Who's the best mom?
As Mother's Day approaches (which, coincidentally this year falls on my wedding anniversary! WooHoo! Double presents day! Oh, and 18 years of wedded bliss, I got that going for me, too!)
Anyway, as the day to celebrate Mom draws near, I find myself with a heart wrenching predicament... my oldest son is no longer living with us. He's been having issues at school. Rather, issues with ATTENDING school. There's other stuff going on, but the point is, a week and a half ago, he basically moved out. My mom lives about 6 blocks away, and she offered to take him in and turn his life into a therapy session.
After 10 days or so, he has improved. Hasn't missed a single class, hasn't even been tardy. Not once. His attitude and mood have improved by leaps and bounds!
So what's the problem? I'm torn here: Happy as hell that whatever is going on over there is working, but heartbroken that I couldn't help my son myself. I know, I know, I am NOT Happy Bunny; it's NOT all about me. I'm being selfish; at least he's getting help.
But what's wrong with me, and hubby, and our life and our home, that Alex needed to leave it to improve? I might be a bit jealous of my mom...
I still see Alex almost every day, but I do miss him. I realize that I was buffering him; from his father, from harm, from consequences. I needed to step back and do the whole "learn from your mistakes" game with him.
My mom is my best friend, without a doubt, I trust her with my life, my kids' lives, absolutely nothing I worry about there... she was a great mom to me, tough with the right amount of fun and discipline. Stands to reason that the same should be true as she deals with Alex.
My 'whine' is that what the hell is wrong with me, that I didn't SEE the way my mom raised me, and LEARN to do it for my kids? I feel like I failed him.
8 comments:
Nikky, sometimes we are just too close to the problem to be able to clearly see a way of dealing with it.You didn't fail your son because, when the chips were down, as much as it hurt, you stepped back and let some one else step up. The most important thing here is that Alex is getting the help he needs - because you love him enough to make sure he gets it.
You sound like an excellent mother. Anyone who can look at themselves and be completely honest is a great person. Your son is fortunate to have a mother who cares so much about him that she is willing to do whatever it takes, no matter how hard it is. You should be proud of yourself, you are being very selfless.
How can there be anything wrong with you? There are so many different personalities on the Earth and parenting isn't the same as in the old days. I'd say there's a lot more pressure nowadays because in most families BOTH parents have to work to meet the running costs.
Lyn & Marlee are right, you did good by recognising the situation and allowing the solution to present itself and rectify the situation. You had as much to do with it as your Mother.
Wolf
Of course we love our mom, because without it we are not here...
A lot of things about life is always surprising, always the best place for mothers to share! I miss my mom!
Nice note's...
Just now getting back in to blogs. I hope things are better. You are lucky to have such a wonderful mother...I don't think I would let me child live with my mother...she would smother with the Bible and Jesus stuff.
Miss you!
xoxo
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