Christmas Q & A

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags?Gift bags are SO much easier, and I'm all about being less complicated!
2. Real tree or Artificial? Artificial
3. When do you put up the tree? We usually try to wait until after my youngest boy's birthday, so he doesn't feel like his birthday is shoved into a corner because CHRISTMAS IS COMING!... his birthday is December 22... so it's often a quick tree-throw up...haha.
4. When do you take the tree down? As soon as possible...dogs, cat, it could get ugly if left alone too long!
5. Do you like eggnog? Ick...no.
6. Favorite gift received as a child? The Barbie Dream House... the original. That same year, I got Barbie's baby grand piano, THAT ACTUALLY PLAYED MUSIC!! That was a great year.
7. Do you have a nativity scene? No, not really into religious part of the holiday (yeah, yeah, I know, I'm going to hell, welcome to my world! LOL)
8. Hardest person to buy for? Usually, my husband... but my 14 yr old boy is running a close 2nd!
9. Easiest person to buy for? My mom, if I like it, she will like it, so it's like shopping for myself!
10. Worst Christmas gift ever received? My MIL got me a glitter Santa watch one yr... red fake leather band, HUGE face, it was Santa's face IN GLITTER. What did I ever do to her?? huh?
11. Mail or email Christmas card? People email Christmas cards? ewww. I mean, it's fine for Internet friends, but not for family and 'known' loved ones... I think emailed cards are...lazy?
12. Favorite Christmas Movie?A Christmas Story, with the Red Rider BB Gun (You'll shoot your eye out!!)
13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? As soon as I can afford it, Right now, I am ALMOST DONE! That's gotta be some kind of land speed record for me, usually I procrastinate!
14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? Of course! No explanation, just YES.
15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Somebody always dips pretzels in white chocolate... I can always count on those, and I so love white chocolate, and the salty of the pretzels... just the perfect combo.
16. Clear lights or colored on the tree? I prefer the classic white-only lights on the tree. Last year, we got a fake tree, PRE-LIT!! Less work, that sucker is ready to go!
17. Favorite Christmas song? The bells one... I don't know the name, it's just bells, no words or singing crap. Otherwise, I don't care for Christmas music.
18. Travel at Christmas or stay home? It depends on what day of the week it falls, if it's near a weekend, we usually travel 5 hours south to his family's. This year, we are staying home... Steven and Mark are coming up the weekend before. So finally, a year with NO TRAVEL, it's a rarity!
19. Can you name Santa's reindeer? Yeah, I can... but I CHOOSE not to!
20. Do you have an Angel on top or a star? Star... an angel always makes me think of a "stick it up your ass" joke...
21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? Morning!! ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS! JP's family is screwed up, they do the Eve thing... it's just wrong.
22. Most annoying thing(s) about this time of year? Where shall I start? 1. My favorite radio station started playing Christmas music ONLY... as in 24/7 Christmas tunes!! within a week after Halloween. No more oldies, nothing good, just Christmas crap OVER AND OVER AND OVER. So I had to find a new station for the duration. 2. Shopping when there are children present. Not mine, I'm not stupid, mine stay home, I'm talking about other people's kids... loud, tired, cranky, LEAVE THEM HOME! 3. Those people who give you gifts that you weren't expecting to receive a gift from, and then suddenly they're standing there, gift FOR YOU in their hands, and you have nothing for them... and usually, the gift they give you is one of those generic bath sets, or some other crap that nobody needs more of!

OK, that's it, thanks to Steff for this, it was fun! If anybody else is going to take it, leave me a comment so I can come see yours!

No time to walk slow

I got told this morning that I walk too fast.
Really?
I guess I do, but I should. I don't have time to walk slow. I have shit to do, there's always something to be done.
I am walking with a destination, not just walking for the sake of walking, ya know?

As my grandmother used to say: "Places to go, people to meet, don't have time to sit on my seat"

I was going to say that "maybe someday" I can walk slower, but honestly, I don't want to. I don't want to NOT have something to do. I don't think I care for having THIS MUCH to do, but I don't think I could handle having NOTHING to do... time to dawdle and lollygag about... no thank you.

Other than screwing up on those "lost" bills, and feeling behind and lost in my classes, I guess I'm doing okay. Yes, I am done with my pity party, feeling better about it now.

