwed me over, so I'm trying to hold back. Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice and I get a gun... ya know?

I love you babe. Always and all ways.

I'm not a belly itcher

But I am a pitcher.
Yup, I was officially given the position tonight at practice. My catcher is a great girl named Kelsi, she and I get along great. While Gary (Charity's man and our coach) was hitting practice balls for the fielders, she and I went and practiced together. She's a Scooby Doo fan, so of course, I like her lots!!

After practice, I took the kids home (they all came to the park to watch and laugh) and then met the team at the bar that sponsors us. We had a couple of drinks and some appetizers. I must say, if I wasn't so gung ho on playing, I'd quit, just because this bar sucks ass. I mean, holy crap, we sat there for 15 minutes before a waitress even took our order, and then it was another 45 before our food (and DRINKS) SHOWED UP! One could argue that maybe it was a busy night, but IT WASN'T! Yes, there were several tables full, but it was not packed. Not an hour wait packed!

They were having a Karaoke contest though, that was amusing. The first guy we saw was good, then a girl who did really well. And a few others, some of whom I will mention later. Then a guy and a woman came up on stage. He was walking behind her with his hand on her shoulder. It became apparent rather quickly that he was blind. He did not sing someone else's song. He had his own material. Holy balls, he was SO GOOD. He played a guitar - looked like that guy... Jeff Healey in that Patrick Swayze movie Roadhouse. No, he did not look like him, but he played the guitar like him, laid on his lap. He was so much better than local bar karaoke. He should have had his own gig playing.

Of course, he won the competition, and will advance to the state competition. Good for him, he deserves it. It was a good time, because there was one girl, she was so bad. I could understand her being there for a regular singing night, but to be in the competition, I thought you'd have to be halfway decent. She did Bobby McGee by Janis Joplin. It was so awful. I am hoping she was drunk, THAT would at least explain why she was so bad. If she was stone sober, that is just sad and scary all at once. But it was entertaining... my face hurt from laughing so much at her.

And because of this fun night, I missed the episode of LOST tonight. I bribed Alex with a Moonpie to watch it and give me a play by play when I got home. Sounds like it was a great one, and I'm so mad I missed it. But it was worth it, I got a good workout, got all sweaty and stinky, and hopefully, lost a bit of me.

I will find out tomorrow. Here's another thing that ought to be on that list of 10 goofy things about me. I am adamant about weighing myself. It does not count unless it is done first thing in the morning (after I have emptied my bladder, of course, gawd only knows how much weight that thing adds when it's full!!) and I must be stripped down to nothing, not even my watch or my glasses. The last two days it has been the same. That is not normal for me, usually it fluctuates by a good pound or two from one day to the next. As long as it keeps averaging lower and lower, I am happy.

I am going to have to buy new jeans though. Too loose. And a new belt, either that or use a leather punch to put some new holes in it... can't cinch it up tight enough.

OK, time for bed, I'm already feeling sore from practice tonight. I may have to go for a good long walk tomorrow.

The Power of Pain

Well, I guess I'll stick with the pain plan.
Sunday I spent the late afternoon doing the softball thing.
Monday I grabbed my iPod and went for a 2 mile walk.
Today I push-mowed the entire front and side yards.
I hurt.
Alot.
But there's 4 pounds LESS of me to be in pain.

And actually, today (supposed to be the death pain day) is not terrible. Yes, I do have some pain, but I CAN walk without a limp, and I CAN move my arms over my head.

So I guess I have reached a turning point. I found out that I will not die by participating in physical activity. So I guess that each day I will partake in some form of it. If not softball games or practice, then mowing, or taking the girls for a good long walk.

I have to do something, this is just getting out of hand, and my husband is a great looking guy and I don't think he deserves to have people wonder what that hunk is doing with this cow.

Ok, enough of that. So I got some good news today. I found out that I qualified for Pell Grants for school next year! Just over $2000 PER SEMESTER. Yeah, that's money that I don't have to pay back!! So thanks to JP's deployment, our AGI is low enough to qualify me for Grants instead of loans!

