I hate surprises

This is just a reminder (on my lunch hour) to finish this post... I'll know what it means when I get off work tonight, and I have time to finish it then... stop back later for the explanation!

OK, here it is... my mom has always said that she hates surprises, I always thought she was silly, surprises are WONDERFUL!! Maybe it's me getting older, maybe I am just becoming the big control freak that I was always meant to be... but I agree with her now... Surprises suck. Quite often, the surprise part is holy shit, I have to act like I LIKE IT... Surprise, time to act... grateful.

While Mom and I were in Chicago, JP decided to SURPRISE me. I hate to sound like a bitch, because I DO appreciate the effort and incredible amount of work he did... but the outcome isn't exactly...nice.

He decided to paint the kitchen cabinets. We had long ago talked about it, and I mentioned the color scheme I had in mind, even mentioning that I HAVE... IN MY POSSESSION the paint I wanted to use...

He could have surprised me with finishing THE GODDAMN TOOL ROOM. But no, that would involve the word "finish"... something he is obviously allergic to!

He painted the kitchen cabinets... ugly. They are 2 shades of grey... while the surrounding walls are shades of beige... and NO, HE DIDN'T FINISH this either. The knobs (which I bought with the beige paint in mind OVER 2 YEARS AGO) are beige, and the hinges need replacing no matter what.

It's like he wasted all this money (we OWN the paint I wanted to use, but he bought different) and now we have to pay MORE money to have matching knobs and pulls... I HAD knobs and pulls to match the PAINT WE ALREADY OWN...

Damn, I just feel like an ungrateful bitch. If only he had said "Nik, I was thinking of doing a project while you're gone, any suggestions?"

I would have said "Why don't you finish out the tool room, whatever shelving you want, pegboard, whatever, go nuts, have fun"

Instead... he did this.

I know, I know... bitch.

Tiny & Naughty

This is Tiny Sue. She is our cat. She's around 4 or 5 years old. She's got a bit of a weight problem. On Monday I went and picked up a Nautilus exerciser for her. The trainer's name is Nautilus, but we just call her Naughty.

I find it amusing that Tiny isn't tiny, Naughty is tiny, and Tiny is pissed. She is laying next to me right now, for the first time since I brought the cute little thing into the house. Tiny seems to be rebelling against the forced exercise. Naughty keeps going up to her, to make friends... Tiny isn't really in that place yet. If they could talk... THIS would be the conversation I hear meowed and hissed under the loveseat:

I love you, we are gonna be great friends!!

I hate you.

We can have such fun together!

Die.

** And yes, I chose Naughty mainly because of her coloring... I had originally hoped that JP would see a tabby and assume it's just Tiny... but since Naughty is about 1/3 of the size of Tiny... he didn't buy that for a second!

Shedd Aquarium

This was the one place I wish JP had been able to come with us to see. He loves saltwater fish tanks, and there was just a ton of cool stuff to see here.

The Ferris Bueller shot

Remember in Ferris' day off, they stood on the railing, leaned forward until their heads hit the glass and looked down?

This is what I saw when I did that.

The view from the top of the world

That's what they call it on the 99th floor of the Sears Tower. The elevator ride up was... really interesting. Ears popping, and the little numbers... the ones that show you what floor you're passing... the elevator was going so fast that it went up by 10's! 10th floor, 20th floor, 30th floor... The entire ride up took roughly 30 seconds. Mom and I went up alone, Steve and Mark had been up before. Of course they had a little gift shop at the top... I got a couple of Obama souvenirs there.

The place our money comes from!

This is the Federal Reserve Bank of Chicago. THIS is where the money we (we being my employer) 'order' comes from. I am such a dork, I was actually thinking about my coworkers while there, and insisted on stopping in subzero temperatures to snap these pictures!

One short day in the windy city

I'm sure I'll have a few posts of my trip to Chicago, and this is the first.

WICKED was nothing short of amazing, awesome and beautiful. It actually closed with a Sunday matinee, so our show was the final night... I am so glad we got to see it.

As you may know, our 44th president used to reside in Chicago. And that fact is the reason for this first photo.

Offer Update

I was able to clear my head and really think about this job while in Chicago.

I cannot take this risk. Right now I have a job that I know how to do, and I do it well. I could not afford to NOT work. Meaning, what if I took this job and then 5 months from now, either I hate it, or THEY hate me, or I just cannot do the job without MOUNTAINS of stress? I can't afford to quit any job. And right now, I think I just have to buckle down and get my financial world in order.

Tomorrow I will be posting pictures from Chicago. I have Monday AND Tuesday off work, plenty of time to rest up after an AMAZING weekend.

