What a pain in the mouth!

Chewing is really a wonderful thing. People take it for granted. When it hurts to chew, say, because you have these metal brackets attached to each tooth with a wire running between them pulling your teeth in directions they don't want to go... it can be a bit painful.

The kids have been doing great on their homework and chores. Thanks to mom, of course. She drives them much better than I do. I just don't have the energy she does. Some days I feel older than she is.

JP and I have a great system worked out for talking to each other. He calls, lets it ring once, then hangs up. Then I use my phone card and call him back. Last night around 10, just as I was about to curl up in bed, the bedside phone rang once. How nice to be able to talk to him just before I snuggled down to sleep. He can't say too much, no details of anything, even something as trivial as his living conditions. He was able to tell me that he saw camels yesterday. Of course, when we talk at night here, he's just gotten up at 4-5 a.m. the next morning. So as I'm getting ready for bed, I ask him "So what did you do today?" he can reply with "Nothing, I just woke up!"

Our friend Nancy is coming down to mom's to see us this weekend. We will probably have a few drinks to say goodbye. Alex will be the only kid along, and we are thinking of bringing Zoey and my "little" Comet, too. Nancy loves our goldens, and she hasn't seen Comet since she was just a little bugger. She is now the biggest of the 4 dogs. And such beautiful golden blond curls! She really is georgous. And such a well behaved girl, too. And very smart. She learns things very quickly. She can sit, stay, come, heel, shake, and she understands commands like "Get out of the kitchen" and "Go lay down" and "Kennel" which is something she is hearing less of. The kennel used to be her bed, and her daytime place when nobody was home. Now that she's older (and bigger) she is gaining my trust, and can be loose in the house.

Well, time to crack the whip, kids are goofing around, and there are chores to be finished up, and tests to study for. A mother's job is never done... just ask mine! She is the best ever. Best mom, Best friend, Best child wrangler... you name it, she's the best at it!!

Not so long

I was really worried that it would be weeks before I heard from JP. Last night at 11, as I was about to drift off to sleep, he called from Kuwait. I forgot the main rule about calls like that ALWAYS SAY YOUR 'I LOVE YOU's AT THE BEGINNING OF THE CALL!! You never know when you will get cut off. I forgot, we didn't say it, and we got cut off. I went to sleep in tears.

He called my cell phone this morning. As luck would have it, I was standing right next to it, even though I was at work, and I grabbed it and told my boss"Sorry, it's my husband, don't be an ass" and walked away. He was calling to give me the best news. He found a way for his cell phone to still work over there. He has some kind of plan that has 60 minutes of calling time, but 200 minutes of incoming call time. So I went and bought an international calling card, and in a few minutes, I will use it and see if I can call my husband.

I had a pretty crappy day at work, but when I got home, even though I was very tired, the kids were working away on their chores, and their homework. It inspired me to push through the exhaustion and get my laundry done, go to the grocery store, and run out to cellone and cancel JP's cell modem hookup.

Tomorrow morning I will be getting metal glued to my teeth. (How do they really put them on? Is it glue?) I guess it's a small price to pay (NO, it isn't!) in the big picture of life, this is a short time to have to deal with braces.

I'm going to go make a phone call now before I go to bed, and see if I can wake my husband up. I think they're about 9 hours ahead of us.

since you been gone

outta my head, can't take it... sorry, heard that song on the radio coming home from mom's today.
We left Hailey and Comet at home, Gina came and puppy sat for me. Friday after work we went as far as St. Cloud. We managed to get a bit done Friday night, sorting things into keep, sell or toss. Saturday morning I got Emma and Eric up early, and they went with me to Albert Lea for the memorial service for Ray's mom. I knew I would be getting a phone call from JP sometime that day, and didn't want to be with them when the call came in. He was going to call when they left Shelby and started their long drive/flight to Iraq.

