Moving on

I found out that the summer session starts on May 16th, that's a lot sooner than I thought. I also got a list of classes offered in the summer. None of them are in the Accounting field, but I can get some generals out of the way, ease into it. I am thinking I will be taking 3 classes, one is Fundamentals of Math, one is Computer Basics and the other is College Writing. The 3 of them are worth 10 credits, and I wouldn't be taking more than 2 at a time. The first one to start ends the same day the 3rd begins. I would be busy from May 16th through August 11th though. That alone should make the summer go by quickly.

I filled out my F.A.F.S.A. online tonight, it is the single form to fill out for any and (almost) all financial aid. It was an online application, and it says I should be hearing from them within 2-3 days. I also printed out an application for a grant given to 3,000 military spouses and children each year. These grants run from $1,000 to $5,000. The amount given is based on the student's financial need. The sucky thing is that looking at our 2005 taxes, they're going to think I don't need a dime. I may need to take out a loan for the first year, but this time next year, when they see my tax forms for the year 2006, and see that I was trying to raise 3 kids on this income, I will probably have no trouble getting funding. None of the money JP makes in Iraq is taxable. So according to the IRS, we will be living on my short lived income from McDonald's, which was barely $4,000.

I also had a bright idea tonight. The lady who did our taxes this year is just starting her business. I'm guessing that's the main reason she offered her services free to all deployed military families. I'm wondering if next tax season, she may need an assistant. The college encourages work/study programs, I wonder if her tax service would qualify, and of course, if she were willing to take me. If she's not, I bet the college would know of some places where I could do some sort of internship. Good for the experience, also, I believe that it's worth some sort of college credit.

I sent off a package to JP this morning, it was a pretty big one. But the guy actually did what I asked him to, he made me a list! So I was determined to get him everything on the list. Everything from shower shoes to a hand held vacuum, razors to deodorant. Of course, I filled out the rest of the box with a few fun things that made me laugh when I bought them, I just hope he sees the humor. The box weighed just over 16 lbs., and cost almost $24 to send it priority. I won't make a habit of that, but this was a special occasion.

Alex is starting to see some results in his efforts to improve his grades. Mom has been helping him, and she's almost as pleased as he is. Mr. Zamzo hasn't posted his math grades yet, and we're starting to get annoyed about that, but we are trying to be patient. He has already turned 2 D's into 2 B's, and I'm pretty pleased about that.

Tomorrow Mom and I are going out to do some job hunting for her. She needs to drop off an application and pick another one up. She did find out that they offered the job at the Crisis Center to someone who had formal training with children. I guess I can't fault them for that. But I do think it's good for Mom to keep looking in fields other than manufacturing. She needs to keep all options open. I know the right one is out there for her, I just wish it would show up soon, she is going through bouts of self doubt and almost depression. I have no idea how to help her through this. I know she's worried about her future, and I have no way of calming those fears. I feel very helpless when she needs someone very helpful. I try to tell her how much she is helping me and the kids, try to reassure her that she raised 2 good kids who will see her through anything, but she hates that idea. She doesn't feel like she can be dependent on anyone. I don't think that's fair of her to put herself in a category like that. Everyone needs help at one time or another. She needs to admit that she is human, and accept the fact that she raised us to be the kind of people who love and help their family. Whether they like it or not, dammit!

I am a plumber

Well, no, but I can DO plumbing stuff! I don't think I could be a real plumber, my pants don't hang low showing my crack. The spray hose at the kitchen sink has been driving me nuts for quite some time. Today I decided to do something about it. I bought a replacement and crawled under there, took out the old one, and installed the new one. I even used teflon tape and checked for leaks. I like doing things like that. When JP is home, he just does it, and I do like that, just having things done, but this way, there is a better feeling of accomplishment. I CAN do things around here!

This morning we went to a fund raising breakfast at the American Legion. It was raising money for the FRG Emergency Fund. That's the money given to any soldier who needs to come home for emergency reasons. While there I met Diane K. The FRG leader here in D.L. I had emailed her Friday about the financial aid for my education. We stood and talked for about 15 minutes, I passed the info on to her about Skype, and told her about the satellite dish that JP and his guys had gotten. She said she would talk to her son, Justin about it. They were also selling shirts and car magnets. I got one of those yellow ribbon ones and it says "Keep My Husband Safe" on it. The T shirt I got is blue, and has their Rex Montis Bearcat shield on the back. I guess the main reason I got them was because I knew the money would go straight to the FRG. I have seen the magnets sold pretty much everywhere, but I don't feel like giving Walmart my money for something like that.