Also tomorrow I will be picking up Nautilus... or "Naughty" as we will be calling her. I am getting Tiny Sue her own personal trainer. Naughty is a 4 month old tabby kitten who is going to chase and play with Tiny until she looses some of that flab! And yes, before you ask, Naughty IS a rescue. I will post pics of my cats as soon as I can (I just love that I will be able to say this: My cats are Tiny and Naughty!!)

Now I have about 45 emails to get to, being offline since Wednesday night has been horrible, withdrawal symptoms are a bitch.

It wasn't an "interview", it was an offer meeting

I met tonight with my possible-new bosses. They were actually expecting me to make a decision tonight!

I told them that I was going to Chicago over the weekend, but I have next Monday and Tuesday off, and I would like to go down there and shadow their current bookkeeper and really get a feel for the job before I make a decision.

If I take the job, I would work at the bank until FRIDAY THE 13TH!! and then start the new job on Monday the 16th. That means that my final bank paycheck would arrive on the 28th of February and my first check from them would be on Mar 13th, for the full two weeks of work. And then every 2 weeks after that... same payday as JP. My next normal payday at the bank wouldn't be until the 15th of March. So it will fit in great with the budget. The hours are 8 to 4 Monday through Friday, NO WEEKENDS!!

So I will try to put this in the back of my mind for the weekend, enjoy my trip and not worry about it until Monday. Notice I said "try"... ha! fat chance!

Job Offer!

Well, isn't the world a weird little place...

Remember I first had a secret, didn't want to mention it, said I'd either say "shit" quietly or shout from the rooftops? Remember then 3 weeks or so later, I didn't say "shit", because I had a job interview, but thought that the job seemed a bit overwhelming, AND it didn't sound like they were willing to pay me enough to cover the commute??

I gave details the day I got the 'loser letter'... and didn't feel like a loser, either.

I got a call from them tonight. They told me that I was their 2nd choice (out of something like 24 applicants) and that their first choice had gotten a better offer somewhere else. Rather than open the floodgates and start the interview process all over again, they wanted to offer it to me, first.

He was very open and honest with me, so I returned the favor; told him that I was a bit overwhelmed after the interview... excited about the possibility, but, admittedly, without much experience, it WAS overwhelming.. and I also told him that I had gotten the impression that they weren't really able to offer me enough $$ to make it worth the commute. He and I talked a bit about that, about how at $X.xx per hour currently, but only about 35 hours per week... meh, not bad, but with them, it would be $X.xx (that's about 2 X's MORE per hour) and a guaranteed 40 (if not more) per week then it probably would be worth the commute.

I just don't know, it's SO out of the blue. I was just talking to my old classmate from college LAST NIGHT and told him that what I really wanted was a job where I could use my education, wear jeans to work and not feel like a leper if I said "shit"... and this job IS that.

Here's the scary part(s): what if I suck at it, what if I don't catch on as quick as they'd like, and they invite me to quit? (nice way of saying, what if they fire my ass?) Then I'm out of a job.

I'm really nervous about this, and JP is not being helpful, he won't listen to me try to talk it out... he just raises his eyebrow and grins as he walks away... jerk.

1-20-09 The end of an error

I wish I had thought ahead and asked for the day off... but then I would miss the whining of all my Republican co-workers.

I don't work until 9:30, so at least I can watch some of the festivities before I head in.

Have a great day everyone! I KNOW I will.

Finished

Last night between selling pull tabs and paying out winners, I finished "the book".

So there's that.

I still got it

Tonight at the bar (I was not drinking, I was selling pull tabs!) I took a smoke break, in Minnesota we have to go outside to smoke, so I grabbed my coat... it's a balmy 20 out there now, and as I walked out, I gave a little poke to a guy in the bar.

I know him, roughly, I know his name, and I know that he's a trouble maker when he's drunk. He has also been known to drop quite a bit of money in the pull tab jars. He knows me... roughly. He knows my name, and he knows that the manager of the bar is my mom.

It was just a "Hi, good to see you" type of poke...kind of a "hey, come spend some money on pull tabs" kind of poke... but the funny part was that when I got outside to light up, he was behind me. He took the hello poke as a 'follow me' and he did...

like a puppy.

so that was nice... in a funny 'men are weak' sort of way...

My son is NOT a genius...

And I'm perfectly okay with that. He's a good kid, and with a little prodding, he DOES try his best.
Today was the end of the semester for Alex, his first year in the high school. He will be passing all his classes. I know, you're thinking ' yeah? big deal, isn't that what he's SUPPOSED to do??'

