I didn't get a chance yesterday to get my photos printed... still very tired. Mornings are not good for me, even being on the medication. It almost seems like it makes me sleepier. I could easily sleep until noon every day.
Emma's final hockey tournament is this weekend, and JP and I both have to work at the arena in different areas. All parents are expected to work somewhere, concession stand, gate and check-in, scoreboard, penalty boxes, stuff like that. JP went to the sign-up meeting, I had to work at the bank, so he signed me up for things. I was really pissed off. He signed himself up to work doing the score bookkeeping for several games. He signed me up to do concession stand quite a bit. So he gets to watch games, and I get to serve hot dogs and coffee. When I objected to his choices for me, he said something along the lines of (I don't remember his exact words here, sorry) making it sound like service was "my thing". Since I worked at McShithole all those years, really, this is all I'm qualified to do. It felt like he was putting me in my place, a place I don't want to be, a place I used to be, yes, but if you hadn't noticed HONEY, I have changed a bit, and I have moved beyond that. I am capable of more than schlepping food. It just felt like he was putting me down, and doing it in front of all the other parents, too. "This is all Nik can do, so I'll sign her up for this"... I doubt he meant it that way, but it just felt like it.
That's all for now. I'm still waiting on my tax refund to be deposited... guessing they're not that eager to write out a check THAT BIG, so they're putting it off as long as they can...bastards.
I was worried that being such a short trip, we wouldn't see/do as much as we wanted to... well, turns out that if you don't waste time sleeping, you can really cram alot in!
We arrived Friday around 3, after a horrible delay in Atlanta (hate that airport!) and got right to "work". We stayed in a hotel right in the French Quarter, and after dumping our luggage, we started off on foot exploring.
Over the next few days I will post some of my favorite pictures. We did a tourist-y tour of one of the cemeteries, and we did another one of Oak Alley Plantation, which is where parts of "Interview with the Vampire" was filmed. It was amazing.
We sipped (ok, sucked down!) mint juleps on the veranda of the big house and we did the whole Bourbon Street experience on Friday night, and my mom really 'experienced' that... I was a good girl, didn't drink MUCH, I won't say I didn't drink at all, but while I was nursing my weird drinks (hurricane is the name of one classic bourbon street beverage, and it was NOT good) my mother, on the other hand, was fully enjoying every beverage she could get her hot little hands on! But it was HER vacation, and she was determined to enjoy her vacation.
Oh, and wow, did we shop! I was so proud of my mom, she doesn't shop for herself often, but she really made up for it this weekend. Good for her!
I don't have class today until 1, my morning instructor called (emailed) in sick, so I think I will have time to run out and get my photos printed out.
Mom and I got home Sunday (actually Monday morning) about 2 am. We were very tired. And we really got used to that 70 degree temperature, compared to the negative 20's we had been dealing with for a good month before the trip. So it was quite a horrible shock to come home, even though it had warmed up here in Minnesota to darn near 30 ABOVE while we were away.
Oh, and I got a bit of a sunburn... in FEBRUARY! I don't even mind, it actually makes me happy. Mostly on my forehead and across my nose, but it's better than frostbite! HAHAHAHA!
It's not like me to go a week without a post.
One side affect of this medication (it's Celexa, btw) seems to be that it causes drowsiness. UM HELLO? THAT'S JUST DUMB!
The whole purpose of me being on medication is to get me UP and moving and giving a shit... and this stuff makes me want to sleep until noon... I'll be calling the funny doctor when I get back from New Orleans next week.
Oh, that's right, Mom and I are leaving tonight for New Orleans. We will be home on Sunday, very late Sunday night.
The temperatures here lately have been brutal. Negative 20 is a daily NORM, and we broke a record yesterday morning, at -31. That would be the ACTUAL temp, throw in the windchill, and it's been as low as -50 for what seems like damn near forever.
The average daily temperature in New Orleans is like 70... ABOVE zero.
I packed capri pants and sandals...
Things are going to be nuts today while attending class, trying to pack the last minute stuff, going to work, and leaving right after work.
I'll post pics when I get back.
No more mention of depressing crap.
Today was Valentine's Day. I didn't get flowers. Or candy. Or a teddy bear.
I got a bratwurst and a cappuchino at the hockey arena. It was great. After Emma's practice, we stayed at the arena to watch the High School varsity team. It was very exciting. It was 6-6 at the end, and with only 11 seconds left in overtime, our guys pulled it off, it was really fun to watch.
Oh, and we got our taxes done today... It went VERY EXTREMELY WONDERFULLY well.
It's about twice as much as I was hoping for, and it's MORE than we got last year... (if you remember what THAT was... this is about $500 more)
SO VERY HAPPY. I am really looking forward to sending off checks to pay OFF 3 things... Gander Mountain (store credit card) and Home Depot ( the 'no interest' offer ends in August) and my Kia.
