Moving on

I found out that the summer session starts on May 16th, that's a lot sooner than I thought. I also got a list of classes offered in the summer. None of them are in the Accounting field, but I can get some generals out of the way, ease into it. I am thinking I will be taking 3 classes, one is Fundamentals of Math, one is Computer Basics and the other is College Writing. The 3 of them are worth 10 credits, and I wouldn't be taking more than 2 at a time. The first one to start ends the same day the 3rd begins. I would be busy from May 16th through August 11th though. That alone should make the summer go by quickly.

I filled out my F.A.F.S.A. online tonight, it is the single form to fill out for any and (almost) all financial aid. It was an online application, and it says I should be hearing from them within 2-3 days. I also printed out an application for a grant given to 3,000 military spouses and children each year. These grants run from $1,000 to $5,000. The amount given is based on the student's financial need. The sucky thing is that looking at our 2005 taxes, they're going to think I don't need a dime. I may need to take out a loan for the first year, but this time next year, when they see my tax forms for the year 2006, and see that I was trying to raise 3 kids on this income, I will probably have no trouble getting funding. None of the money JP makes in Iraq is taxable. So according to the IRS, we will be living on my short lived income from McDonald's, which was barely $4,000.

I also had a bright idea tonight. The lady who did our taxes this year is just starting her business. I'm guessing that's the main reason she offered her services free to all deployed military families. I'm wondering if next tax season, she may need an assistant. The college encourages work/study programs, I wonder if her tax service would qualify, and of course, if she were willing to take me. If she's not, I bet the college would know of some places where I could do some sort of internship. Good for the experience, also, I believe that it's worth some sort of college credit.

I sent off a package to JP this morning, it was a pretty big one. But the guy actually did what I asked him to, he made me a list! So I was determined to get him everything on the list. Everything from shower shoes to a hand held vacuum, razors to deodorant. Of course, I filled out the rest of the box with a few fun things that made me laugh when I bought them, I just hope he sees the humor. The box weighed just over 16 lbs., and cost almost $24 to send it priority. I won't make a habit of that, but this was a special occasion.

Alex is starting to see some results in his efforts to improve his grades. Mom has been helping him, and she's almost as pleased as he is. Mr. Zamzo hasn't posted his math grades yet, and we're starting to get annoyed about that, but we are trying to be patient. He has already turned 2 D's into 2 B's, and I'm pretty pleased about that.

Tomorrow Mom and I are going out to do some job hunting for her. She needs to drop off an application and pick another one up. She did find out that they offered the job at the Crisis Center to someone who had formal training with children. I guess I can't fault them for that. But I do think it's good for Mom to keep looking in fields other than manufacturing. She needs to keep all options open. I know the right one is out there for her, I just wish it would show up soon, she is going through bouts of self doubt and almost depression. I have no idea how to help her through this. I know she's worried about her future, and I have no way of calming those fears. I feel very helpless when she needs someone very helpful. I try to tell her how much she is helping me and the kids, try to reassure her that she raised 2 good kids who will see her through anything, but she hates that idea. She doesn't feel like she can be dependent on anyone. I don't think that's fair of her to put herself in a category like that. Everyone needs help at one time or another. She needs to admit that she is human, and accept the fact that she raised us to be the kind of people who love and help their family. Whether they like it or not, dammit!

I am a plumber

Well, no, but I can DO plumbing stuff! I don't think I could be a real plumber, my pants don't hang low showing my crack. The spray hose at the kitchen sink has been driving me nuts for quite some time. Today I decided to do something about it. I bought a replacement and crawled under there, took out the old one, and installed the new one. I even used teflon tape and checked for leaks. I like doing things like that. When JP is home, he just does it, and I do like that, just having things done, but this way, there is a better feeling of accomplishment. I CAN do things around here!

This morning we went to a fund raising breakfast at the American Legion. It was raising money for the FRG Emergency Fund. That's the money given to any soldier who needs to come home for emergency reasons. While there I met Diane K. The FRG leader here in D.L. I had emailed her Friday about the financial aid for my education. We stood and talked for about 15 minutes, I passed the info on to her about Skype, and told her about the satellite dish that JP and his guys had gotten. She said she would talk to her son, Justin about it. They were also selling shirts and car magnets. I got one of those yellow ribbon ones and it says "Keep My Husband Safe" on it. The T shirt I got is blue, and has their Rex Montis Bearcat shield on the back. I guess the main reason I got them was because I knew the money would go straight to the FRG. I have seen the magnets sold pretty much everywhere, but I don't feel like giving Walmart my money for something like that.

I have to get started on my financial aid applications tomorrow, and find out when the summer session starts, and what classes are offered. It feels very sudden, but I know once I get into it, I will be fine. Plus, it's like walking out of McDonald's... If I don't do it NOW, I may never. Some decisions are better off spur of the moment, for me at least.