Oh, and happy anniversary to us. Fourteen years ago, I married my Prince Charming. Back then, I never thought we would turn out like this. I mean, I knew we were in it for the long haul, and I knew I would always love him. But what I didn't figure on was the being apart for so long. I didn't plan on having to be without him for so long. I never would have imagined that I was strong enough, that our marriage was strong enough to survive this. I have learned so much about JP, about myself and about the strength and love that we share. I am not a religious person AT ALL, but looking at the past 16 years of my life, I know that I am truly blessed by having this man in my life.
I love you honey. I miss you so much it hurts.

Tag! You're it!

So I got tagged by MrsWho. I kind of like these things. I've seen blogs where people bitch about these, and maybe they're just not vain enough to own a blog... have fun, dammit!
So I have to give out 10 pieces of information about myself that are unknown to the majority of people who read this...

1. I have big feet. Size 10. Because of this, I often find great shoes in the men's department. Yeah, saying "I wear a size 8" sounds better as long as I keep the rest of the sentence ("in men's") internal.

2. I am on the verge of getting another tattoo. I have my Virgo symbol on my left hip, and my husband's name in a heart-shaped wreath of roses on my extreme lower back, and now I have the design picked out for my right hip. Now it's just a matter of finding the time and getting it done.

3. I am the bitch. In the realm of parenting in this house, I am The. Meanest. Mommy. EVER. Just ask my kids. It happened that way for two reasons , JP is hard to piss off, whereas I get mad at the drop of a hat, and two, because that's how my family was, Dad was the often-absent pushover, and Mom was the disciplinarian... she was also the fun one.

4. I love money. Yeah, I know, most people do. But I think this is teetering on the edge of obsession. I went into accounting because of money. Literally, actual money, not numbers on a spreadsheet, I'm talking bills, coins, all of it. The thought of having a ton of money and just laying it out on my bed and counting it all day, stacking it nicely, all smooth and facing the same direction, wow, almost orgasmic.

5. For the past year and a half, every time I see a bucket truck (some call them cherry pickers) driving around town, I start to cry. Because I know my husband is not driving it. I know he's not there.

6. I wrote a book. I tell people I want to try to get it published, but in reality, I am scared shitless. The fear of putting it out there to be judged is just too much, and I doubt I will ever actually do it. And that pisses me off.

7. I wanted so much to name my oldest son (Alexander) after the anti-Christ. I read the book "The Omen" as a kid, and fell in love with the name Damian. Nobody (including my husband) liked the name. Alex was due to arrive October 16. He was late. Very late. If he could have waited a few more hours, he'd have been born on Halloween and then I would have INSISTED that he be Damian. I still love that name, and am considering rescuing another cat and naming HIM that.

8. My mother is literally my best friend. I know people say that, but looking at my other friends, there is no comparison. We rarely act like mother and daughter. We are friends. The one giveaway though is that I still call her Mom. I tried once calling her by her first name... too weird. I cannot imagine being without her, and I know that someday it may happen, and thinking of that just makes me want to spend more time with her and enjoy it while it lasts.

9. If I had to, I could survive on Diet Pepsi and cigarettes. Not well, I will concede, but if the cupboard is bare, and there is nothing else, there IS diet pepsi and cigarettes in this house. They are my essentials.

10. I hate pineapple. And coconut. That is one of the biggest deterrents keeping me from trying out for Survivor. That's all those people eat quite often. I'd die of starvation with nasty tropical fruit sitting right in front of me. Plus, I don't think they'd let me bring a carton of cigarettes as my luxury item...

There, that's 10. and now... I get to tag someone.... STEFF! You're up!

No pictures, and no muscle tone

Oh. My. Aching. Ass.

and arms. and legs. and feet. and hell, even my hair hurts. But that's because of the wind blowing it in a million directions and ratting it up for me, even in a pony tail, still a ratty mess. But the rest of the aching is entirely because I am out of shape.