Oh, and I believe I am going to quit smoking, too. Start out slow, cutting back, then I will start taking Zyban again (It worked before, but I quit taking it too soon) and other than the funky dreams, it was working very well. I wasn't smoking, AND I wasn't bitchy about it... well, okay, no more bitchy than normal.
So I think I will give that a shot. It's cold here, less than zero, with no relief in sight... and I do not smoke in the house. Cold is a good incentive to quit, I think winter is the best time for me to try this. No guarantees, but I have to give it my best shot.

Christmas shopping, comfortably numb

I left school early today, and didn't have to work. I ran over to Fargo, met JP (he was there all day doing a check-up at the VA Hospital, a requirement of his return...all is well, mentally and physically... my sound-minded stud muffin)

JP and I had follow-up dentist appointments, since we each had to have a filling. We decided to get started on the Christmas shopping before we got drilled though.

First we found the PERFECT gift for my mom... I am so proud of myself for thinking of it... she's going to love it! Then we went Wii game hunting. I had three specific titles in mind, one for each kid.
Alex: Bleach (some dumb Japanese anime thing)
Emma: Mario Galaxy
Eric: Lego Star Wars

I got the "expensive" gifts out of the way; the gifts that can't really be found here in our little podunk town. I still have "Christmas money" left, tucked it away, and I will be able to finish the shopping here... in all my 'spare time'..haha.

Then I got Novocaine, LOVE THAT, and got drilled... came home and found out that we have a name for the little puppy!!
After "consulting" with her son, because she was having difficulty naming "her" puppy, Mom decided upon this: ELPHABA. That is the actual first name of the Wicked Witch of the West, Wizard of Oz... have you read the book "Wicked"? or seen the Broadway play? Of course a gay man suggested a name from Broadway... Her registered name will be "Wicked Elphaba of the West" and we will call her Elfie on a daily basis.

It's officially winter here, the temps have been down to zero... sometimes I really hate Minnesota. Blowing snow, scraping windshields, it all sucks... but it is nicer this year, once we get enough snow to be shoveled, I know I won't have to do it this time! Just had another "glad he's home" moment!

3 weeks left, falling behind

I now officially have 3 weeks left of fall classes. I am so burned out. I'm tired. I don't remember it being this bad last fall, and back then, I was carrying 19 credits, whereas I only have 17 this time. Maybe it's because I pretty much HATE all of the classes that I'm taking, and I'm barely hanging on to understanding it, too.

I just really don't think this teacher is...um... TEACHING us anything. She's more worried about us LIKING her than she is about making sure we are getting the education we are paying for. She is easily pushed over into giving us a week to do a take-home open-book test in EVERY class instead of making us actually be prepared and taking the test in class. Of course, that style of test works with how we are learning the material, since she is a terrible teacher, we have to use the book on our own to learn the stuff.

I am falling behind in Computerized Accounting. I have no clue what's going on in Business Income Tax, Managerial Accounting I can "understand" for a minute, then she moves on to (not) teach something else, and I am lost again. My Intermediate Accounting class is going okay right now, but that's due to the chapter we are on RIGHT NOW. I can't say that the next will be as understandable.

I am considering quitting my work/study job. I know I won't be able to do it in the Spring, my schedule will not really allow me to have time. Maybe I can make it just 3 more weeks. I do like the paychecks, they do come in handy.

I will be happy when Spring semester starts, even happier come May, when I graduate! I never realized how nice it was last year, to NOT work while attending school. Now, when I get home from school, I have to get ready and go to work, and when I get home from work, I SHOULD do my homework, but I am just beat, and all I want to do is relax.

I'm just whining, don't mind me, I'll get over it soon... yeah, like in 3 weeks!

By the way, I got my score on my last Macro test, got a 93 on that sucker! WoooHoooo! Sweet redemption!

The Standard

"What I am thankful for" Post... of course



One year ago, the kids and I had fish sticks and tater tots for Thanksgiving.
I am thankful that my family is whole again. I am thankful that my husband is here this year to carve the turkey, being anal enough to separate the white meat and the dark meat on two platters, because that's how he is.

