There's no place like home

I'm finally updating, after the long drive home, I needed a few days to recover. We left Hattiesburg around 3 in the afternoon on Monday. We drove straight through. With some bad weather, we arrived home at almost 6 on Tuesday night. I am not able to sleep in a moving vehicle. So I was awake for roughly 38 hours. I went to bed Tuesday around 9, and had to work at 8 a.m. Wednesday. I was a zombie. Completely worthless.

The kids all had a ton of make-up work to do for school. Mom and I worked with them last night from 4 to supper time, then back at it after supper until almost 10. Tonight isn't quite as bad, but they still all had plenty to do before supper.

JP called last night. He says they will be heading out on Saturday. I don't even know how to express how much it hurts my heart. I just don't want him to go. I hate not getting my way. He told me that they were learning some new things yesterday. They learned how to put an IV into someone. They learned a bunch of basic medical things. I started to cry when he told me about it, because it suddenly hit me that he is going somewhere where he really may need to use that knowledge. Or have it used on him.

I am still trying to recover from my lack of sleep. I'm just glad that my ankles have gone back down to their original size. After all that time in the KIA, they were enormous.

Having mom here has already proven to be the right place at the right time. Who would I talk to, who's shoulder would I literally cry on if she were not here? She says she doesn't know what to do for me, what to do to help me. She doesn't understand that she's already doing it. Just be here. Let me keep a thin film of denial over my eyes, but pull it back once in a while in small controlled amounts. And be there when I freak out at the reality.