Metal mouth is now
METAL AND RUBBER MOUTH.
Oh. Joy.
I have entered the next phase of my braces. Rubber bands pulling my upper and lower jaws together to someday mesh nicely. Oh. Almost forgot. I will also have a surgery to break my lower jaw to 'help' them mesh, too.
Sometime in the winter I will go to a surgeon and voluntarily have my jaw broken, yanked outward (they're gonna suck fat out of my chin/neck area tho, nice. And have a small chin implant, too.) and then WIRE MY MOUTH SHUT! The estimated time I'm hearing for wiring shut for healing is anywhere from 3 to 6 weeks. Holy. Crap. Batman.
I will be on a liquid diet. Hear that? Diet. One I will not be able to cheat on. I will be drinking my breakfast. I will be drinking my lunch. I will be drinking my dinner. My body will rebel against the wussy liquids and start to digest it's own fat stores. Yippee. I can force myself to use up fat stores. No sneaking a chicken nugget. No picking up a candy bar while out at the store. Nuthin'.
It may sound like I am worried about this, or dreading it, but in reality, I am looking forward to it. I finally weigh in the 150's, and if I'm lucky, by the end of this whole ordeal, I will have a pretty and straight smile, AND a smaller ass and thighs that don't touch each other. I am so looking forward to starving myself into dietary submission!
But for now, the bands are a real pain in the jaw, I mean really!
I am allowed to remove them when eating, but the goal is to have them on for 22 to 23 hours per day. With them on, I can only open my mouth enough to fit a fork of food. A small fork with just a little food. My husband is so not impressed with my 'oral abilities' being stifled right now.
Me either honey, me either.
5 comments:
Poor...y'all! I was lucky and din't have to have braces but I can imagine it wouldn't be fun.
Liquid lunch and dinner...does that mean soups or are you blending your steak and potatoes together? That's enough to roll even the ironest of stomachs.
Oh, and the strawberry jelly is my favorite! Sorry I haven't made more a deal about it...it's yummy!!
Steff, Im thinking soups, jello, pudding and nutritional shakes... oh, and diet pepsi, of course.
I don't think the blended steak and potatoes will go over too well, I do not possess the ironest of stomachs. (Is that really a word, or did you just make it up?) LOL
No BJ's for 6 weeks? Poor JP. Hope you have a speedy recovery!! Let us know before you have the surgery. At least you can still type to all of us when your mouth is wired shut.
I was on a liquid diet once. Beer, whiskey, wine and scotch. It was the bets diet ever! But it made me pee alot though.
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