I am thankful that my husband and I can talk to each other about our differences and work out a compromise that neither blames or benefits either of us excessively. Our faults and our benefits are ours to share, and we do so because we are a team, and obviously, we are a team that works well together.

Oh, and the stuffing was really good, thankful for that, too.

Look what we got!!

This is Coober Pedie (it's a location from a few seasons ago of THE AMAZING RACE, can't remember what country it's in, but the name of the place made me laugh... Australia, maybe?)

But we can't exactly NAME the pup, since it's Steven's, and she's a surprise, but we have to call her something!

We went to pick her out and knew right away, she's got a stripped bit of white on her hind left foot. Zoey had a bit of white on her back foot, too.

Sometimes you just know.

Hailey and Kate seem okay with her, but Comet almost seems a bit afraid of her. Which is funny, since Comet is the biggest dog here. I think Kate's motherly instincts kicked back in, because when Hailey tried to play a bit too rough with Coober, Kate stepped in and said NO.

One month from tomorrow, this little bugger will be leaving us, and going to a very good home where she will be spoiled and treated like a queen...by a couple of queens! LOL, I am so damn funny!

Puppy shopping

We are headed North this morning to find a puppy. My brother-in-law wants to get my brother a puppy for Christmas, and with them living in the Metro area, of course they're more expensive than out here in the sticks. Steven has wanted a puppy for a long time, but Mark has been saying No, and giving all sorts of excuses for not getting one. The main reason, and I understand it, was that (is that) Steven travels quite a bit for his job, so any dog care would fall primarily on Mark. I guess he finally decided that it won't be such a bad thing.

Steven knows about the puppy shopping, he thinks I am getting one for Mom for Christmas. So he is terribly jealous, and when they come up on the 22nd of December to celebrate Christmas, Steven will be green with envy meeting "Mom's" new baby... until Mark lets him off the hook and hands over the pudgy wiggly soft sweet little bugger to him.

I will be taking my camera along, of course, and will post pictures later today...

hair cut

it's the best I could do, home alone, and used the bathroom mirror! And, no, I tend not to smile for pictures... at least not anymore... maybe I will after the metal comes out... besides, dontcha feel like a dork smiling all by yourself for a picture? Well, I do.

Now I am ACTUALLY happy for you!

Back in August, I posted this, pretty vague and without much detail. Today, I can be completely NON sarcastic and say how happy I am for my dear friend, who CALLED OFF THE ENGAGEMENT!!

She finally saw the light, saw what everyone around her was already seeing, and broke up with the slug. I could not possibly be happier for her. I was so worried that they would end up buying a house together (they WERE looking) and then she'd really be stuck. Like I said back then, all I could do was be there for her when she finally opened her eyes, and I'm doing that now.

Because no matter what, she DID have strong feelings for him at one point, and it does hurt to end a relationship (they were together for 2 years) but she sounds so good about it, she realized that she has grown and changed, and he never will, all he will do is continue to smother her and be a child that she can't take out in public for fear of what moronic and offensive thing will come spilling out of that hole in his face next.
Not anymore.

I am so happy for you, hon!

Been thinking about Mom

Alot lately.

She lives in my basement. I like her there.
Our relationship is so much more than just mother/daughter. She is my best friend. Truly the best person I know.
I would call her by her first name, after all, she calls me "Nik" not 'daughter', but we tried it once, and it was weird. So I call my best friend Mom.

I've been thinking some rather selfish thoughts of her lately. I want her to stay. She got a good job, she's making money again, and I assume that someday she will consider moving into her own home. Here's the selfish part: I don't want her to go. Ever.

For the past 2 years, hell the past 5, ever since the deployments started, she's been here helping me. She and I have been close ever since I started having kids (don't ask about our relationship BEFORE that, it wasn't always pretty) But when she moved in here, it felt like she became part of MY family, instead of me being a part of hers. If she left, I would feel like I lost a part of my family.

She has lost several members of her family in the past 5 years, in fact, the majority of them within a just under 2 year period. Her sister Diane is all she's got left of 'her' family. But she is a part of mine. She is a very important part of my family. She kept me sane when my husband had to leave, she was a shoulder to cry on more times than I can count. She made me laugh when I wanted to cry... often. She let me cry when I really needed to.

