Would you let her do your taxes?

I have a dear friend who shall remain nameless (Other than "C", for typing ease) whom I believe is selling herself short, and will end up learning that lesson the hard way.

C is stubborn, not that I think that's a bad thing, I have a stubborn streak myself, but she is refusing to see that other people DO NOT have the same moral guidelines that she lives by. She refuses to see that what she considers perfectly normal public behavior, others consider to be pornographic at worst, and at best, they would consider it best saved for 'behind closed doors' behavior.

We went out last Saturday night, as I said, I was the designated driver, so I was absolutely sober, not even a sip of alcohol. I was seeing very clearly. In the past, when I have gone out with these friends, I have been one of the drunk ones, so I think I was not seeing things as I normally would have.

C is a beautiful girl, body, face, the works. She is also smart, and funny, and sweet. I think her behavior is selling herself short and allowing others to see her as an object instead of seeing the entire package.

She drinks and then starts dancing, nothing wrong with that, I know... but it's what happens next that crosses the line. Suddenly her fun, provocative dancing turns into the latest "Girls gone wild" video. Inevitably, she is dancing with another girl, because most men (around here anyway) don't dance, so it is not uncommon to see a ratio of 3 to 1 women to men on the dance floor...Right there on the dance floor, at the table, in the bar, with no regard or care as to who is seeing this that can only be described as a show.

So when we got kicked out of the bar Saturday night because of this, she refused to see that she did anything wrong. Even the next day, or Monday, when I talked to her, and she was no longer belligerent drunk, she did NOTHING WRONG. She cannot seem to grasp that other people WERE offended by her behavior.

Now, I try to stay out of it, but I can see ahead, and I have a pretty good feeling what is going to happen to C after graduation next May... she will apply for jobs, and the HR director of a company will have a vague memory of her dancing on a bar in nothing but a bra and thong... AND NOT AS AN EMPLOYEE OF THE BAR... and she will be overlooked for a job. Most likely a job that she could not only DO, but do WELL. As I said, she is so smart, and she is basically shooting herself in the foot.

I worry that when that happens, she will be crushed, but I really think having that happen is the only way for her to figure it out. I know she won't hear it, because friends have tried to tell her, but she refuses... I worry about her.