He was slacking, not turning in work, and with a good ass-chewing from me and his grandma, he's made a turn around, and will end up with 'good enough for now' grades, instead of D's and F's.

But most of all, he's a decent kid. At 15, he does not talk back to me, he would never swear at me or act out like an angry obnoxious teen. He's funny, and he's fun. And maybe, just maybe he's finally learned that high school IS important... I hope.

Do you hate standing in lines?

Want to know WHY there's always a line? I mean a line at the bank, the post office, the grocery store, the freakin' DMV!! Anywhere there's a line, and you're pissed off about standing IN it, it's YOUR OWN DAMN FAULT!

Here's the logic behind that: You THINK that the reason you're waiting is because of the dumbass in front of you who's taking too long... well guess what? To the person BEHIND you, YOU are the dumbass!

If you come up to the teller window with no deposit slip (even though they are provided in the lobby!) or if you bother to grab one from the lobby but don't stop to FILL IT OUT before you get in line, then it's YOUR FAULT it takes the teller so long to do your transactions. And to the people behind you... yup, you guessed it, YOU are the dumbass.

People, PLEASE, stop being dumbasses.

The bright side

So here I am on my day off... the Christmas tree and all decorations are down, boxed up, waiting for their new home, and the last load of laundry is in the dryer. And I didn't even just lazy out and shove all the previous loads on the laundry table, either, I folded them AND PUT THEM AWAY!! So I am feeling very accomplished today. I even took a break and grabbed lunch and took it over to Mom at the bar, had lunch with her.

So (have you noticed that I 'say' that alot? So?... and yes, I DO say it, because I type what I think, and since normally, I would SAY what I think, I guess I must say SO quite a bit... damn, that's annoying)

So anyway (FUCK!)

Since I got everything pretty much done that I intended to with my day off, I decided that I deserve a little bloggy break. And I got to thinking about trying to see the bright side of things. With our depressing weather (a HIGH of NEGATIVE 10 TODAY!!) and all the clouds, no sunshine, it's easy to fall into a funk... not necessarily a clinical depression, just a serious case of the mopes... the blahs... and with those comes the ease of focusing on the negative.

I am trying to catch myself before I get too far down that path.
But I AM reasonable, and I KNOW who I am, and how I think, so I can't just be Miss Suzy Sunshine, I have to address the negative, but FOCUS on the positive.

So here's my analysis of " The bright side vs the dark side"

1. We have WAAAAY too much debt. One of my resolutions was to decrease that, while NOT incurring any more. As you may recall, we went out on NEW YEAR'S DAY, resolution only hours old, and broke that one into about 1500 pieces. Why 1500? Easy, because that's how much the new dishwasher (which we needed) and the new double ovens (which we technically could have waited to replace) cost: $1500.

But the bright side is that we have those things now. The ovens are incredible, LOVE THEM, and the dishwasher is lovely. I do not yet know how to USE it... not my job, but JP read the manual, and taught Alex how to use it, and that's the important thing! HE says it's great!

2. Maybe JP and I are feeling the effects of the winter funk, (I could say that, but it's been going on too long for that to be the real issue here) but he and I are just not in sync right now. Being completely honest, I have some resentment issues, and it's real hard to feel cuddly and lovey with a man that you resent. Why I resent him is two part. One, I have no problem sharing, it's the snoring, or rather, his unwillingness to try to stop it. The second part of the resentment makes me feel like a big ol' bitch. But I'm gonna tell ya anyway, cuz those of you who have known me long enough already know that I AM a big ol' bitch, so what's a little more fuel to that particular fire, right?
Remember last summer, I lost a bunch of weight? 25 pounds to be exact. Now, I admit, I haven't been going to the gym since it got so FRIGGIN' COLD here, but I have maintained that weight loss, for the most part (I HAVE gained back 5 lbs from my "low") and I am very proud of that, and I feel pretty good about myself, and how I look, for the first time in a very long time.
Meanwhile, there's the hubby. What I have lost, he has found. I asked him if he wanted to join me at the gym, he was never interested. It's not that I don't find my husband attractive, I do, I think he is gorgeous. I guess the unattractive part is his lack of 'give a shit'... I was getting big, I did something about it. He just doesn't seem to give a shit.

But, to see the bright side, he and I love each other very much, and this spring we will celebrate our 16th wedding anniversary. In this day and age, it's a rare thing. We have made it through much worse than a little belly fat, and I KNOW this too shall pass. JP and I, we ARE in it for the long haul... we will be together til death do us part... that much I know.