Plus we will have enough left over to replace the fence around the back yard. Yeah, that's right, pay off a vehicle, 2 credit cards AND remodel stuff, too. THAT is what 10K gets ya!
hehehehehehe
It was a good day, except for the headaches. Don't know if they're caused by the new medications or the cranking changes that were done to my braces yesterday. My mouth hurts.
(I was posting this in the comments of my last post, to answer Flat, and it just got to be too long, so I copied and pasted it here)
No, Flat, it wasn't like this before he left, and really, it's not that I feel that way now, it's just a vent of feeling alone in all the stuff that needs to be done. Some of it, yes, I HAVE to do, homework, etc, but the stuff around the house? He's not helping and I feel like he may as well not be here, for all the good it's doing me, does that make any sense?
I love my husband with all my heart, and he really is a great man, he's just dropping the ball almost as much as I have been, and the timing really sucks for us both to be zoning out. Usually, if one of us bugs out, the other is there to stand up and take charge. I'm buggin' and he's not standing...
I'm trying to get my mind wrapped around this, and trying to stop bugging out. I'd rather not be medicated, but I just wasn't seeing any other options.
My mom calls it slapping a bandaid on a much bigger problem. She is strongly urging me not to see the doctor, not to take any meds. I don't know how I feel about it, other than feeling weak for even considering it. But I feel like I am running out of options and time. If I don't get this figured out and squared soon, I will risk screwing up so many of the things I have worked very hard to get.
Maybe I just need to get pissy. Angry. Downright MAD. But being a bitch is not the answer, is it? If I turn in to Atila the Mom, and Atila the wife, how is that really helping either? Yes, I will have help with the housework, but at the cost that my children cringe when I walk into a room, and my husband instictivly covers his boys for fear of catching a stray bitch-slap in the family jewel area... THAT'S not conducive to a happy home... Plus, being bitchy takes alot of energy and once I get going on a bitch rant, it's hard to stop and I'm never satisfied. Once I get bitchy, it's hard to please me, and it's hard to stop me.
I heard a rumor this morning that may be about me. It could be good or bad, depending on how I look at it, and what mood I'm in when (and if) it comes true.
I finally broke down today and made an appointment to see my doctor.I feel so dumb about this, I (falsely, I know) think of depression as a sign of weakness. Just the fact that I made that phone call this morning makes me sob with what a wuss I am. But crying about making a phone call??? HELLO?
I just want to stop being tired and getting nothing done, and I am sick of 'dropping the ball' on things and I am cranky with my kids, when I even have the energy to give a shit. My sex life is more along the lines of an "I have to" rather than an "I want to"
I just keep thinking that once I graduate, ALL I will have to deal with is a job, instead of work and homework and classes and senate and the kids being assholes and hockey and my husband being more trouble than he's worth. holy shit, did I just say that? OK, so I could have backspaced and deleted it and pretended that I didn't really think it, but I think it's time to be honest, if I can't be honest with myself and the shit I TYPE, then how the hell am I supposed to get better, right?
When he was gone, I could not allow this within myself, because there was nobody else, now there is, and suddenly I fall apart? jesus I am so screwed up... I actually had a thought for a second that it was BETTER when he was gone! What the hell is wrong with me?
Again. It's starting to get a bit redundant.
Again. It's starting to get a bit redundant.
See, I may be getting burned out, but at least I still have my sense of humor, sad as it may be.
I'm considering asking my boss if I can get one day off per week. Right now, I work Monday through Saturday. I find myself coming home from work and I am just too tired. Too tired to get any housework done, too tired to try to get any food on the table, and too tired to make an attempt at homework.
I have my New Orleans trip to look forward to, that's coming up in a week and a half. Then, after that I have Spring break to look forward to, hoping to be recovering from my jaw surgery during that time. After that, it's damn near graduation day, So I know, I see an end in sight, but that doesn't seem to help with the daily fight to get up and get going.
Like today. I doubt that I am going to class today. Yes, I know, I missed last Wednesday so we could run to Fargo, and I missed last Thursday because Emma was sick. But I spent all weekend either working, or laying around relaxing, and I didn't get a thing done around the house, no laundry got done, the house is a mess, and I am still exhausted.
Some day it will be better, when I "only" have a job. At least that's what I tell myself now. When I don't have homework or GPAs or Senate crap to worry about. When I don't have to study for tests and prepare financial statements and deal with the politics of being a student. Yes, I said politics. I seem to have come into a position in the school of being a confidante of a few of the instructors, by being their TA, or just by knowing them through other activities. Some of them don't like each other. And I hear it all.
I'm tired of this. Maybe I should see a doctor....
hmm.
We decided that our kids need to start taking vitamins. Meals around here aren't exactly nutritionally sound.
