since you been gone

outta my head, can't take it... sorry, heard that song on the radio coming home from mom's today.
We left Hailey and Comet at home, Gina came and puppy sat for me. Friday after work we went as far as St. Cloud. We managed to get a bit done Friday night, sorting things into keep, sell or toss. Saturday morning I got Emma and Eric up early, and they went with me to Albert Lea for the memorial service for Ray's mom. I knew I would be getting a phone call from JP sometime that day, and didn't want to be with them when the call came in. He was going to call when they left Shelby and started their long drive/flight to Iraq.

We left A.L. early, about 1 in the afternoon. I got the call from JP at 2:26, as I was on I-94 north of the Cities. As soon as I saw his name on the cell, I started crying. He was sitting on a bus waiting to head out to Gulfport. From there, they were flying to Maine, and after fueling, over to Germany. Then to Kuwait. I cried a bit, not too bad just talking to him, but at the end when I have to say the word "goodbye" THAT'S when it gets tough. For some reason, that word just chokes me up. He called again around 5:30 from the hanger in Gulfport, and again shortly after 11pm from the terminal in Bangor, Maine. That was it. Nothing now until he gets settled in his new "home".

The one nice thing was that today, after our last phone call last night, I was so busy with mom and her stuff that I didn't have time to think much about it until we started driving home. I had Emma and Eric with me, Alex was in the truck with mom. The kids kept busy, quiet and to themselves, which gave me all sorts of time to do nothing but think. Then, of course, certain songs on a CD or even the radio would cause me to burst into tears.

But then we got back here and there were 2 vehicles to unload, supper to make, laundry to move, and I find myself finally with a few minutes again, and I am trying to stay busy so I don't have time to cry. I know eventually I will completely let go and have a good cry, but not today, I don't have time.

Speaking of not having time, now I have to go move some more laundry, and get things ready for tomorrow. The kids all need showers tonight, and homework has to be checked and put away. It's only a little after 7 and I could go to bed at any time. I remember this from Bosnia, I was sleeping alot, maybe trying to do a Rip Van Winkle... not a bad idea.

So the countdown begins... 364 days until he returns. I have it marked on the calendar on my fridge, so I will always know how many days, and I also have the weeks listed too.
Too many, that's all.