I have to get started on my financial aid applications tomorrow, and find out when the summer session starts, and what classes are offered. It feels very sudden, but I know once I get into it, I will be fine. Plus, it's like walking out of McDonald's... If I don't do it NOW, I may never. Some decisions are better off spur of the moment, for me at least.

I did some refiguring on the budget tonight. I may end up shuffling everything around. It's very lopsided with what's due and when. I'm pretty sure I can put a minimum of $400 per month into a savings account. Of course, I haven't figured in any money needed for school either. I hate when things are up in the air, but for now, it's going to have to be, and when it's all settled and squared away, things will be fine.

Time for bed, I may not have a job to get up for, but I do still have to get the kids up for school tomorrow.

Unlimited talk time

I am married to the smartest man ever. He got his computer set up with a satellite dish, so he has internet in the privacy of his room, then he downloads a thing so we can use the 'net as a phone, without the charges! He and I got to talk for almost 40 minutes today. It was so nice, just to have the time to have a decent talk, not feel rushed, not worry about forgetting to ask him something, just hearing his voice.

I had told him to read the blog, to get caught up on what was going on with work, or lack of, and my decision to go back to school. I admit, I wasn't looking forward to actually telling him, so I really pushed for him to read it instead. I don't know why I was worried about it. I hope he knows me well enough to know that I wouldn't have left if we needed the money really badly. I don't just quit jobs willy-nilly, but this had to be done. I asked him how he felt about it, and he said that since I do the money, and I say we'll be ok, then he's fine with it.

I hope he knows how much I love him, how important it is to me that he is ok with what I'm doing. I like to pretend that I wear the pants in this family, and yes, I usually do get my way, but if I thought he was disappointed in me, it would just kill me. I want him to be proud of me.

One door closes, another opens

I walked out today. When I got to work and got my check, I discovered that Ken had "forgotten" my vacation pay once again. This is the 3rd check since the trip, he's just an ass. So I clocked in, and called him at home. "Just had a quick question for you, I was wondering why my vacation pay wasn't on this check either ?" He came up with some excuse about 'You didn't request it'...OH MY GOD!! I didn't "request" it last year when JP and I went to Mexico. But there it was. Gina spoke to him about it last week, and his answer was in the plural (you guys should have reminded me, I'll get them on the next checks). Funny thing is, Gina got hers on this check. I have no problem believing that he had forgotten it, but since I turned in my 2 weeks' notice on the 14th, and the end of the pay period is the 15th, I'm guessing he made a conscience decision to give Gina hers, and since I'm leaving anyway, I don't get mine. So I get off the phone after listening to his lies, clocked out, hugged Culleen and tossed my keys on the counter and walked out.

I came home and got out of that awful uniform for the last time, and Mom and I ran some errands. The most important one was the college visit. There's a Tech College here in D.L., they offer an Accounting program. I am going to start in the summer, take just 2 classes or so, get a feel for it, it has been 15 years since I went to school! I'm a little scared, but I had to get out of there. I'm excited about this, and I just hope JP can be supportive. I know it's going to be quite a shock to him, he didn't even know I had turned in my notice. We haven't had the chance to talk much in the last 2 weeks.

I mailed off another package to him today. I hope he gets the first one I sent soon. Hell, maybe he's gotten it already, and just hasn't been able to call and let me know. I also picked up a few little things to put in the next box for him. The one I mailed today was mostly munchies, this next one is pretty much toys, things to keep his occupied, and hopefully, laughing.

I have to do a lot of checking tomorrow, I have to find my options for financial aid. I know there's a program through the military, just for spouses, and I will be taking full advantage of that. Being unemployed, with my husband deployed, 3 kids, I should be able to get some help. I just want something better for my life.

An Interview!

Mom got a call today and went in for an interview at the Crisis Center. It's a director of something. I called in a favor from Sarah, she works at the Crisis Center, and used to be a manager with me. She was able to give mom some insight into the job, and the office. They say they will be deciding by the end of this week, or early next week. I really hope she gets this, it's a whole new field for her, but I think a change is just what she needs... not to mention a paycheck!