I feel like I am a better person when she is there to keep me grounded in what's important, she reminds me of what REALLY matters, what's real and really meaningful.

I want her to stay.

I am the 8th Dwarf

Happy, Sleepy, Dopey, Doc, Bashful, Sneezy, and Grumpy.

And then there's me... Forgetful.

I have started to feel the effects of working 55 to 60 hours in a two week period along with attempting to maintain a 3.96 GPA. Or, rather, my "thing" is being affected.

You know, everyone has a "thing" that they do, that they're good at, that they feel like they were born to do. For some people, it is raising a family, children, ya know? Nope, that's SO not my thing.

My thing is being organized and efficient. And that has started to fail. I misplaced two bills in the last month. The garbage bill, which we pay for 3 months at a time, in advance. It was due in the beginning of October. I just "found" it last week... and promptly sent off the check, along with a note of apology. And then there was the truck payment. Also due mid-October, also not paid. I honestly do not remember even seeing the bill for it. Because I know if I had seen it in the mail, the statement would have gone in the "bills" binder until payday. I have a 3 ring binder that contains the payment book for the van, the budget and all the bills that need to be paid on the next payday. THAT is my thing. THAT is what I do, and until recently, THAT is what I did well. I was on top of things, I was paying bills and writing checks either ON payday, or on occasion, the day before payday. So now I have to make two truck payments out of one paycheck. And that leaves us short. There is the money from Mom, but I don't want to use that, I said it was for Christmas shopping and I want it to stay that way. All the bills are paid, but it just leaves us a bit tighter than I prefer. JP and I both got paid, me on Thursday and him on Friday, and here it is Friday night, and the money is pretty much gone. I get a work-study check on Wednesday and all I can say is THANK GOODNESS, because instead of going to savings, that money will probably be very necessary for us to make it to the next payday.

I feel like I'm losing it. I know, I am just having a pity spazz attack, I'll be fine... but it bothers me.

Wham, Bam, Thank you, Ma'am

AKA: A Quickie

bad test score, better than my friends but still not my usual ass-kissing level, so I wasn't happy.

JP is off to a Guards weekend, he's leaving tonight, won't be home until Sunday... Emma's got hockey all weekend, one game on Saturday that JP and I will both have to miss, and the one on Sunday here in town, I will be able to go, but Daddy won't be back in time.

Hockey season brings with it such headaches and stresses. I thought (silly me) that having JP home would release me from that. I was wrong. Oh. so. wrong. Now we find out that she's got a tournament in International Falls, a 3 days tournament! These are 10 year old girls... playing in a tournament that's damn near in Canada, for THREE FRIGGIN' DAYS??!! JP is taking her up to that, I won't go. I would have to miss work on Friday and Saturday, my two best days for picking up hours. That tourney isn't until December, but holy crap, we are getting close to it, aren't we?

Yes, yes, I will get a picture of my haircut, as soon as I can, but not today, because I boycotted hair products this morning, so I look sloppy today... do. not. care.

details

No, I haven't taken any pictures, but here's a rundown of the shopping I did:

• 1 pair of shoes
• 5 pr of pants
• 10 shirts
• 6 sweaters
• 1 skirt

Most of it is mix and match, too, so the possibilities are almost endless, and it's going to be easier for my mom, too. She does my ironing... (Insert blush here, I do not know how to iron stuff) But before, I only had like 5 pairs of pants, and work 6 days a week, so she was ironing quite often for me. So really, one could say that I did all that shopping FOR HER. Plus, the money I spent on all these clothes came out of my savings account, which was stocked with MY paychecks, from the bank, and work study jobs... so I bought my own clothes, and that made me feel good.

I also got my hair cut...did I mention? I had them chop off enough so that I could donate my hair, which is something I've wanted to do for quite some time. So instead of just long layers that looked in dire need of a trim, I now have a short little bob. I like it except for one thing: my hair likes to flip out. It takes extra work (and 'product') to get it to curl under the way it's supposed to. If I just wash it and don't dry it and brush it under with the blow dryer on it, it will flip out and look stupid. So it's more work, but I really think it looks more professional, so I guess it's worth the extra time in the bathroom.