So while I COULD wallow in the dark side, I am TRYING to see the bright side of things, even though I just said 'so' again... like those girls that have conversations:

"I know! I asked him what's up, and he was all 'I dunno' and I was all ' you should know' "

"And then I was like "are you kidding me?" and he was like 'no way, no kidding' and I'm like 'you are kidding'

People aren't LIKE talking... they ARE TALKING. THEY SAY WORDS, THEY DON'T like WORDS!!

There, a good vs evil post plus a bonus vent/bitch at the end... for your reading pleasure!

What a weekend!

I'm finally getting a chance to update here, sorry 'bout that.

My dad came to visit, got up here (from 5 hours South) Friday about 4. JP was gone, he had guards this weekend. As you may know, my Mom lives with us. As you may or may not know, my mom and dad have been divorced for... 19 years... yeah, that's right. They were married for 19 years, and now they've been divorced for 19 years. Dad remarried, as I MAY have mentioned... Satan.

ANYWHOO... so Dad came up to visit... ALONE! We chatted for awhile, then decided to go over to Mom's bar to play bar bingo. Mom came with. My mom and dad get along great, not uncomfortable or awkward at all.

Mom was the DD, so dad and I got to have a few drinks... and a few more. We were still back at the house by 10:30, but we stayed up drinking and talking... the 3 of us... until 2:30 am, when mom kicked us out of her room, because she had to work in the morning. So dad and I went upstairs and continued our conversations... until shortly after 4 am. My face hurt from laughing so much.

We had a really great time.

Emma had a hockey game Saturday night and Sunday afternoon, too. They lost both games. It's what they call a "building year"... whatever, these girls are not playing as a team, and they need better coaching. I wish JP would realize that he could be a great coach. He says he doesn't have the patience...

I have tomorrow off work, time to take down the Christmas tree and clean up around here. That's the plan anyway... I could end up lounging in bed all day... but that's what a day off is for.

Next weekend I have to work at the bank AND the bar. But it's good, since JP and Emma will be gone. She's got a tournament in... Roseau or International Falls... somewhere North. Working both jobs will make the time go by faster. Plus, getting some tip money the weekend before going to Chicago is a great thing!

Return of the veriegated wegela

Ah, hope springs eternal...

The variegated wegelas are back... at least, pictures of them are back.
The girls at work started getting their seed catalogs. I do not have a green thumb. I have a black thumb. But I like to look through the catalogs at all the pretty flowers. My favorite? The variegated wegela, of course...

Why? Let's be honest, it's a funny name. It's fun to say.
Try it. Variegated Wegela. See?

And the fact that they are pretty, well, that's just icing on the wegela!

But the point is, where the wegelas are, spring cannot be far behind.

A post a day keeps the doctor away

Believe it?
No?
Well, look at this... it is the 6th of January, and this is my 6th blog post... and LO AND BEHOLD!
No doctors needed... know why? Cuz I'm not sick. I'm not injured. Because I blog? Perhaps... perhaps not. But the facts remain...

Ok, enough goofin' around.

Isn't it weird when you go to your MSN homepage (or whatever your homepage of choice is) and read your horoscope (don't we ALL have our horoscopes on our homepages??) and the stuff in the horoscope fits EXACTLY with your life on that very day?
weird...

Know what else is weird? My cat, Tiny Sue. As I may have mentioned, she has a bit of a weight problem... well, quite by accident, we found something to get her moving. Not just moving, but hopping, excited, working up a sweat!
earplugs. Yeah, you read it right. She's got a serious jones for my earplugs. She will crawl across my lap, step gingerly onto my bedside table and pick one up and then spew it from her mouth onto the bedspread... only to chase and bat and bite it all over before it finally falls on the floor. She then pounces on it on the floor and bats it about on the floor until she finally loses it under bookshelf or cabinet.
weird...

Not just a dork

I am a DOUBLE dork...

After I went bowling tonight, (bowled a 159, a 151 & a 130) I came home and crawled in to bed and got busy with my coin collection...

Yeah, THAT IS how big of a dork I am.

I ordered some coin pocket pages last week and they arrived today. I had been using Ziploc baggies and there were a ton of them. Working at a bank, and getting some from Steven, I have quite a few coins, mostly foreign, and several are very old.

I'm sure they either are now, or will be someday, worth quite a bit.

Off to a helluva start this year... resolution-wise... sarcasm gang! It's been too damn cold to go to the gym. First thing on New Year's day we went and bought (on credit, but NOT the Discover card) a new dishwasher and double ovens for the kitchen. I DID finish filling out the application for Survivor, but I haven't gotten the video done yet... and it's due a week from Wednesday.

At least I didn't resolve to quit smoking... because then I'd really feel like a failure!
Ha.

