Answer
(I was posting this in the comments of my last post, to answer Flat, and it just got to be too long, so I copied and pasted it here)
No, Flat, it wasn't like this before he left, and really, it's not that I feel that way now, it's just a vent of feeling alone in all the stuff that needs to be done. Some of it, yes, I HAVE to do, homework, etc, but the stuff around the house? He's not helping and I feel like he may as well not be here, for all the good it's doing me, does that make any sense?
I love my husband with all my heart, and he really is a great man, he's just dropping the ball almost as much as I have been, and the timing really sucks for us both to be zoning out. Usually, if one of us bugs out, the other is there to stand up and take charge. I'm buggin' and he's not standing...
I'm trying to get my mind wrapped around this, and trying to stop bugging out. I'd rather not be medicated, but I just wasn't seeing any other options.
My mom calls it slapping a bandaid on a much bigger problem. She is strongly urging me not to see the doctor, not to take any meds. I don't know how I feel about it, other than feeling weak for even considering it. But I feel like I am running out of options and time. If I don't get this figured out and squared soon, I will risk screwing up so many of the things I have worked very hard to get.
Maybe I just need to get pissy. Angry. Downright MAD. But being a bitch is not the answer, is it? If I turn in to Atila the Mom, and Atila the wife, how is that really helping either? Yes, I will have help with the housework, but at the cost that my children cringe when I walk into a room, and my husband instictivly covers his boys for fear of catching a stray bitch-slap in the family jewel area... THAT'S not conducive to a happy home... Plus, being bitchy takes alot of energy and once I get going on a bitch rant, it's hard to stop and I'm never satisfied. Once I get bitchy, it's hard to please me, and it's hard to stop me.
I heard a rumor this morning that may be about me. It could be good or bad, depending on how I look at it, and what mood I'm in when (and if) it comes true.
1 comment:
I look at it this way: what's the problem in seeing a doctor? They're in a good position to know whether what you're feeling is normal "he throws inside-out socks into the laundry basket and who has to turn them right-side-out?" or something that threatens to pull you down or simply being overworked. If you need or could benefit from meds, take them. No shame in that. I was on for a year, got a leg up, and they helped immeasurably. After I felt I had a handle on things, I went off them with no fanfare. Meds may not be what you need, a clearer division of labor may be, but talking to a doctor can clear away the bullshit and help you see what would be most beneficial.
Thinking of you!
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