I did some refiguring on the budget tonight. I may end up shuffling everything around. It's very lopsided with what's due and when. I'm pretty sure I can put a minimum of $400 per month into a savings account. Of course, I haven't figured in any money needed for school either. I hate when things are up in the air, but for now, it's going to have to be, and when it's all settled and squared away, things will be fine.

Time for bed, I may not have a job to get up for, but I do still have to get the kids up for school tomorrow.

Unlimited talk time

I am married to the smartest man ever. He got his computer set up with a satellite dish, so he has internet in the privacy of his room, then he downloads a thing so we can use the 'net as a phone, without the charges! He and I got to talk for almost 40 minutes today. It was so nice, just to have the time to have a decent talk, not feel rushed, not worry about forgetting to ask him something, just hearing his voice.

I had told him to read the blog, to get caught up on what was going on with work, or lack of, and my decision to go back to school. I admit, I wasn't looking forward to actually telling him, so I really pushed for him to read it instead. I don't know why I was worried about it. I hope he knows me well enough to know that I wouldn't have left if we needed the money really badly. I don't just quit jobs willy-nilly, but this had to be done. I asked him how he felt about it, and he said that since I do the money, and I say we'll be ok, then he's fine with it.

I hope he knows how much I love him, how important it is to me that he is ok with what I'm doing. I like to pretend that I wear the pants in this family, and yes, I usually do get my way, but if I thought he was disappointed in me, it would just kill me. I want him to be proud of me.

One door closes, another opens

I walked out today. When I got to work and got my check, I discovered that Ken had "forgotten" my vacation pay once again. This is the 3rd check since the trip, he's just an ass. So I clocked in, and called him at home. "Just had a quick question for you, I was wondering why my vacation pay wasn't on this check either ?" He came up with some excuse about 'You didn't request it'...OH MY GOD!! I didn't "request" it last year when JP and I went to Mexico. But there it was. Gina spoke to him about it last week, and his answer was in the plural (you guys should have reminded me, I'll get them on the next checks). Funny thing is, Gina got hers on this check. I have no problem believing that he had forgotten it, but since I turned in my 2 weeks' notice on the 14th, and the end of the pay period is the 15th, I'm guessing he made a conscience decision to give Gina hers, and since I'm leaving anyway, I don't get mine. So I get off the phone after listening to his lies, clocked out, hugged Culleen and tossed my keys on the counter and walked out.

I came home and got out of that awful uniform for the last time, and Mom and I ran some errands. The most important one was the college visit. There's a Tech College here in D.L., they offer an Accounting program. I am going to start in the summer, take just 2 classes or so, get a feel for it, it has been 15 years since I went to school! I'm a little scared, but I had to get out of there. I'm excited about this, and I just hope JP can be supportive. I know it's going to be quite a shock to him, he didn't even know I had turned in my notice. We haven't had the chance to talk much in the last 2 weeks.

I mailed off another package to him today. I hope he gets the first one I sent soon. Hell, maybe he's gotten it already, and just hasn't been able to call and let me know. I also picked up a few little things to put in the next box for him. The one I mailed today was mostly munchies, this next one is pretty much toys, things to keep his occupied, and hopefully, laughing.

I have to do a lot of checking tomorrow, I have to find my options for financial aid. I know there's a program through the military, just for spouses, and I will be taking full advantage of that. Being unemployed, with my husband deployed, 3 kids, I should be able to get some help. I just want something better for my life.

An Interview!

Mom got a call today and went in for an interview at the Crisis Center. It's a director of something. I called in a favor from Sarah, she works at the Crisis Center, and used to be a manager with me. She was able to give mom some insight into the job, and the office. They say they will be deciding by the end of this week, or early next week. I really hope she gets this, it's a whole new field for her, but I think a change is just what she needs... not to mention a paycheck!

I am having a hard time being in a bad mood at work lately. Funny, ever since I put in my 2 weeks' notice, I don't mind it as much. Light at the end of the tunnel, no doubt. I still haven't told JP, haven't had the chance yet. I hope he gets his internet thing set up soon. I miss seeing him, I miss talking to him.

When things settle down, I have to redo the budget. I want to put a line on there for "savings". I'd like to have a good sized chunk of change in there for when JP gets home, to do whatever he wants. Either a nice family vacation, or a big remodeling project. Let him decide. I wish there was a way to keep it a secret from him, but he reads this occasionally, and he also has access to our online banking. So the cat's out of the bag, but maybe it will give him time to figure out what to do with it when he gets home.

When he gets home... I like the sound of that.

Not today

I didn't go to work today, I am sick. Emma stayed home, too. She and I have the same cough, and raw sore throat, and sneezing and runny nose. Wow, the works! I will go in tomorrow though, I don't want my final check to be a weenie one. I slept until shortly after 11 this morning, it was pretty nice.