We left A.L. early, about 1 in the afternoon. I got the call from JP at 2:26, as I was on I-94 north of the Cities. As soon as I saw his name on the cell, I started crying. He was sitting on a bus waiting to head out to Gulfport. From there, they were flying to Maine, and after fueling, over to Germany. Then to Kuwait. I cried a bit, not too bad just talking to him, but at the end when I have to say the word "goodbye" THAT'S when it gets tough. For some reason, that word just chokes me up. He called again around 5:30 from the hanger in Gulfport, and again shortly after 11pm from the terminal in Bangor, Maine. That was it. Nothing now until he gets settled in his new "home".

The one nice thing was that today, after our last phone call last night, I was so busy with mom and her stuff that I didn't have time to think much about it until we started driving home. I had Emma and Eric with me, Alex was in the truck with mom. The kids kept busy, quiet and to themselves, which gave me all sorts of time to do nothing but think. Then, of course, certain songs on a CD or even the radio would cause me to burst into tears.

But then we got back here and there were 2 vehicles to unload, supper to make, laundry to move, and I find myself finally with a few minutes again, and I am trying to stay busy so I don't have time to cry. I know eventually I will completely let go and have a good cry, but not today, I don't have time.

Speaking of not having time, now I have to go move some more laundry, and get things ready for tomorrow. The kids all need showers tonight, and homework has to be checked and put away. It's only a little after 7 and I could go to bed at any time. I remember this from Bosnia, I was sleeping alot, maybe trying to do a Rip Van Winkle... not a bad idea.

So the countdown begins... 364 days until he returns. I have it marked on the calendar on my fridge, so I will always know how many days, and I also have the weeks listed too.
Too many, that's all.

There's no place like home

I'm finally updating, after the long drive home, I needed a few days to recover. We left Hattiesburg around 3 in the afternoon on Monday. We drove straight through. With some bad weather, we arrived home at almost 6 on Tuesday night. I am not able to sleep in a moving vehicle. So I was awake for roughly 38 hours. I went to bed Tuesday around 9, and had to work at 8 a.m. Wednesday. I was a zombie. Completely worthless.

The kids all had a ton of make-up work to do for school. Mom and I worked with them last night from 4 to supper time, then back at it after supper until almost 10. Tonight isn't quite as bad, but they still all had plenty to do before supper.

JP called last night. He says they will be heading out on Saturday. I don't even know how to express how much it hurts my heart. I just don't want him to go. I hate not getting my way. He told me that they were learning some new things yesterday. They learned how to put an IV into someone. They learned a bunch of basic medical things. I started to cry when he told me about it, because it suddenly hit me that he is going somewhere where he really may need to use that knowledge. Or have it used on him.

I am still trying to recover from my lack of sleep. I'm just glad that my ankles have gone back down to their original size. After all that time in the KIA, they were enormous.

Having mom here has already proven to be the right place at the right time. Who would I talk to, who's shoulder would I literally cry on if she were not here? She says she doesn't know what to do for me, what to do to help me. She doesn't understand that she's already doing it. Just be here. Let me keep a thin film of denial over my eyes, but pull it back once in a while in small controlled amounts. And be there when I freak out at the reality.

First day in FLA

Our first day in Florida can be described in one word... although I will ellaborate. That one word? LOBSTERS. Our milky white Minnesota skin is in shock after months of not seeing the sun... too much of a good thing too quickly. Bring on the aloe!!

We started the day slowly. Lounged in bed, kept the kids waiting. They wanted beach and they wanted it NOW! We finally got it together and walked down to the public beach area. The first hour or so was spent OOO-ing and WOWing over found shells in the surf. The kids were thrilled to hear that I would allow them to bring some home. Then the piling began. I have reminded them several times today that we will go through the shells at the end of the trip, and narrow down the selections. There is no way we are bringing 35 lbs of shells back to Minnesota. First off, where the hell would we put them? The KIA is very packed, especially when we get JP in there, too. It was tight on the way down, but it was almost unbearable from Mississippi to here. We are off now, after dinner. It's St. Patrick's Day, and were going to sit outside and have a few drinks. Right here at the hotel, keep the kids as far away from the drinking spring breakers as possible. Skanky lookin' girls and guys who think they are God's gift to the female anatomy are just not what my kids need to see too much of. Wow, I'm getting old, I actually scowled at some guys today for their potty mouths in front of my kids.