Now, I know the rule: if you get moving the day after a big (read: painful) workout, it will take your body less time to recover, and the recovery will hurt less. I've heard this, and I have my own theory on why it might actually work... Here's the deal, the day after isn't nearly as bad as the second day after. If you do something really active (and outside your couch-sitting comfort zone) on...say, a Sunday, then Monday will not be great, but still workable. Tuesday is the day that will feel like death. BUT, if you work those muscles again on Monday, you put off that second day death-pain until Wednesday. And then if you work it again on Tuesday, you push the pain back until Thursday. And so forth and so forth. Just keep putting off the pain. Sounds good in theory, huh?

The biggest problem with me actually making good on that theory is that I am a wuss. Pain is, well, PAINFUL, and I try to avoid it at all costs. (Surprising, I know, when one considers that I have 3 children. You'd have thought I'd have quit after the first bugger. Good meds make the memory fuzzy, that's the excuse I'm using to make that argument go away) But pain like this is self-inflicted, and AVOIDABLE.

But to play the (fat) Devil's advocate, having an ass the width of two axe handles is also AVOIDABLE. How? By stopping the wuss and living through the pain. I guess it comes down to 'what do I hate more? Pain or a fat ass?'

fat ass.
Yeah, I say that now, right now I can still move. Ask me again tomorrow... or, oh, the hell of Tuesday. Yeah, ask me then, and I bet I'll beg for the biggest ass ever just to make the pain go away.
The one good thing is that at the very least, I will be able to crawl back into bed tomorrow morning if I want to. Get the kids up and going then lay down and die. I doubt I have to do that physical activity FIRST THING in the morning. I'm sure it can wait til the afternoon... (oh, hell. the procrastination has started already!)

softball tonight

Tonight is the big night. Softball meeting and a quick practice. Yes, I'm a bit nervous.
I am not the most athletic person. In fact, I am one of the least athletic people you know. But I have to try. I'm noticing that I'm getting a bit wider in the hips than I'd prefer, and the baby belly is not going away, and after 9 years, it's tough to blame it on "I just had a baby"

I woke up this morning to something that pissed me off. The fence around the backyard... yeah, another damn panel was down. We had a pretty good wind and rain storm last night, and another of the 6 ft panels was blown out.
I'm going to check out at Menard's and see how much it would cost to replace them with the exact same style, but that white recycled material. It's supposed to be no maintenance, and pretty sturdy. That's what I want, plus the white looks nicer than the old faded cedar.

Time to go, maybe if we don't suck too bad, I will take some pictures to post later.

Wasted days and wasted nights

Wow, today was a total waste... and it was WONDERFUL!

I literally did NOTHING today. I was not feeling hung over from last night, just tired, and deserving of a break. So (and here's some irony for ya!) I lollygagged in bed all day watching a marathon of "The biggest loser"

I did do one thing, I guess. I made a grocery list. Haha. So that tomorrow I can go to the grocery store. And do the mountain of laundry. And the dishes. And sweep. And mop. And all the other housecleaning stuff that has been back-burnered for too long.

So that's all. Not much to talk about when I did nothing more exciting than eat Lay's potato chips dipped in guacamole for lunch. (again, watching The Biggest Loser... how ironic)

Now I'm just waiting for JP to get online so we can talk for a bit before he starts his day (Sunday). I got an email from the military families group here, talking about reintegration. It's really coming up. It's almost over. How sad is it that having him home will feel weird. Having him here will take some getting used to. But I am looking forward to getting used to that. I want that normal life back. I'd be thrilled to get back to normal. Hell, at this point a "rut" sounds just about perfect. But I know from the Bosnia deployment that at first, it will be difficult, getting him used to how things are around here, and then comes the fun part... the "newlywed" feeling. Certainly no ruts in that stage of reintegration!

Time to make sure kids are settled in for the night and get the girls out one last time.

Finally Friday, Girls' Night Out

So it took me all of 15 minutes to finish off my first year of college. Yeah, that Psych test took up maybe 15 minutes of my life. Not bad.

