S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y night

You know, that song, where they spell it out at the start?
Ok, ok, so I'm a dork, let me be!
and yes, I know it's not officially Saturday NIGHT, it's only Saturday afternoon, but cripes, they didn't make a song for Saturday Afternoon!

I haven't really done a bloody thing all day. It's been my official slack ass day here. I have only left my bedroom for the mail and smoke breaks. I like it here, it's comfortable, quiet and I have everything I need: laptop, Diet Pepsi, box of Kleenex (still fighting that cold!), the 3rd season of Sex and the City and Rolling Stone magazine.

Tomorrow will be a day to accomplish things, maybe. The Vikings play, so it may be another slack ass day, too. I can't tell now, ask me later. Monday is looking rather interesting though. My 11 am Comp Tech class was cancelled, the instructor has a funeral to go to. I think I will still go in and use the computer there though, for the assignment that should have been due Monday, but is now pushed back to Wednesday. I have a Student Senate meeting at noon on Monday, then Accounting, which is a test and Payroll, which is reviewing the test we took in there on Friday.

Essentially, I have a long weekend with no homework, so maybe that's why the slack ass in me is coming out in full force. I am going to have to get dressed at some point, I want snacks in my utopia bedroom. I may have to run to the store. I am hungry, so this could get ugly.

I got a lot of shopping done lately. Gift shopping. I got Emma's birthday gifts, a couple of gameboy games, I got a gift for Mom's birthday, even though it's still 6 weeks away. I found something that was cool, that she will like, so rather than wait and freak out gift-less at the last minute, I grabbed it. I even got myself a little gift, something to wear when JP gets home. (Get your mind OUT of the gutter!) It's a pretty red shirt to wear when I pick him up at the airport. Yes, I know that is still almost 3 mos away, but I like to be prepared!

Nothing incredible or exciting to report this time, except that I think Gina and I are going to go pay Tank a visit and get new tattoos. I'm lopsided, uneven, and it's just not right. I want one on my right hip bone to balance. I have something for me on my left hip, JP is all over my backside (oh, how I wish that were true!) and so I'm thinking of getting something with the kids' names on my right hip bone.

That's all for today, being a slack ass day, I'm surprised I posted at all!!

Another year, come and gone

As of yesterday (the "crappy day") I became a 34 year old woman. This is actually the best time to reflect back on the last year. This last year has been the hardest, most trying, most scary and most rewarding one I've had since I don't know when!

Last year on my birthday, JP and were apart most of the day, I went to a Twins game with my dad, and he took Alex across the state to an academic meeting. We had spent the night before my birthday together, in a snotty hotel in downtown Minneapolis, courtesy of my brother, and it was wonderful. Three days later, he was gone. Three days later, I stood in an airfield on a military base and watched him board a bus. It was midnight, it was cold, and I was trying not to sob.

Since I turned 33, I found out that I can fix a dishwasher. I can even do some plumbing. I can use power tools better than most men (except Scott in Oregon) and I can build anything I want to out of wood. I can fix a bed that has irritated me for 2 years. I can hang 6 foot shelves and hit a stud every damn time. I can build a pantry and install a cupboard and counter top. I can do all of this with my best friend, my (literally!) partner in crime, my Mom. I believe I could do these things by myself, but I choose not to. I like her help, and I want her help. She has helped teach me what I can do.

I learned in the last year that if you don't like your situation in life-change it! If you have a job you hate, do something about it! I learned that' it's never too late to be what you might have been.' that is a quote from George Eliot, by the way, not mine. I learned that plagiarism is not cool. ;-) from my English Comp teacher this summer. I felt for the first time what a perfect grade feels like when it's mine. 4.0 GPA feels just fine. I know it won't last, but for now, it is lovely.

I learned that however I feel about my husband being gone, my children feel it deeper and yet more on the surface than any adult. Their sorrow and anguish is right there, in their every action, every word some days; other days, it is the farthest thing from their minds. I like those days better. I don't want my childrens' days filled with sorrow. I learned that they feed off of my moods. If I can disguise my sorrow, theirs will not cut them as deep.

A year from now, I hope I can say I have learned new things. I hope to see that the wounds that cut my children will heal, having their family intact will make them whole again. I hope my husband finds his wife with her new discoveries to be more exciting and interesting, at the very least, I hope that we will love each other as much together as we do apart; as much as we have for the past 16 years.