We went to a crab shack for lunch, then back to the hotel where the kids jumped in the pool for the hottest part of the day, stayed in shady areas. Late afternoon was back to the beach, more shells. We were all pretty red by then. We came back to the hotel and cleaned up, then went to dinner. That brings us to now

The trip is costing alot, but I knew it would. I am trying not to worry, but I can't help it. I know what it's going to be like when I get home, back to reality, and I don't think JP has a concept of it. I doubt he's thinking of it, I don't blame him. But I'm about ready to start ordering soup and water for my meals to balance everything out. Maybe I'm just being paranoid, but I would rather be paranoid than wrong, and screwed in debt here.

Time to crack open a Mike's and enjoy the night air, it is lovely.

FLORIDA BABY!!

After a few days of crappy Mississippi, we headed to Florida last night. We arrived in the dark, found our hotel, got some drinks, sat by the pool and just relaxed. The kids' main concern was getting into their suits and jumping in the pool. It was chilly, they said, but worth it!

Today should be better, it's already in the upper 70's, and it's only 8:30 in the morning. I don't know yet what our plans are for the day, a whole lot of relaxing, I'm sure. I do know that the kids want to walk on the beach and collect shells. We should do that soon, before they're all gone, picked clean by other visitors. But I just can't seem to get JP out of bed. I think he's finally realized that he can rest and be a lazy bum. After so long with Army idiots telling him what to do and when to do it, I figured it would take him a day or so to get used to doing his own thing in his own time again. I'm willing to let him, too. It's nice to see him so relaxed. He deserves it.

Our hotel is pretty decent. That was my biggest worry. I had found them online, and even tho they had pics, I was worried that it was misleading etc. Turns out it's pretty nice here. Both rooms have little kitchenettes, so we can do a little cooking here, save some money that way. All the beds have those memory foam mattresses, very nice. It's a little "spring break"y here though, some people above Gina and the kids were up all night partying. I think my kids need to be loud and have fun at the pool early this morning. It's right outside all the rooms, in the center of the motel. I'm sure those hung over drunks won't mind 3 loud kids... jerks.

Obviously, our hotel also has internet, so I should be able to post each night of our vacation. It will be nice to have it here to look back on when I miss him alot. Right now he is on the bed behind me watching that show on TLC that he likes. I almost wish this motel didn't have TVs in the room. When we were in Mexico, our hotel didn't have one, and it was nice. JP and I spent more time together, out there doing things. I worry that he will want to spend a ton of time in here vegging in front of the TV. But then again, is he sitting there wishing I'd get my ass off the computer?
gotta go!

I Do, Again

I picked up my wedding ring today. If possible, I think it's even more beautiful. Maybe it's just because it's so clean. It hasn't been for a long time. They replaced the Tiffany setting for the main diamond, and replaced the missing one with the one from mom and dad. They also fixed the prongs on the six outer diamonds, so they won't pop out either. Then they soldered the sides down, one side had bent up years ago, and of course I didn't do anything about it.
I just can't stop looking at it. I forgot how beautiful it was, I'm so happy to have it back.

I helped Emma get packed today. Her bag is done, and now is in my room, so she can't add any unnecessary items to it. I already took out a bunch of crap that was just taking up space. And she hadn't packed enough clothes either, so I helped her pick out a few other things to bring along. I did the same with Eric, he's just got one pair of jeans in the dryer that need to go into his bag, then he's done, too.
I have mine pretty much done, just a few last minute things I need to add. I also have a bag just for bathroom things, and I will pack that Sunday after I shower and use it.

I have to get the maps together yet, and the printouts from the hotels. I have a little booklet ready for that, to keep it all together in the KIA. I also cleaned that out today, while the girls were outside playing. I have to get the cooler out there, make sure we can plug that in the AC outlet somewhere without having a cord running across the kids. I have to go to the grocery store tomorrow to pick up the last minute things, I thought Lunchables would be good for the kids for lunches, small, entirely garbage when done, easy to fit in the cooler.

I have to bring the budget book along, since a payday falls in there. How nice, to sit on the beach, sipping a daquiri and pay bills. I guess it beats sitting HERE and doing it.