Afterwards I went home and settled in a bit. I got a call from Jacqui and we met with Karmeen and went to Perkins for breakfast to celebrate being done with our first year.

Then I went home and grabbed Hailey and Comet and headed to Mom's. We grabbed her and headed to the vet. The girls had a quick visit and shots, and we were off again.

I went home, got registered (online) for next fall and then filled out my FAFSA ( financial aid forms, also online) for next fall. Then I listed the rest of my Spring semester books on HALF.COM whom I love, and after all that running and work, I decided I needed a nap.
I got up at shortly after 5, and started getting ready for our girls' night out. We decided that breakfast was not enough for a celebration. Chances are excellent that all four of us will get a 4.0 GPA so we needed to RIP IT UP!!

As I was getting ready I found out that I sold my Income Tax book already (6 hours after listing it, FABULOUS) for $85 which is excellent.

We started out, Karmeen, Charity and I at the local bar in town, too crowded. Great band, but holy crap, can a girl get a breathe of air?
So we left town, went to a town about 20 miles away(east, honey, in case you were wondering) and found a nice bar.

I want to be perfectly honest with JP, so I'm gonna tell him what happened. He would not have been happy if he'd been there. But he wasn't and I handled it BEAUTIFULLY. I did not spend a dime in that bar, but I drank all night. I left the bar with Karmeen and Charity. Some random dork was buying us drinks, thinking he could buy his way into the pants of any one of us (did not matter to him WHO'S pants) with alcohol. We let him believe that, and had a good night. I did dance with him once (as did Karmeen and Charity, the price of the SEVERAL rounds of drinks he bought us) but in the end, we were having a GIRL'S night, and he was NOT invited. We had such fun... ok, ok, maybe we acted like teases(without getting out of hand) letting this goof think he was getting somewhere... but he kept the drinks coming, and we kept being nice to him (but not TOO nice, honey) and everyone left happy... ok, probably not the goof, but WE were happy, and that's all that REALLY matters, right?
JP would have kicked this dork's ass, but I took care of him without any bloodshed.

It was so much fun. And now that it's over, I am buzzed, and wide awake... at 3 am. Shit. Oh well, I don't have anything important planned for tomorrow, so I guess I can sleep in.

Next week is finals week AND I DO NOT HAVE TO GO IN AT ALL! pretty freakin' happy about that. My plan is to spend that week doing a major spring cleaning getting ready for a rummage sale.
and ( to quote Forest) "that's all I have to say about that"
pop in a dvd and veg for the rest of the night...er, MORNING.

emails that make me scream and being ahead of the game

So I didn't have class until 11 today, starting with my income tax class...last one.

• Finished my income tax packet (had to do 9 scenario tax preps, finished the last one in class today, they're for extra credit anyway)
• Corrected in class the tax test I finished up earlier in the week, got an A on that.

Then we went to Accounting/Computerized Accounting. They're together because it's same teacher, same room, and both were a "finish up whatever you need to, work at your own pace" kind of thing today. So I had from noon til 3 to finish that last big problem on my Accounting test, and take the Computerized Accounting computer portion of that test. Michelle (instructor) also ordered pizza for us, last day and all. She's so sweet. So I grabbed a slice of taco pizza, popped in my iPod and

• Finished (and handed in) my Accounting test.
• Got my Computerized test going... even though there were no 'check figures' for this, I felt like I had made an error, but didn't know where. I asked Michele how solid my A was in that class, how big was my margin for error on this test... hehehe. She said "You could actually not do this test AT ALL and still have an A" So, (happy me) I did finish it up, knowing I had some errors, but not seeing that it mattered a ton.

After I handed that in, I opened my email, just to check. I sent Marcus an email yesterday requesting my Excel exam grade, and my semester grade, too. I heard back from him...And gave a loud holler in the middle of class (I still had my iPod on, didn't realize how loud I was) when I read that I got 34 out of 40 on the exam, and a 92.5% for the semester, so I finally got an A from that man! I may actually end up with a 4.0 GPA for this semester! My toughest semester, most credits, most classes, and THIS is the one I may end up being perfect in... see! I really can do better under pressure!