I spent my afternoon yesterday, after working until 11 am, working on sorting through my scrapbooking area. I haven't touched it since I started working at McDonald's. So I'm a little over 3&1/2 years behind. I didn't realize till I started going through the stuff just how smart I was. When I realized that I would stop being a Consultant for CM, I spent my last bit of money buying their more expensive things, just to have on hand, things I knew I would eventually use. I have 5 albums, for example, and at $36 each, that's a nice bit to have socked away. As soon as I have everything gone through, I can start working on them again.

The Girl Scout Cookies arrived late last week, and I'm getting a package ready to send to JP. This package will be all about the munchies. I have decided to part with one of my 12 boxes of Thin Mints to send to him. He really loves them, too. Maybe I will set aside a few more boxes, and send him some every couple of weeks.

It's only a little after 7 pm, and I'm heading up to bed shortly here. Even with sleeping so late today, I'm just beat. I've started taking those Echinacia tablets, supposed to help get over a cold faster. I hope so, I just feel awful.

Things have been better with mom here, I don't have time to sit and wallow. She has been good for me, but I worry that taking care of us has taken all of her time. Yes, she is applying for jobs here and there, but I worry that she isn't giving it the attention it deserves because she's busy helping my family. But she has had some interest in her house, hopefully it will sell soon, that would just be a blessing. I worry about her, I just want everything to work out for her.

Moving on

I finally decided that it's time to move on. I have worked at McDonald's for 3 years and 7 months. It was supposed to be a paycheck until I found a real job. I had stopped looking. That was my first mistake. When I decided to leave, a few months ago, I had convinced myself that I could last a little longer. I was thinking of waiting until the kids were done with school. But I've done the math, and turns out, I don't have to wait. Even if JP's pay wasn't about to jump with all the extras of being in a war zone, we have enough to cover all the bills with just his checks. I told Ken on Friday, that my last day would be Friday, April 28th. I simply cannot wait to get up on Monday the 1st of May, and NOT go there.

I am looking for another job, I turned in an application for the part time licensing clerk for the DMV at Becker County. I will continue to look, and apply only for jobs that will work for me. In the fall, I do believe I will be going back to school for Accounting. With some sort of degree, finding the right job should be a little easier.

Mom and I got so much done this weekend. I had mentioned wanting some shelves put up in the hidden living room closet, and she had heard me whine about my pantry not being a very efficient use of the space. We completely gutted it, painted it, to lighten it up in there, and cut new shelves, bigger ones. I cannot believe the space we have in there now. Mom is very fond of JP's power tools. It was nice having two drivers, one for drilling a pilot hole, and one for screwing. She also seemed to have a good time with the table saw. I know the kids appreciated her using the air compressor, they had flat or low tires on their bikes, and it was a beautiful weekend for riding. We put Grandpa's shelves up in the living room, along the longest wall. They fit there as if he had built them for the space. In order to make it look right, we had to completely rearrange the living room though, but it looks so nice now. I filled the shelves with some of my favorite things, and it makes the room so much better. She also gave Eric and Emma shelves in their bedrooms, something they both needed. Eric and Alex also got curtains hung in their windows.

We also took the dogs for walks. Comet is doing so well, I even took Hailey and Comet together tonight. They walked side by side, with Comet closest to me, Hailey on the outside. They both did very well.

I heard from JP tonight, on the computer. It had been a week since we talked last. He doesn't know about my 2 week's notice. We didn't get to chat very long. He told me that he has gotten something set up to get internet in his room, which is nice, he won't have to go to the computer lab when we want to chat, and adds a bit of privacy for any webcam "dates" we may have a chance at! He says it should be up and running in the next few days.

I do have to get to bed, I have a short day at work tomorrow, 6-11 am, since the kids don't have school. Only 10 days left, then I'm free.

Done and done

The auction is over. She doesn't have to go back there. I haven't been to a whole lot of auctions, so I'm not sure what I was expecting, but I was hoping she would have made more money than that. She says it's ok, she has enough to cover her April bills.

JP is over there now. I got an email from him with his new mailing address. It's a good thing, too. I just got his birthday present in the mail yesterday. I download my pictures from the digital camera to the Kodak Gallery website, then I can order prints. They also have a feature where I can make calendars with my photos. And the calendars don't have to run January through December. So I made a calendar for JP with pictures of us, the kids, the dogs, everything he misses. I made it run from May of 06 to April of 07. I will be mailing that out tomorrow.

I found out that my jaw surgery will not happen until next summer, they need my braces to be almost done moving my teeth before they move my jaw. As it turns out, it's a good thing, too. The insurance we are on now, through the military will not cover it. Next summer, when JP is back, and we are back with the City's insurance company, they will cover it.