Maybe I'll add more later, JP is on IM now...

I talked to JP a bit. After this many years together, I'm amazed at how much we think alike. He told me I should shovel snow away from the house on the west side, to help minimize the flooding. I had already had Alex out there doing it on Thursday. That happens alot, he suggests something that I've already done, or checked into. Like the proof of insurance and vehicle registration for the KIA that I will need to show at the gate to Camp Shelby. I knew that from the Thanksgiving visit, so I had already checked into it, and yes, I have the paper. He asked yesterday if I could find it. It's just another indication that he and I belong together. We think alike.

Did you hear that Army??? He and I BELONG TOGETHER!! STOP FUCKING WITH IT!! He and I were meant to be together, not hundreds of miles apart only able to communicate by computer or telephone. I know that he had the military before he had me, but one day, one day very soon, he will tell you to screw off, and he will spend the rest of his life with me. I win.

Bad reports, bad day

Tonight was conferences for all 3 kids.
I went to Alex's first. There isn't much improvement to report. But there will be. I talked with Mrs. Harrier and Mr. Zamzo, his homeroom teacher and his math teacher. We are working on a plan to involve me more, using the internet and emails and somehow I feel like I'm taking the 6th grade all over again. Well, whatever it takes, just so Alex doesn't have to take the 6th grade over again!
Eric was next. His spelling is still a concern, his reading has greatly improved, and his temper issues came to a head just yesterday. I am working with the councelor to get Eric seen by a child psychologist first, and if that's not the problem, then it's off to see a medical doctor. I don't know if it's an emotional problem or a chemical imbalance, but it has to be fixed, and soon.
My last visit was with Emma's teacher and the school speech therapist. Emma is reading at a grade and a half above her current grade level. Her science needs a bit more at home attention, and her attention span is lacking, usually after a visit from or to daddy. Mrs. Moen noticed it in September, right after JP left, and again in January after he left. She is concerned that this trip to see him next week will send her back into her downward spiral. Also when Emma returns to school, she will start seeing the speech therapist twice a week to work on her "r"s and her "s"s. right now she sounds like a combination of Elmer Fudd and Cindy Brady.
All in all, it was a hideous night. Not even mentioning Comet peeing on the rug because I was running all over for conferences and forgot to get the girls outside.

And then there's the spring thaw in the downstairs bedroom. The room mom was about to move into. Thank god she hadn't yet, or we'd have to move her OUT before we could do any repairs. The carpet will have to come up and most likely some of the drywall will have to come off. I don't know why things happen like this when he leaves... Murphy's Law kicking my butt yet again.

I did get one bit of happy today. I got my scooby doo watch in the mail. It's perfect. Oh, and since JP, mom and Tamie are the only ones who read this, I guess it's ok to mention the other thing I got today that made me happy. Got a visit from bitchy aunt flo, so at least she will be gone by next Tuesday when I see JP. She will not be joining us on the beaches of Florida!! YIPPEE!

The kids don't have school tomorrow, and I work a short shift in the morning. I'm going to get some errands run tomorrow, including getting the KIA in for her physical. I didn't hear from the jewelry store about my ring today, so I'm going to stop in tomorrow when I get off work to see if it's done. I want it done so I can wear it down to see him.

I have to go to bed, I work at 6 a.m. Someday my life will be normal. Someday my life will be calm. Someday my life will be uneventful. If I keep saying it, maybe I will believe it.

Good Report

I got an A from the dentist today. And a green light for my braces on the 28th...yippee. Alex got a good report, too. He has 6 baby teeth left, and 4 of them are either very loose, or will be coming out shortly. No cavities, though, good boy! Emma has one little cavity on a baby tooth. It's not a tooth that's coming out soon, so Dr. Erik suggested a filling. Eric has a cavity between 2 of his baby teeth, also not coming out soon, so two fillings are required there. I will call tomorrow to make their appointments.

I called today to make the KIA's check up before the big drive. She will go in Friday afternoon for an oil change, tire rotation, fluid fill, everything they can think of! I wonder if they do cleaning, too! Interior detailing would be great!