I walked out of the school shortly before 2pm...ahead of the game. I had given myself until tomorrow morning to hand in that Accounting test...did it today.

So all I have left is that Psych test tomorrow morning. I should be able to breeze through that, too. It's open note, and I've had those done since last week. All I have to carry in tomorrow is that tablet of notes and a pencil. Normally, I have my laptop in a bag over my shoulder and a wheelie backpack pulling along behind me with all my books in it. It will be nice tomorrow to have so little to lug around!

All that stress I felt last Sunday night... gone. I could literally feel the weight coming off my shoulders as today went on. This feels good. I can't imagine how great it's going to feel a year from now as I am about to graduate... I really can't wait!

Over the hump day! But first...

I miss my husband, I wish he was here. Not just for me, but because today is his birthday. His second one spent in Hell. He should not be there, not today. I love you honey, I miss you more than you can imagine...well, no, I bet you can imagine. Just know that I cannot wait until the day you are back here where you belong, living with your family. The kids and I are counting the days. Happy birthday, see you soon babe.


And now to get back to business that doesn't make me cry:
Another good day, lots of stuff done, and DONE FOR THE LAST TIME, too, so that's fabulous!

• Excel exam done, think I did pretty good too! It was really a good idea to go over it last night for two and a half hours. And with that, barring a horrible failure on that test, I am DONE with Excel, DONE with Marcus for the rest of my academic career!
• I took the written half of the Computerized Accounting test. I'll take the computer part tomorrow. It wasn't too bad either!
• We were given our last Accounting test today, it's not due until next Thursday at 2 (our scheduled "final exam" time). I worked on it for about an hour in class (It's 6 pages long!) and I only have one "problem" left, the big one at the end. It may take tonight and tomorrow night, but my plan is to have it done by Friday morning. I can drop it off when I go in to take my Psych test.

I also had something really cool happen just now. Emma and I ran out to Walmart to pick up stuff (see next paragraph for the bitch about how bad Walmart SUCKS) and I met a really nice woman. Her name is Kim, she's my age, and her dad works with JP back here. Her husband is also in Hell. We stood there and talked for the longest time, and exchanged numbers so we can get together.

OK, it just wouldn't be me if there wasn't something to bitch about, I'm surprised I made it this long! I went out to Walmart to find a softball glove. The girls I bowl with are on a softball team in the summer. So now I'm going to do that. But I haven't played since (I think I'm right here, JP, correct me if I'm wrong) the summer of 1992... yeah, THAT long. And I wasn't that good back then either. But, like the bowling team, it's (obviously) not about being the best.

Here's the dilemma: I'm left handed. Walmart does not have one single glove for a left handed person. They suck ass. I hate them, I really do. Now I will have to go to the sports shop in town and pay 3 times as much just to stick it on the other hand.

cranky moment, just a little one, in an otherwise nice day. And, with Friday being so incredibly easy, I am officially OVER THE HUMP... it's all downhill from here!!

Uber-Tuesday

Wow, what a fabulous day!

What got done?
well, let me tell you... good day

• Computerized accounting project...DONE
• Income tax test...DONE
• Excel homework... caught up
• (saved the best for last) My persuasive speech... DONE

Not only done, but done well! I got an A+ on it! She handed back the comments sheet, and wow, she really liked it!

Here's a few of the comments she wrote:

• Good job anticipating the audience's reactions/questions
• your comment about "freedom from religion" was so powerful!
• Excellent conclusion (good use of cliche)
• (And her final words...) You are a great ally! You are also an excellent writer and public speaker!

So I'm in a uber-funky/ happy mood... supposed to be one of the worst/most stressful days (today and tomorrow were tied for the worst days!) and it ended up being one of the best!

This whole 'think positive' crap is working pretty well for me so far, I think I'm liking it!

Now it's time to call the pizza dude and relax for Dancing with the Stars and American Idol (yeah, yeah, shut up, they're my 'reward' for a great day!)