The sun will come out

TOMORROW, TOMORROW!! I love ya, tomorrow...

I'm so excited for tomorrow. The kids FINALLY go back to school. JP's parents are leaving tomorrow, everything goes back to NORMAL tomorrow. It feels like the holidays lasted forever. I'm just glad it's all over now.

So remember a few weeks ago, I said something about something that I couldn't talk about just yet? Well now I can. I had applied for a bookkeeping job. But during the interview I realized that not only did I probably not want that particular job, but also that they were not willing to pay me enough to make it worth the longer commute. I mention it now because on Saturday I got my 'loser letter'. That's what I call the "thanks but no thanks" letters they send out to the applicants who did not get the job. Except in this case, I don't really look at it as a loser letter, because I don't feel like a loser for not getting that job. I am not disappointed at all with this one. It was a good chance to work up my resume and it's always a good idea to have practice at interviews...

The search will continue.

Changes

Fear of change is something that alot of people suffer from.

Fear of change can make a person keep a shitty job.
Fear of change can make a person stay in a loveless marriage.
Fear of change can make a person not try to accomplish something.
Fear of change can make a person stay in a geographical location that is TOO DAMN COLD. And full of TOO DAMN MUCH SNOW!

Worried ya, didn't I? Did you have a moment of "Oh, hell, Nik's gone and quit her job and left her husband!"

Nope, just sick and tired of blizzards. I loved New Orleans. I would LOVE to live there... oh, shit, they have hurricanes. Pensacola Beach was nice, but again, hurricanes. How about somewhere just south enough to NOT have snow, or at least not MUCH snow... but not too close to a coast. Wait, wouldn't that be right in the middle of tornado alley?

Sunuva bitch, there is just no decent place in this country. I'm not asking for perfect, SOME snow is okay, I could even handle temps down to zero. But 5 feet of snow and an average monthly temp of NEGATIVE 5??? Gawd, Minnesota sucks.

EDIT: I forgot to mention, it would have to be a blue state, and I'd rather not pick up a goofy accent after living there awhile. I prefer my midwest "standard" dialect. Not that I'd really ever get to relocate... I stay with JP, and he stays with his job... here... where hell is freezing over.

sleeping arrangements

JP's parents are here for the weekend. JP and I have disagreements about the sleeping arrangements when they visit. I do not think it's okay for he and I to give them our bedroom. Why?... think I sound like a selfish bitch? Well, I don't know exactly how to explain it. It's OUR bed, it's very personal, it's our personal space. It's not like I have to spend an entire afternoon hiding the porn and dismantling the sex swing... it's the fact that our bedroom is OURS, it is not a hotel room, it is not a guest room, and I feel creepy about someone else sleeping in OUR bed.

I told JP that I would personally, out of MY paycheck get them into a hotel. Not happening, there's a hockey tournament in town. Shit. We avoided the subject as long as possible, then JP came up with a (brilliant!) solution: Eric's bedroom. He's got a queen sized bed, compliments of Alex's sneaking out last summer, Eric got Alex's bedroom, and we did not switch beds, so Eric has the biggest bedroom and the best bed of all the kids. We had Eric clean up his room (didn't take long, he's pretty clean) and made up the bed with fresh sheets, and VOILA! I'm in MY bed, happy.

Resolved

I have to... it's like a law or something.

So here's the "plan":

I'm going to get back to the gym, but that is SUCH a cliche of a resolution. But mine is not so much about losing weight or getting in to shape. I'm (fairly) happy with my current shape. No, mine is about the money... of course. I resolve to go to the gym enough to NOT pay full price for my membership. That's 12 times per month. If I go 12 times per month, I only pay $5.12 instead of $32.12 for my monthly membership. Money motivates me, that's the deal.

I resolve to STOP using my Discover card. Only to pay money TO them, not to borrow money FROM them. Easy enough, just put the card away.

I resolve to finish "the book" and think real hard about doing something with it.

I resolve to have more sex with my husband (sorry mom, sometimes you read things you may not want to, but it IS my blog, and MY resolution) Having sex makes your hormones and endorphins, and crap want MORE sex, and that can't possibly be wrong...

And finally, I resolve to make a video and submit my application to Survivor. I have 2 weeks. The deadline is January 14. If I want to quit my job (and I do) and pay off my mortgage (and I do) the only way to accomplish that without another 28 years of payments is to win Survivor. Hell, even second place, after taxes could probably knock off this mortgage. It's not huge, little town in Minnesota, we're not talking about a half million dollar mortgage here... but it IS enough to require me to keep my job.

Anybody else want to publicly announce their intentions for the new year?