The kids have conferences coming up, and I won't be able to go to Alex's. His are tonight, and I have work. They don't give enough notice on the conference schedule for me to have asked for the night off. Next Monday are conferences for Emma and Eric (they're in elementary school, Alex is in the middle school) so I will have to miss bowling to go to theirs.

Bowling last night was pretty good, I beat my average and we beat the team we played 2 out of 3 games. It's a good thing, too, because we had a couple of weeks of really sucking, and we dropped down from 1st place. Quite a ways down in fact. There are nine teams on our league, and before last night's scores, we were down to 7th place! Oh, how the mighty have fallen, huh?

I'm looking forward to going to my Macro class tonight, I will get a test score back, and we are taking another test tonight. All of my friends did not do too well on the test (bastard teacher emailed them their scores, but NOT ME... fucker) so I am nervous about how I did...

Enough for now, maybe I will discuss more later, like after class when I get my score... or maybe I will not feel like talking about it, who knows?

shopping and bowling

I MAY post a picture or two of some of my new clothes, that will have to wait, It's about to become a busy week.

I did alright in bowling tonight, 134, 124 & 109. That makes my average for the night to 122, which beats my season average of 117, and THAT is a good night.

I will blog some details of crap tomorrow during my income tax class. I have to try to get some sleep, not sleeping well lately and not getting enough of it...

Wii would like to play

I just love those Wii commercials.
I went to Best Buy today and (GOT IN A LINE, CAN YOU FRIGGIN' BELIEVE IT?) picked up the "Santa gift" for the kids.

I will blab more later, but I'm coloring my hair right now, and I tend to lose track of time when I start typing, and I'd hate to end up with a funky color here. All I'm trying to do is get rid of the roots... roots that show my white hairs... I do not color my hair to change the color, I color my hair to keep my color.

I went shopping this morning on my day off (Thank a Vet...I did... wink, wink) and holy balls, did I get a BUNCH of stuff. All work clothes, but I really needed them, so I did a major spree, and I did really well, too.

More on that later.

Battle of the Bands

well, sort of.

Alex's friend Diesel is over, and he brought Guitar Hero III with him. The boys talked me into playing a little. Next thing I know, they've talked JP into playing, too.

NEXT THING I know, JP and I are having a play-off. The stakes?

Loser makes supper.

Alex and Diesel picked the song, something that neither of us knew, to be fair. They chose something from that stupid movie "Tenacious D & the Pick of Destiny".

I just know you're on the edge of your seats wondering who won, right?

Well, figure it out, I AM SITTING HERE BLOGGING!!
HAHAHAHAHA
I beat him, I beat him, I beat him!!
Not just by a little either... the stats at the end were Me: 93% correct, Him: 80% correct.
nanner nanner nanner.
I wonder what's for supper?

PS The deer count for the family so far is pretty meek... JP got a doe, Alex and I have nothing yet. But there's tomorrow... and I am known for procrastination...

May I be blunt?

Well, yes, I guess I can, with or without your permission, it's my damn blog...

But being blunt, that's my point. If you've ever read my profile, you'd see it right there, I don't mince words. I do not beat around the bush, and I have never in my life 'pussyfooted' around the subject. Not only will I NOT do it, I doubt very much that I CAN do it. It's just not me, it's not my nature.

However, one time only, I am going to try very hard to give it a shot. Why? To explain myself. Why? Hell, I don't know. But I woke up at 5a.m. thinking "I don't give a rat's ass what you think, because obviously you do not have any inkling of WHO I am, or HOW I am, so shut up". Since I was not able to get back to sleep after waking up to that thought, I decided to funnel those rebuttal thoughts here. It became obvious that I DID, in fact, give a rat's ass.

I do not 'like to kill' things (yes, I do, I cannot lie) but it's not as simple as that... of course it isn't. When some kid goes in and shoots up his school, it's never as simple as " the other kids didn't talk to me, or weren't nice to me" OF COURSE there were other things going on...hello? Kid had mental issues...

Not that I'm saying I have mental issues, well, ok, whether I do or not, it has NOTHING to do with me being straight to the point and honest. I'm saying that things on the surface are hardly ever just that. For the love of all that is good and holy, learn to read between the lines... K?