Mom and I are working on getting her settled in, still have alot to do. Her computer and TV need to be hooked up yet, and she still have stuff in the porch, but she's getting there, and soon, when she is all moved in, we are going to start on a few projects around here for me. We want to redo some shelving in the pantry and the hidden closet in the living room, make better use of the spaces.

Tomorrow I am applying for a job. It's for Becker County, it's in the DMV office. It's only 24 hours per week, but I like that, and the starting pay is at least $2.50 more than I'm making at McDonald's. I've got to try, got to do something. I can't stay there much longer without wigging out and end up swearing at a customer and walking out. I'm just so sick of it. Just burned out, I guess.

I wish JP would call. I miss the sound of his voice. I miss the feel of his arms around me, but a phone call can't fix that, so I will settle for his voice. I hate the fact that when we do talk, he can't say much. Operations Security prohibits him from giving any details of pretty much everything. I haven't talked to him since last weekend.

settling in

My mouth is getting better. My cheeks are getting used to the brackets, not quite as sore the last couple of days as they were right after the 'installation'. I am getting better at chewing, too. I even had the All-you-can-eat fried shrimp at Bonanza in St. Cloud Friday night.

Mom, Alex and I got so much done this weekend at her place. The house is almost completely void of all things mom is keeping. Just a few last minute things I will grab next weekend when I go down for the auction. The majority of the cleaning is done, too. I have to spend the night Friday in the empty house to be there Saturday morning for the carpet cleaner to come in. Mom left me a pile of blankets and comforters so I can camp out somewhere.

JP called tonight just as we were finishing dinner. He told me that he is going to re-enlist while he's over there. I knew he was going to, when he gets back from this deployment he will have 18 years in, and we were planning on him finishing out the 20. If he re-enlists while he's over there, not only is he eligible for the bonus, but also, since he is in a foreign country, a freaking war zone, all income is tax free. That means that any signing bonus will come straight here, do not pass Uncle Sam, they do not get to collect $200 (or however much they think they should get to take of it!) I guess if he's gotta do it, at least they can do is give him the damn money to make it worth his while. I just don't know how recruiters can get anyone to sign up for the Guards these days. The pay sucks, and gee, chances are pretty good that you will have to leave your loved ones for a good year, year and a half, and go into a war. I bet those guys down at the armory are just beatin' em off with a stick. War is just not good advertising for joining the Guard. If I cared at all, I'd almost feel bad for those guys just trying to do their jobs. But I don't care. I hope their job is hard, I hope they can't get a single person signed up. If I thought I could get away with it, I'd picket the armory. Have a big sign saying "Sign your life away LITERALLY... Apply within". Then again, would those silly little 18 yr old boys get my sarcasm?

Tomorrow I am going to see about my jaw surgery. I want mom to go with me. The appointment is in Fargo at 2:30 though. The kids would most likely get home before we would. I hope I can convince her that they can go to the community center and swim for awhile after they get home from school. I'd rather not go alone. I'd like her input on the whole thing.

Time to go to bed. Even tho I don't have to work tomorrow, I still have to get up early to get the kids going.

What a pain in the mouth!

Chewing is really a wonderful thing. People take it for granted. When it hurts to chew, say, because you have these metal brackets attached to each tooth with a wire running between them pulling your teeth in directions they don't want to go... it can be a bit painful.

The kids have been doing great on their homework and chores. Thanks to mom, of course. She drives them much better than I do. I just don't have the energy she does. Some days I feel older than she is.

JP and I have a great system worked out for talking to each other. He calls, lets it ring once, then hangs up. Then I use my phone card and call him back. Last night around 10, just as I was about to curl up in bed, the bedside phone rang once. How nice to be able to talk to him just before I snuggled down to sleep. He can't say too much, no details of anything, even something as trivial as his living conditions. He was able to tell me that he saw camels yesterday. Of course, when we talk at night here, he's just gotten up at 4-5 a.m. the next morning. So as I'm getting ready for bed, I ask him "So what did you do today?" he can reply with "Nothing, I just woke up!"

Our friend Nancy is coming down to mom's to see us this weekend. We will probably have a few drinks to say goodbye. Alex will be the only kid along, and we are thinking of bringing Zoey and my "little" Comet, too. Nancy loves our goldens, and she hasn't seen Comet since she was just a little bugger. She is now the biggest of the 4 dogs. And such beautiful golden blond curls! She really is georgous. And such a well behaved girl, too. And very smart. She learns things very quickly. She can sit, stay, come, heel, shake, and she understands commands like "Get out of the kitchen" and "Go lay down" and "Kennel" which is something she is hearing less of. The kennel used to be her bed, and her daytime place when nobody was home. Now that she's older (and bigger) she is gaining my trust, and can be loose in the house.

Well, time to crack the whip, kids are goofing around, and there are chores to be finished up, and tests to study for. A mother's job is never done... just ask mine! She is the best ever. Best mom, Best friend, Best child wrangler... you name it, she's the best at it!!

