Dropping the ball

1. Didn't mail the package to JP last Wednesday like I said I would
2. Didn't call Jenny last night with the web address she needs
3. Didn't leave a check for mom before I left for class yesterday
4. Didn't bowl worth a shit last night
5. Didn't get my Bus. Math homework done over the weekend
6. Didn't touch my Accounting project either
7. Didn't get the minutes printed out for the senate meeting yesterday.

These are just 7 things off the top of my head I have dropped the ball on lately. I'm sure there are more, but I've forgotten them, too. I'm tired of being scatterbrained and forgetful. I'm sick of letting people down who are depending on me.

I'm in a funk, I don't feel well, I'm not sleeping well, and it's really starting to take it's toll on me. I seriously think I may as well be quitting smoking cold turkey, THAT'S how bitchy I've been lately. Something as simple as driving across town puts me in the pissiest mood. Maybe it's because I attract idiots like a damn magnet, maybe it's just because, like Shrek's buddy, I too am a donkey on the edge!!

I go from feeling energized and pissed to defeated and exhausted. I would love to go to bed right now, but the way my stomach is feeling, I don't think I want to go too far away from the toilet.

I just wish I could be happy. In a decent mood, at the very least. Anything but this horrible angry-all-the-time thing I've got going on.
Ever notice how when you're in a bad mood, it seems like everyone and everything around you goes to shit? When it rains, it pours. Murphy's law, hell, I don't know...Bad karma even!!

I thought the trip to Brainerd would help, I could feel it coming on shortly before then. I thought if I could get away for a few days, relax and enjoy myself...Might be just what I needed. It didn't help. It only blocked it out for 4 days. Same shit, different day.

I do not believe in depression. Not for me anyway. Other people can suffer from depression, that's fine if that's what they're doing, but I do not do that.
I'm in a funk, that's all.
As a wise woman told me, I just need to put on my big girl panties and get over it.
Thanks mom.
Just needed to vent a bit first.
Hopefully this and a good nights' sleep will do the trick.