I am having a hard time being in a bad mood at work lately. Funny, ever since I put in my 2 weeks' notice, I don't mind it as much. Light at the end of the tunnel, no doubt. I still haven't told JP, haven't had the chance yet. I hope he gets his internet thing set up soon. I miss seeing him, I miss talking to him.

When things settle down, I have to redo the budget. I want to put a line on there for "savings". I'd like to have a good sized chunk of change in there for when JP gets home, to do whatever he wants. Either a nice family vacation, or a big remodeling project. Let him decide. I wish there was a way to keep it a secret from him, but he reads this occasionally, and he also has access to our online banking. So the cat's out of the bag, but maybe it will give him time to figure out what to do with it when he gets home.

When he gets home... I like the sound of that.

Not today

I didn't go to work today, I am sick. Emma stayed home, too. She and I have the same cough, and raw sore throat, and sneezing and runny nose. Wow, the works! I will go in tomorrow though, I don't want my final check to be a weenie one. I slept until shortly after 11 this morning, it was pretty nice.

I spent my afternoon yesterday, after working until 11 am, working on sorting through my scrapbooking area. I haven't touched it since I started working at McDonald's. So I'm a little over 3&1/2 years behind. I didn't realize till I started going through the stuff just how smart I was. When I realized that I would stop being a Consultant for CM, I spent my last bit of money buying their more expensive things, just to have on hand, things I knew I would eventually use. I have 5 albums, for example, and at $36 each, that's a nice bit to have socked away. As soon as I have everything gone through, I can start working on them again.

The Girl Scout Cookies arrived late last week, and I'm getting a package ready to send to JP. This package will be all about the munchies. I have decided to part with one of my 12 boxes of Thin Mints to send to him. He really loves them, too. Maybe I will set aside a few more boxes, and send him some every couple of weeks.

It's only a little after 7 pm, and I'm heading up to bed shortly here. Even with sleeping so late today, I'm just beat. I've started taking those Echinacia tablets, supposed to help get over a cold faster. I hope so, I just feel awful.

Things have been better with mom here, I don't have time to sit and wallow. She has been good for me, but I worry that taking care of us has taken all of her time. Yes, she is applying for jobs here and there, but I worry that she isn't giving it the attention it deserves because she's busy helping my family. But she has had some interest in her house, hopefully it will sell soon, that would just be a blessing. I worry about her, I just want everything to work out for her.

Moving on

I finally decided that it's time to move on. I have worked at McDonald's for 3 years and 7 months. It was supposed to be a paycheck until I found a real job. I had stopped looking. That was my first mistake. When I decided to leave, a few months ago, I had convinced myself that I could last a little longer. I was thinking of waiting until the kids were done with school. But I've done the math, and turns out, I don't have to wait. Even if JP's pay wasn't about to jump with all the extras of being in a war zone, we have enough to cover all the bills with just his checks. I told Ken on Friday, that my last day would be Friday, April 28th. I simply cannot wait to get up on Monday the 1st of May, and NOT go there.

I am looking for another job, I turned in an application for the part time licensing clerk for the DMV at Becker County. I will continue to look, and apply only for jobs that will work for me. In the fall, I do believe I will be going back to school for Accounting. With some sort of degree, finding the right job should be a little easier.

Mom and I got so much done this weekend. I had mentioned wanting some shelves put up in the hidden living room closet, and she had heard me whine about my pantry not being a very efficient use of the space. We completely gutted it, painted it, to lighten it up in there, and cut new shelves, bigger ones. I cannot believe the space we have in there now. Mom is very fond of JP's power tools. It was nice having two drivers, one for drilling a pilot hole, and one for screwing. She also seemed to have a good time with the table saw. I know the kids appreciated her using the air compressor, they had flat or low tires on their bikes, and it was a beautiful weekend for riding. We put Grandpa's shelves up in the living room, along the longest wall. They fit there as if he had built them for the space. In order to make it look right, we had to completely rearrange the living room though, but it looks so nice now. I filled the shelves with some of my favorite things, and it makes the room so much better. She also gave Eric and Emma shelves in their bedrooms, something they both needed. Eric and Alex also got curtains hung in their windows.

We also took the dogs for walks. Comet is doing so well, I even took Hailey and Comet together tonight. They walked side by side, with Comet closest to me, Hailey on the outside. They both did very well.