Not so long

I was really worried that it would be weeks before I heard from JP. Last night at 11, as I was about to drift off to sleep, he called from Kuwait. I forgot the main rule about calls like that ALWAYS SAY YOUR 'I LOVE YOU's AT THE BEGINNING OF THE CALL!! You never know when you will get cut off. I forgot, we didn't say it, and we got cut off. I went to sleep in tears.

He called my cell phone this morning. As luck would have it, I was standing right next to it, even though I was at work, and I grabbed it and told my boss"Sorry, it's my husband, don't be an ass" and walked away. He was calling to give me the best news. He found a way for his cell phone to still work over there. He has some kind of plan that has 60 minutes of calling time, but 200 minutes of incoming call time. So I went and bought an international calling card, and in a few minutes, I will use it and see if I can call my husband.

I had a pretty crappy day at work, but when I got home, even though I was very tired, the kids were working away on their chores, and their homework. It inspired me to push through the exhaustion and get my laundry done, go to the grocery store, and run out to cellone and cancel JP's cell modem hookup.

Tomorrow morning I will be getting metal glued to my teeth. (How do they really put them on? Is it glue?) I guess it's a small price to pay (NO, it isn't!) in the big picture of life, this is a short time to have to deal with braces.

I'm going to go make a phone call now before I go to bed, and see if I can wake my husband up. I think they're about 9 hours ahead of us.

since you been gone

outta my head, can't take it... sorry, heard that song on the radio coming home from mom's today.
We left Hailey and Comet at home, Gina came and puppy sat for me. Friday after work we went as far as St. Cloud. We managed to get a bit done Friday night, sorting things into keep, sell or toss. Saturday morning I got Emma and Eric up early, and they went with me to Albert Lea for the memorial service for Ray's mom. I knew I would be getting a phone call from JP sometime that day, and didn't want to be with them when the call came in. He was going to call when they left Shelby and started their long drive/flight to Iraq.

We left A.L. early, about 1 in the afternoon. I got the call from JP at 2:26, as I was on I-94 north of the Cities. As soon as I saw his name on the cell, I started crying. He was sitting on a bus waiting to head out to Gulfport. From there, they were flying to Maine, and after fueling, over to Germany. Then to Kuwait. I cried a bit, not too bad just talking to him, but at the end when I have to say the word "goodbye" THAT'S when it gets tough. For some reason, that word just chokes me up. He called again around 5:30 from the hanger in Gulfport, and again shortly after 11pm from the terminal in Bangor, Maine. That was it. Nothing now until he gets settled in his new "home".

The one nice thing was that today, after our last phone call last night, I was so busy with mom and her stuff that I didn't have time to think much about it until we started driving home. I had Emma and Eric with me, Alex was in the truck with mom. The kids kept busy, quiet and to themselves, which gave me all sorts of time to do nothing but think. Then, of course, certain songs on a CD or even the radio would cause me to burst into tears.

But then we got back here and there were 2 vehicles to unload, supper to make, laundry to move, and I find myself finally with a few minutes again, and I am trying to stay busy so I don't have time to cry. I know eventually I will completely let go and have a good cry, but not today, I don't have time.

Speaking of not having time, now I have to go move some more laundry, and get things ready for tomorrow. The kids all need showers tonight, and homework has to be checked and put away. It's only a little after 7 and I could go to bed at any time. I remember this from Bosnia, I was sleeping alot, maybe trying to do a Rip Van Winkle... not a bad idea.

So the countdown begins... 364 days until he returns. I have it marked on the calendar on my fridge, so I will always know how many days, and I also have the weeks listed too.
Too many, that's all.

There's no place like home

I'm finally updating, after the long drive home, I needed a few days to recover. We left Hattiesburg around 3 in the afternoon on Monday. We drove straight through. With some bad weather, we arrived home at almost 6 on Tuesday night. I am not able to sleep in a moving vehicle. So I was awake for roughly 38 hours. I went to bed Tuesday around 9, and had to work at 8 a.m. Wednesday. I was a zombie. Completely worthless.

The kids all had a ton of make-up work to do for school. Mom and I worked with them last night from 4 to supper time, then back at it after supper until almost 10. Tonight isn't quite as bad, but they still all had plenty to do before supper.

JP called last night. He says they will be heading out on Saturday. I don't even know how to express how much it hurts my heart. I just don't want him to go. I hate not getting my way. He told me that they were learning some new things yesterday. They learned how to put an IV into someone. They learned a bunch of basic medical things. I started to cry when he told me about it, because it suddenly hit me that he is going somewhere where he really may need to use that knowledge. Or have it used on him.

I am still trying to recover from my lack of sleep. I'm just glad that my ankles have gone back down to their original size. After all that time in the KIA, they were enormous.