My wedding ring should be done tomorrow. The lady at the jeweler's was very impressed with the diamond I brought in to have set in my ring. It was the diamond that dad picked for mom over 35 years ago. She said he had very good taste, it was "an exquisite stone, virtually flawless". I think dad should know that. Plus I think he deserves to know that the diamond will now be worn every day by a woman he loves... as he intended it to be.

I had a message on my voicemail tonight from my aunt Diane. She had tried to call mom, but her phone has been disconnected. I never call her land line, so I guess she decided she didn't need it anymore. Diane was hoping that mom was up here already. Mom had told me that Diane was wondering when mom's auction would be, that she would like to come up for it. I hope she doesn't find out when it is. I understand mom's feeling on this one. I would be a bit hurt by that request, too. Diane never managed to make it up to mom's when things were going well, to celebrate the family get-together last summer. But now, when mom is at a low point in her life, Diane is eager to come and watch like some disgusting rubber-necker at a car accident. I'm sure Diane does not mean it that way, but I can see how it looks like that to mom.

JP called tonight. I think he's getting anxious. He already talked me into leaving a day sooner than I had originally planned. I think if he had his way, we'd be there NOW.
Today is the 15 year anniversary of JP's and my first date. I love him so much, he remembered. He knew what the day was, and he knows it is a very special day to me. If nothing else in my life, at least I can say I met and married the original Mr. Right.

I've decided to wait to leave McDonald's until the kids get out of school. Their last day is Friday, May 26th. I'm pretty sure that will be my last day there. Hopefully by then I will have more information on Menard's. Or maybe a little info on the tech school and their accounting classes. Wow, I will look silly, braces and college... middle aged men get convertibles and little blond bimbo arm candies to go through their midlife crises, I go the metal mouth co-ed geek route. I think somehow I'm getting the shaft!

Hailey and Comet need to go out and I need to go to bed. Hopefully JP will let me use his laptop next week so I can update this while we are in Mississippi and Florida.

Counting the days

I think it's a good thing that I've got so much going on this week, otherwise I think the week would take forever to get done! Tomorrow the kids and I have dentist's appointments. Thursday night I have conferences for all 3 kids. Friday is the Parent's game with the U10 girls. Saturday is, I think, the final hockey game. We aren't sure because we don't know if Bagley even has a team! If they do, we will play them, if not, our girls have the ice, so maybe a rematch against the parents!

Mom is coming up on Thursday with a load of stuff, spending the night, then taking Alex back with her. They will spend the day Friday packing stuff up, then come back up here on Saturday. We have two weekends after we get back from Florida before her auction, and I think we will spend those weekends down at her place, packing, sorting and cleaning. I'd love it if either mom's tax woman or someone who comes to the auction would make an offer on her house. Even better- how about a bidding war between tax lady and some random auction attendee! I know it would make her sad, but I think the load off her shoulders and mind (not to mention budget!) would more than make up for that.

I have started packing, clothes and kids' fun bag stuff. I still want to make a packet of things like driving directions, hotel information and the Shelby itinerary. I let Gina drive the KIA last night. Sort of a practice run. I think she will be fine. I was even able to make a couple of cell calls while she was driving.

I'm a little worried about my girls being naughty for mom. I know how Hailey likes to run off before coming in for the kids. I think she does it to the kids because they rush the girls. Mom knows better. I'm also hoping that Zoey and Kate will help keep my girls in line.

I can't wait to see him. Just to see him and throw my arms around his neck and kiss him. I know I will have to wait my turn though... the kids can run faster than me! I worry a little about Gina feeling left out of the whole "family" thing. But the kids just love her, and she does understand what her role in this trip is, hell, she suggested it!

We leave in 5 days. I will be in his arms in less than 7 days (its 7 days from today... minus about 10 hours!!) I miss him so much that it hurts. Well, normally, it hurts, this week, it's just incredible excitement... I can't wait!!

Hockey tournament

The end of the tournament, finally! The girls played 3 games, 2 yesterday and one today. They lost all 3. And yet, at the end, when they were presented with their medals, they were the happiest girls I've ever seen. They have 2 practices this week, and the Parent's game is Friday night. I know Emma wishes her daddy could be there for that. I hope I will do. Their last game is Saturday. Then hockey season is over!!