I wanted to get them those Flintstone vitamins. JP said "No, let's get this big jug of gummi bear-looking vitamins. Not thinking of WHO these were for, I, like an idiot, said "sure".
That was Wednesday during our shopping trip. When I got home from work Wednesday night, JP met me in the dining room and said "We may have a problem"
Turns out, Emma spotted the gummies and asked daddy if she could have some. He said NO. She heard YES. And she ate. And ate. And ate. JP counted the remaining gummies, and did the math: She ate 78 of them.
I called poison control, as recommended on the bottle. He said that the makers of children's vitamins pretty much COUNT on children being idiots, as mine are, so they do not put iron in children's vitamins. If a child overdoses on vitamins containing iron, they will require a stomach pumping. These gummies contained no iron, so the girl is fine, except for an uncomfortable stomach.
I asked Emma how she felt, just before bedtime Wednesday night.
"My tummy hurts"
GOOD. As it should.
kids are idiots.
For the first time in my life, I went to a caucus.
I wasn't even sure what it was, or what I was supposed to do there.
I just knew that I needed to go, as a fairly well informed voter, and as a voter who wants my vote to count, and to be for (who I consider to be) the right candidate.
I know it's too late, because they're over, and already reporting, but I hope everyone who reads this has already been out to their caucus.
There, that's all I have to say on politics (for now)!
I bowled great last night, 145, 149 and a 151. I won all three pots for "highest above her average" so I put $3 in the pot ($1 per game) and left with a $12 profit! I will also get a pin (woohoo, I'm such a dork) for having a 400 series.
Today at college we have a "special treat". It's a guy, John Rush, he's a singer. Basically, he's like a human iPod. It's like Karaoke with only one singer, and one that can actuallly carry a tune. He's got 3 CDs, and my friend Jacqui and I went in on them (get all 3 for $20) and we each put in $10 and I will burn myself copies and give her the originals. He does a million and one covers, but he's also got his own music. He's really good, and he's pretty nice to look at, too!
Here's his website: Mr Yummy Bald Guy.
So that's my day. Emma is home with a tummy ache, JP took her to the doctor today, she's on a clear liquid diet, saltines etc. I have one more class to get to, in about 20 minutes, then I have to work tonight.
I got a great compliment from my boss yesterday. She was going on and on about how well we close, how quickly we get out of there each night. She said "It's really a testement to you, Nik, because you're the standard, you always close. Seems like no matter who I have closing with you(there's always 2 of us) you are always great on time"
((big smile)) thanks... I try.
2. A place I like to travel to:(playa del carmen)
4. My favorite object: (tried to keep it clean here)
5. My favorite food:(salmon)
7. My favorite color:(green)
8. Place I was born: 
11. My nickname:(Nik)
12. A bad habit that I have:
I love the Giants!
Granted, I really don't give a rat's ass about the Superbowl, but I was pulling for the Giants for two reasons:
One, nobody's perfect, and the Patriots wanted to THINK they were.
and
Two, Randy Moss. He was a Viking once upon a time, and although I did like him when he played here, I think he's become cocky and a real ass, and I wanted him to have to whine and piss and moan and place blame elsewhere when he came away WITHOUT a victory in "the big one".
I drank WATER during the entire game, did not have a drop of alcohol. I'm too old to drink more than one night in a row, my body just can't handle it.
This weekend did not feel like a weekend, too short. Working Saturdays sucks some times, then the added hockey crap and next thing I know, it's Sunday night, laundry has not been done and caught up, the dishes are not done, the house is a mess, and my homework did not even get a look.
Sucks.
But the Giants were good to me, so at least I have that... Thanks guys!
Wow, I just reread my post from last night... dayyuum, I was not of sound mind!
But it was fun and it was worth how awful I felt this morning.
Emma had a hockey game this afternoon, she had two great shots-on-goal and one excellent assist, but our girls still lost, 3-2.
JP and I are invited to a Super Bowl party in a bit, think we will go make an appearance.
He's home now, so I should wrap this up.
I will NOT be drunk blogging when I get back tonight!
even drunk, I try to maintain good grammar and spelling, that's what you get for readinng an anal-retentive blog.
I
ve had a rought week, lots of shit going on. Tnoight is my only night free, and I got drunk with my best friend. watching FRIENDS on DVD.
If I had a nickel for every time I hit the damn backspace button, I
d be fuckin rich.
I hate bad spelling and such.
I had a rough week and I needed tonight to recover.
We laughed and drank and duscused how we'd deal with Alex and his sex life (or how we wnat him to NOT have one) AND we came up with nuthihn. damn lonhg fingernails
I;ll talk tomorrow on this, today, tonight is not good.
JP went to a bar with his friend tow atch some ultimate fighting thig and I had a few drinks,\
goodnight.