Having mom here has already proven to be the right place at the right time. Who would I talk to, who's shoulder would I literally cry on if she were not here? She says she doesn't know what to do for me, what to do to help me. She doesn't understand that she's already doing it. Just be here. Let me keep a thin film of denial over my eyes, but pull it back once in a while in small controlled amounts. And be there when I freak out at the reality.

First day in FLA

Our first day in Florida can be described in one word... although I will ellaborate. That one word? LOBSTERS. Our milky white Minnesota skin is in shock after months of not seeing the sun... too much of a good thing too quickly. Bring on the aloe!!

We started the day slowly. Lounged in bed, kept the kids waiting. They wanted beach and they wanted it NOW! We finally got it together and walked down to the public beach area. The first hour or so was spent OOO-ing and WOWing over found shells in the surf. The kids were thrilled to hear that I would allow them to bring some home. Then the piling began. I have reminded them several times today that we will go through the shells at the end of the trip, and narrow down the selections. There is no way we are bringing 35 lbs of shells back to Minnesota. First off, where the hell would we put them? The KIA is very packed, especially when we get JP in there, too. It was tight on the way down, but it was almost unbearable from Mississippi to here. We are off now, after dinner. It's St. Patrick's Day, and were going to sit outside and have a few drinks. Right here at the hotel, keep the kids as far away from the drinking spring breakers as possible. Skanky lookin' girls and guys who think they are God's gift to the female anatomy are just not what my kids need to see too much of. Wow, I'm getting old, I actually scowled at some guys today for their potty mouths in front of my kids.

We went to a crab shack for lunch, then back to the hotel where the kids jumped in the pool for the hottest part of the day, stayed in shady areas. Late afternoon was back to the beach, more shells. We were all pretty red by then. We came back to the hotel and cleaned up, then went to dinner. That brings us to now

The trip is costing alot, but I knew it would. I am trying not to worry, but I can't help it. I know what it's going to be like when I get home, back to reality, and I don't think JP has a concept of it. I doubt he's thinking of it, I don't blame him. But I'm about ready to start ordering soup and water for my meals to balance everything out. Maybe I'm just being paranoid, but I would rather be paranoid than wrong, and screwed in debt here.

Time to crack open a Mike's and enjoy the night air, it is lovely.

FLORIDA BABY!!

After a few days of crappy Mississippi, we headed to Florida last night. We arrived in the dark, found our hotel, got some drinks, sat by the pool and just relaxed. The kids' main concern was getting into their suits and jumping in the pool. It was chilly, they said, but worth it!

Today should be better, it's already in the upper 70's, and it's only 8:30 in the morning. I don't know yet what our plans are for the day, a whole lot of relaxing, I'm sure. I do know that the kids want to walk on the beach and collect shells. We should do that soon, before they're all gone, picked clean by other visitors. But I just can't seem to get JP out of bed. I think he's finally realized that he can rest and be a lazy bum. After so long with Army idiots telling him what to do and when to do it, I figured it would take him a day or so to get used to doing his own thing in his own time again. I'm willing to let him, too. It's nice to see him so relaxed. He deserves it.

Our hotel is pretty decent. That was my biggest worry. I had found them online, and even tho they had pics, I was worried that it was misleading etc. Turns out it's pretty nice here. Both rooms have little kitchenettes, so we can do a little cooking here, save some money that way. All the beds have those memory foam mattresses, very nice. It's a little "spring break"y here though, some people above Gina and the kids were up all night partying. I think my kids need to be loud and have fun at the pool early this morning. It's right outside all the rooms, in the center of the motel. I'm sure those hung over drunks won't mind 3 loud kids... jerks.

Obviously, our hotel also has internet, so I should be able to post each night of our vacation. It will be nice to have it here to look back on when I miss him alot. Right now he is on the bed behind me watching that show on TLC that he likes. I almost wish this motel didn't have TVs in the room. When we were in Mexico, our hotel didn't have one, and it was nice. JP and I spent more time together, out there doing things. I worry that he will want to spend a ton of time in here vegging in front of the TV. But then again, is he sitting there wishing I'd get my ass off the computer?
gotta go!

I Do, Again

I picked up my wedding ring today. If possible, I think it's even more beautiful. Maybe it's just because it's so clean. It hasn't been for a long time. They replaced the Tiffany setting for the main diamond, and replaced the missing one with the one from mom and dad. They also fixed the prongs on the six outer diamonds, so they won't pop out either. Then they soldered the sides down, one side had bent up years ago, and of course I didn't do anything about it.
I just can't stop looking at it. I forgot how beautiful it was, I'm so happy to have it back.