I didn't get to see her Saturday tournament games, I have been sick. I would drop her off at the door, go home and go to bed. I'd set an alarm to get up and be there in time to pick her up after the game. I still feel like crap, but I went to the game today. They were playing Alexandria, so I figured if I was only going to see one game, it should be the one they have a chance of winning. They beat Alex twice in the regular season, but not this time. Emma almost scored a goal though. I have a deal with her, that I will give her $10 for every goal she scores in a game. She was pretty close today.

the little things

Had a short day at work, since the kids were off school. It was kind of nice. I did alot of running errands, and spent alot of time either in the office, or out of the building, so my 5 hour shift included maybe 2 hours of actually being on the floor, and those 2 hours were sprinkled throughout the 5 hours. I get to do it again next friday, too. My last day of work before I go see JP, and it's a short day, off by 11 a.m.! Very nice!

After work I took the boys out to get their hair cut. They both hated it, and I think Alex hated me for a bit there. But they both look better, that's the main thing. While we were out at Walmart, we did some shopping for the trip. We picked up things for the kids to keep busy and keep them from driving me insane for 24 hours trapped in the van.

Mom talked with an auctoneer today. They're setting up the auction for April 7th. Steven and I will be able to be there, mom will stay up here with the kids and wait for me to deliver a check. I hope it will be a big one.

I went to a jeweler today to see about fixing my wedding ring. I took the necklace with mom and dad's diamond to replace mine. I'm also getting repairs done to hopefully keep this from happening again. They told me it should be done before we go down to Mississippi. That's all I ask.

My favorite watch, the scooby doo one, is getting pretty rough. The crystal is all scratched up, the band loops are almost falling off, it's in bad shape. I was dreading having to go out to Walmart and pick out some crappy random p.o.s. watch to replace it. Got a wild thought earlier tonight though. I went to Ebay and did a search on "scooby doo watch" and I FOUND THE EXACT SAME WATCH!! Life is so good to me sometimes. Funny, my husband is gone, my kids fight like cats and dogs, my job sucks ass, and suddenly a simple watch can just brighten my day.

I have to cut it short tonight, I just got an email from half.com, another sale to get ready to ship out.

bill pay day

Today was bill paying day. I've been saving up money for this trip, so it was pretty easy to pay bills. But then I have to remember that the majority of the balance in the checking account is there for the trip. I have $1,000 in cash, about $1,000 in the account, and there's still the $1,500 in the anytime account. I get paid on the 5th, but that will go to making the March KIA payment. So Im pretty set on money. I'm a little worried, I wanted to have about $3,000. I just hope there's enough for everything.

I'm starting to get a little flack from the kids. The newness of their chores is wearing off, and now they just hate rules. This would be the point where I would let things slide, allow them to do this chore tomorrow night instead, or skip this one just this week. I can't do that. If things go back to the way they were, I will go insane, and take them with me! They've all said that they like me better now, I don't yell as much. They need to see the direct connection between them doing their chores and me not yelling.

Things at work are sort of improving. Cynthia was actually nice to me today. Ken let me count the deposit yesterday, and Cynthia didn't do it last night, so I was able to do it this morning. Maybe they finally figured out that I'm not the one pocketing the cash! I did have one moment of nervousness this morning with the deposit though. One of the drawers was a little over $12 short. I told Ken about it right away, and he asked me who was on the til. It was Mikey. So now my name will be on Cynthia's list one more time. Mikey's name is on it alot though.

Mom got the ball rolling on her auction. She is meeting with the guy tomorrow. Whenever she decides to have this, she will be up here, and I will go down to supervise the auction, and take a kid or two with me to help out. I can certainly understand her not wanting to be there the day her stuff is taken by perfect strangers. I just hope I will be able to walk into this house afterwards with a large check made out to her from the auctioneers. Money can't buy happiness, but I hope some of it can start to heal wounds.

The dogs need to go outside and they still need their supper, so I should get MY chores done!
Less than 2 weeks until I'm in his arms, finally!! I miss him so much I can barely stand it!