I do not mince words because I feel it is generally a waste of time. I'm talking strictly about the spoken word here, because I do love to write fiction, and as most of us know, fiction writing is full of minced words and tons of lily-gilding and oodles of pussy footers and bush-beaters... THEN, I can do it... in fiction, in (here I go, being me:) in shit that's not real. THERE, I can get all flowery descriptive on your ass... but not in real life, I just don't have the time for it.

I like to hunt because I love that adrenaline rush that comes just as I squeeze the trigger... and it doesn't matter what's in my sights, a paper target, a chipmunk, or a deer, the feeling is the same. (OK.. stop right there, that's not true, paper targets do NOT get adrenaline pumping, just live critters) It's a feeling of empowerment that probably goes back to when I was about 10 years old.

(insert flashback squiggles a la Wayne & Garth here)

My mother practically had to beg my dad to go deer hunting. Dad went every year with "Dick" (not his real name, but it should have been) so they let her go one year. Dick was a male chauvinist pig, really a jerk... well, a Dick. That year, my mother got the only deer between the three of them. I cannot express how proud I was and still am of her.
So I guess part of it is a "girl power" women's rights thing, Anything you can do, I can do better, I can do anything better than you. Hunting was something I grew up with as being something that 'the men' go out and do every year. Until my mom did that.
I am very proud of the gun that I bought this summer, I LOVE that gun. I love the fact that I can hit those sneaky little chipmunks, I am very proud of that. I am a good shot, dammit, and just saying (typing, duh) that makes me smile a sheepish, embarrassed grin. I do not go around spouting off my attributes, not that there are a ton to spout, but regardless, I do not spout. But there are somethings that deep down inside, I am very proud of... but I really prefer not to mention them most of the time. No spouting, no mincing, that's me.

But if it makes you feel better, here:
I love venison, so we go hunting...

Playing hookie tomorrow

Our hunting weekend was full of seeing deer through the trees, couldn't get a clear shot. But just looking at her through the scope on the gun was SUCH a rush! I swear my heart was pounding in my throat AND in my ears.

So tomorrow JP and I are playing hookie in the morning and going out to try again. Our season here ends next Sunday, so my opportunities are getting pretty short. I work next Saturday morning, so it'd just be Saturday afternoon/evening or Sunday. So I'm going to skip out of a couple of classes and see if I can kill something.

I do have one concern however. I have been, over the last week (I remember it "started" last Monday afternoon, so it's really just been a week) having "issues" with my guts. Now, I don't want to get graphic, but it involves not wanting to be too far away from a bathroom, let's just leave it at that, K?

Last Monday was rough, I even called in and didn't go to work. Again on Thursday was a bit bad, not as bad as Monday, but still, not fun. And now today, too. Last Monday I figured it was what I had for lunch (Chinese buffet) just didn't agree with me, since it hit me about an hour after lunch. But ever since then, it's happening WHENEVER it bloody well feels like it! Little concern about being out in the middle of the woods if my body decides to... liquefy my assets?

Gawd, I cannot believe the things I discuss here, I'd be embarrassed, but honestly, I just don't give a hoot! HA!

The deerhunter

So I whined last weekend about JP not getting me a new gun, he got himself one, and of course, he got Alex one for his birthday, but WHERE'S MINE? Well, in his defense, he didn't know that I REALLY want to go deer hunting. I have wanted to go for years. In the beginning of our marriage, he always kept me pregnant, or recovering from childbirth during deer hunting season. (No shit, my kids' birthdays are Sept 27, Oct 30 and Dec 22... coincidence? I think not)

But tonight we went out and got me a license. To kill a deer. Now, I get an adrenaline rush shooting a silly ass little chipmunk... a squirrel damn near makes me giddy... I cannot imagine what getting a deer would do to me... but I think, just to be on the safe side, I will bring along a change of clothes tomorrow... pants, at least.

I am not going out in the morning, I'm letting JP take Alex for that (Yeah, I'm the giver... hehe, I just want to sleep in on a Saturday for once, I DON'T have to work tomorrow morning!) But he's going to swap hunting partners about midday, probably do the same on Sunday.

So I will be posting pictures, either of my deer, or JP's... or Alex's. SOMEBODY in this house is going to kill a deer... I SO want it to be me!!