I helped Emma get packed today. Her bag is done, and now is in my room, so she can't add any unnecessary items to it. I already took out a bunch of crap that was just taking up space. And she hadn't packed enough clothes either, so I helped her pick out a few other things to bring along. I did the same with Eric, he's just got one pair of jeans in the dryer that need to go into his bag, then he's done, too.
I have mine pretty much done, just a few last minute things I need to add. I also have a bag just for bathroom things, and I will pack that Sunday after I shower and use it.

I have to get the maps together yet, and the printouts from the hotels. I have a little booklet ready for that, to keep it all together in the KIA. I also cleaned that out today, while the girls were outside playing. I have to get the cooler out there, make sure we can plug that in the AC outlet somewhere without having a cord running across the kids. I have to go to the grocery store tomorrow to pick up the last minute things, I thought Lunchables would be good for the kids for lunches, small, entirely garbage when done, easy to fit in the cooler.

I have to bring the budget book along, since a payday falls in there. How nice, to sit on the beach, sipping a daquiri and pay bills. I guess it beats sitting HERE and doing it.

Maybe I'll add more later, JP is on IM now...

I talked to JP a bit. After this many years together, I'm amazed at how much we think alike. He told me I should shovel snow away from the house on the west side, to help minimize the flooding. I had already had Alex out there doing it on Thursday. That happens alot, he suggests something that I've already done, or checked into. Like the proof of insurance and vehicle registration for the KIA that I will need to show at the gate to Camp Shelby. I knew that from the Thanksgiving visit, so I had already checked into it, and yes, I have the paper. He asked yesterday if I could find it. It's just another indication that he and I belong together. We think alike.

Did you hear that Army??? He and I BELONG TOGETHER!! STOP FUCKING WITH IT!! He and I were meant to be together, not hundreds of miles apart only able to communicate by computer or telephone. I know that he had the military before he had me, but one day, one day very soon, he will tell you to screw off, and he will spend the rest of his life with me. I win.

Bad reports, bad day

Tonight was conferences for all 3 kids.
I went to Alex's first. There isn't much improvement to report. But there will be. I talked with Mrs. Harrier and Mr. Zamzo, his homeroom teacher and his math teacher. We are working on a plan to involve me more, using the internet and emails and somehow I feel like I'm taking the 6th grade all over again. Well, whatever it takes, just so Alex doesn't have to take the 6th grade over again!
Eric was next. His spelling is still a concern, his reading has greatly improved, and his temper issues came to a head just yesterday. I am working with the councelor to get Eric seen by a child psychologist first, and if that's not the problem, then it's off to see a medical doctor. I don't know if it's an emotional problem or a chemical imbalance, but it has to be fixed, and soon.
My last visit was with Emma's teacher and the school speech therapist. Emma is reading at a grade and a half above her current grade level. Her science needs a bit more at home attention, and her attention span is lacking, usually after a visit from or to daddy. Mrs. Moen noticed it in September, right after JP left, and again in January after he left. She is concerned that this trip to see him next week will send her back into her downward spiral. Also when Emma returns to school, she will start seeing the speech therapist twice a week to work on her "r"s and her "s"s. right now she sounds like a combination of Elmer Fudd and Cindy Brady.
All in all, it was a hideous night. Not even mentioning Comet peeing on the rug because I was running all over for conferences and forgot to get the girls outside.

And then there's the spring thaw in the downstairs bedroom. The room mom was about to move into. Thank god she hadn't yet, or we'd have to move her OUT before we could do any repairs. The carpet will have to come up and most likely some of the drywall will have to come off. I don't know why things happen like this when he leaves... Murphy's Law kicking my butt yet again.

I did get one bit of happy today. I got my scooby doo watch in the mail. It's perfect. Oh, and since JP, mom and Tamie are the only ones who read this, I guess it's ok to mention the other thing I got today that made me happy. Got a visit from bitchy aunt flo, so at least she will be gone by next Tuesday when I see JP. She will not be joining us on the beaches of Florida!! YIPPEE!

The kids don't have school tomorrow, and I work a short shift in the morning. I'm going to get some errands run tomorrow, including getting the KIA in for her physical. I didn't hear from the jewelry store about my ring today, so I'm going to stop in tomorrow when I get off work to see if it's done. I want it done so I can wear it down to see him.

I have to go to bed, I work at 6 a.m. Someday my life will be normal. Someday my life will be calm. Someday my life will be uneventful. If I keep saying it, maybe I will believe it.

Good Report

I got an A from the dentist today. And a green light for my braces on the 28th...yippee. Alex got a good report, too. He has 6 baby teeth left, and 4 of them are either very loose, or will be coming out shortly. No cavities, though, good boy! Emma has one little cavity on a baby tooth. It's not a tooth that's coming out soon, so Dr. Erik suggested a filling. Eric has a cavity between 2 of his baby teeth, also not coming out soon, so two fillings are required there. I will call tomorrow to make their appointments.

I called today to make the KIA's check up before the big drive. She will go in Friday afternoon for an oil change, tire rotation, fluid fill, everything they can think of! I wonder if they do cleaning, too! Interior detailing would be great!