I heard from JP tonight, on the computer. It had been a week since we talked last. He doesn't know about my 2 week's notice. We didn't get to chat very long. He told me that he has gotten something set up to get internet in his room, which is nice, he won't have to go to the computer lab when we want to chat, and adds a bit of privacy for any webcam "dates" we may have a chance at! He says it should be up and running in the next few days.

I do have to get to bed, I have a short day at work tomorrow, 6-11 am, since the kids don't have school. Only 10 days left, then I'm free.

Done and done

The auction is over. She doesn't have to go back there. I haven't been to a whole lot of auctions, so I'm not sure what I was expecting, but I was hoping she would have made more money than that. She says it's ok, she has enough to cover her April bills.

JP is over there now. I got an email from him with his new mailing address. It's a good thing, too. I just got his birthday present in the mail yesterday. I download my pictures from the digital camera to the Kodak Gallery website, then I can order prints. They also have a feature where I can make calendars with my photos. And the calendars don't have to run January through December. So I made a calendar for JP with pictures of us, the kids, the dogs, everything he misses. I made it run from May of 06 to April of 07. I will be mailing that out tomorrow.

I found out that my jaw surgery will not happen until next summer, they need my braces to be almost done moving my teeth before they move my jaw. As it turns out, it's a good thing, too. The insurance we are on now, through the military will not cover it. Next summer, when JP is back, and we are back with the City's insurance company, they will cover it.

Mom and I are working on getting her settled in, still have alot to do. Her computer and TV need to be hooked up yet, and she still have stuff in the porch, but she's getting there, and soon, when she is all moved in, we are going to start on a few projects around here for me. We want to redo some shelving in the pantry and the hidden closet in the living room, make better use of the spaces.

Tomorrow I am applying for a job. It's for Becker County, it's in the DMV office. It's only 24 hours per week, but I like that, and the starting pay is at least $2.50 more than I'm making at McDonald's. I've got to try, got to do something. I can't stay there much longer without wigging out and end up swearing at a customer and walking out. I'm just so sick of it. Just burned out, I guess.

I wish JP would call. I miss the sound of his voice. I miss the feel of his arms around me, but a phone call can't fix that, so I will settle for his voice. I hate the fact that when we do talk, he can't say much. Operations Security prohibits him from giving any details of pretty much everything. I haven't talked to him since last weekend.

settling in

My mouth is getting better. My cheeks are getting used to the brackets, not quite as sore the last couple of days as they were right after the 'installation'. I am getting better at chewing, too. I even had the All-you-can-eat fried shrimp at Bonanza in St. Cloud Friday night.

Mom, Alex and I got so much done this weekend at her place. The house is almost completely void of all things mom is keeping. Just a few last minute things I will grab next weekend when I go down for the auction. The majority of the cleaning is done, too. I have to spend the night Friday in the empty house to be there Saturday morning for the carpet cleaner to come in. Mom left me a pile of blankets and comforters so I can camp out somewhere.

JP called tonight just as we were finishing dinner. He told me that he is going to re-enlist while he's over there. I knew he was going to, when he gets back from this deployment he will have 18 years in, and we were planning on him finishing out the 20. If he re-enlists while he's over there, not only is he eligible for the bonus, but also, since he is in a foreign country, a freaking war zone, all income is tax free. That means that any signing bonus will come straight here, do not pass Uncle Sam, they do not get to collect $200 (or however much they think they should get to take of it!) I guess if he's gotta do it, at least they can do is give him the damn money to make it worth his while. I just don't know how recruiters can get anyone to sign up for the Guards these days. The pay sucks, and gee, chances are pretty good that you will have to leave your loved ones for a good year, year and a half, and go into a war. I bet those guys down at the armory are just beatin' em off with a stick. War is just not good advertising for joining the Guard. If I cared at all, I'd almost feel bad for those guys just trying to do their jobs. But I don't care. I hope their job is hard, I hope they can't get a single person signed up. If I thought I could get away with it, I'd picket the armory. Have a big sign saying "Sign your life away LITERALLY... Apply within". Then again, would those silly little 18 yr old boys get my sarcasm?

Tomorrow I am going to see about my jaw surgery. I want mom to go with me. The appointment is in Fargo at 2:30 though. The kids would most likely get home before we would. I hope I can convince her that they can go to the community center and swim for awhile after they get home from school. I'd rather not go alone. I'd like her input on the whole thing.

Time to go to bed. Even tho I don't have to work tomorrow, I still have to get up early to get the kids going.