My wedding ring should be done tomorrow. The lady at the jeweler's was very impressed with the diamond I brought in to have set in my ring. It was the diamond that dad picked for mom over 35 years ago. She said he had very good taste, it was "an exquisite stone, virtually flawless". I think dad should know that. Plus I think he deserves to know that the diamond will now be worn every day by a woman he loves... as he intended it to be.

I had a message on my voicemail tonight from my aunt Diane. She had tried to call mom, but her phone has been disconnected. I never call her land line, so I guess she decided she didn't need it anymore. Diane was hoping that mom was up here already. Mom had told me that Diane was wondering when mom's auction would be, that she would like to come up for it. I hope she doesn't find out when it is. I understand mom's feeling on this one. I would be a bit hurt by that request, too. Diane never managed to make it up to mom's when things were going well, to celebrate the family get-together last summer. But now, when mom is at a low point in her life, Diane is eager to come and watch like some disgusting rubber-necker at a car accident. I'm sure Diane does not mean it that way, but I can see how it looks like that to mom.

JP called tonight. I think he's getting anxious. He already talked me into leaving a day sooner than I had originally planned. I think if he had his way, we'd be there NOW.
Today is the 15 year anniversary of JP's and my first date. I love him so much, he remembered. He knew what the day was, and he knows it is a very special day to me. If nothing else in my life, at least I can say I met and married the original Mr. Right.

I've decided to wait to leave McDonald's until the kids get out of school. Their last day is Friday, May 26th. I'm pretty sure that will be my last day there. Hopefully by then I will have more information on Menard's. Or maybe a little info on the tech school and their accounting classes. Wow, I will look silly, braces and college... middle aged men get convertibles and little blond bimbo arm candies to go through their midlife crises, I go the metal mouth co-ed geek route. I think somehow I'm getting the shaft!

Hailey and Comet need to go out and I need to go to bed. Hopefully JP will let me use his laptop next week so I can update this while we are in Mississippi and Florida.

Counting the days

I think it's a good thing that I've got so much going on this week, otherwise I think the week would take forever to get done! Tomorrow the kids and I have dentist's appointments. Thursday night I have conferences for all 3 kids. Friday is the Parent's game with the U10 girls. Saturday is, I think, the final hockey game. We aren't sure because we don't know if Bagley even has a team! If they do, we will play them, if not, our girls have the ice, so maybe a rematch against the parents!

Mom is coming up on Thursday with a load of stuff, spending the night, then taking Alex back with her. They will spend the day Friday packing stuff up, then come back up here on Saturday. We have two weekends after we get back from Florida before her auction, and I think we will spend those weekends down at her place, packing, sorting and cleaning. I'd love it if either mom's tax woman or someone who comes to the auction would make an offer on her house. Even better- how about a bidding war between tax lady and some random auction attendee! I know it would make her sad, but I think the load off her shoulders and mind (not to mention budget!) would more than make up for that.

I have started packing, clothes and kids' fun bag stuff. I still want to make a packet of things like driving directions, hotel information and the Shelby itinerary. I let Gina drive the KIA last night. Sort of a practice run. I think she will be fine. I was even able to make a couple of cell calls while she was driving.

I'm a little worried about my girls being naughty for mom. I know how Hailey likes to run off before coming in for the kids. I think she does it to the kids because they rush the girls. Mom knows better. I'm also hoping that Zoey and Kate will help keep my girls in line.

I can't wait to see him. Just to see him and throw my arms around his neck and kiss him. I know I will have to wait my turn though... the kids can run faster than me! I worry a little about Gina feeling left out of the whole "family" thing. But the kids just love her, and she does understand what her role in this trip is, hell, she suggested it!

We leave in 5 days. I will be in his arms in less than 7 days (its 7 days from today... minus about 10 hours!!) I miss him so much that it hurts. Well, normally, it hurts, this week, it's just incredible excitement... I can't wait!!

Hockey tournament

The end of the tournament, finally! The girls played 3 games, 2 yesterday and one today. They lost all 3. And yet, at the end, when they were presented with their medals, they were the happiest girls I've ever seen. They have 2 practices this week, and the Parent's game is Friday night. I know Emma wishes her daddy could be there for that. I hope I will do. Their last game is Saturday. Then hockey season is over!!

I didn't get to see her Saturday tournament games, I have been sick. I would drop her off at the door, go home and go to bed. I'd set an alarm to get up and be there in time to pick her up after the game. I still feel like crap, but I went to the game today. They were playing Alexandria, so I figured if I was only going to see one game, it should be the one they have a chance of winning. They beat Alex twice in the regular season, but not this time. Emma almost scored a goal though. I have a deal with her, that I will give her $10 for every goal she scores in a game. She was pretty close today.