It's a crappy day

Rain, drizzle, cloudy, cold.
Not the type of fall day that I love.
I spent the weekend being sick, still am, but that didn't stop me from doing stuff.
Saturday I went out to Dave's and while mom was getting supper prep started, Dave took me for a ride on his 4 wheeler. It was a lot of fun, and I'd like to do it again, when it's nicer and when I'm not sick. We had great steaks for dinner, then I headed for home.
I got a lot of homework done this weekend, I was surprised at how much I got done. I converted my photo album table into a homework area, and now that I have a place to work uninterrupted, it has been working very well. If I have to get up and leave it for something, I don't have to pack it all in, I can leave it lay, open to where I was.

I gave the kids a ride to school this morning, too chilly and rainy to sit on the corner and wait for the bus. Then I ran over to the library to print off some things I needed for class at 11, and printed something for Alex, too. He thinks my flashdrive is cool, and therefore, since I know how to use it, I'm cool, too. I'm thrilled. Well, no sarcasm, I was glad I was able to do it for him, happy that I know how to use a few computer things.

I even got to watch the Vikings play yesterday. It was a very exciting and exasperating game. It went into overtime, and again, Longwell saved it for us, 2nd week in a row we have won by a field goal. Oh well, a win is a win, and by the way, that would be win #2. The Vikings are undefeated this year. I forgot how much I missed it, didn't watch it last year. I thought I needed JP around to enjoy football (no, just need him around to enjoy baseball).

I'd like to take a nap, but I have to shower and get things ready for school, I have class from 11 to 3 today, with little to no time in between for lunch, so I will have to grab something to put in my bag and eat in the hall between classes.

I have a box just for wishes, and dreams that have never come true. The box is empty, except for the memory of how they were answered by you. I love you honey, with all my heart, every single day. I cannot wait until you come home to us. We all miss you so much.
Love you hon,
Nik

I have a cold

Sonuvabitch!

I'm sick. I was just starting to think my allergies were leaving me, and I would finally be able to breathe again. But just when you thought it was safe to go unmedicated... A whole new kind of drug is necessary now. I've moved on from Tylenol Severe Allergy to Tylenol Severe Cold. What is the difference, you may ask? Far as I can tell, about $2. I skipped my Business Law class this morning because I just couldn't bring myself to get out of bed. I did however, make it to my Accounting and Payroll classes this afternoon. I went through the half-full box of Kleenex that I had brought along in just over 2 hours. I went to the grocery store and bought more. My nostrils were raw and red and sore already, so I splurged and bought the Puffs with aloe and lotions and all sorts of soft comfy rub-my-nose features. I grabbed two boxes, just in case. As it turns out, it was a good thing, I went through the first box is 6 hours flat.

AN ENTIRE BOX OF PUFFS IN 6 HOURS!! Yeah, you may think it's funny, but it's snot.

see, sick as a dog, and I'm still the funniest person you know.

Following the advice of the wise Emma Jenkins, I have slathered Vick's vapor rub on my feet and put socks on over that mess. For good measure, I also put some on my neck and have been reapplying it to my upper lip as needed. I am trying to figure out how to sleep upright, since gravity seems to be my only friend. Sit up, snot down, breathe through a minimum of one nostril, sometimes even both!! Lay down, snot everywhere, clogging airways, breath through mouth and wake up with blown insulation crusty mouth.

I have awful kids, 'nuf said, for now anyway.
I'm feeling fuddy and snoddy and I do dnod like talking like dis. Beig snoddy bmakes peepo talk fuddy.
Good nidt.

The Vikings, a date and a Senate Secretary

Tonight is the first game of the Viking's season. It's a Monday night game, they're playing Washington. I'm online while watching it because JP got up at 3 a.m. to "watch" it with me. I am not chatting with him NOW, because his internet is pretty sketchy, and he goes offline without notice, then pops back in minutes later.

I got myself into something new today. I ended up being one of the 2 required students from the Accounting program in the Student Senate. The first meeting of the year was today, and it was all about voting for new officers. Somehow I ended up being unanimously voted as the Secretary. Ok, fine, it takes up about an hour or so of my time per week, and it looks good on a resume someday.

I should be working on my homework, or at the very least studying for my accounting test tomorrow, but I can always do that later tonight.

Rough night, miss you honey

Some nights are easy, a little solitaire, a little reading, and off to dreamland.
Then there are nights like this.
I don't want to play mindless games, I don't want to read some smut novel about other men's quivering members, and dreamland has turned into either nightmares or just plain weird shit.
I want my husband to cuddle up to. I want him to keep me warm, I want to put my cold toes between his thighs, even though he screams like a girl when I do. Oh, to hell with it, I miss the sex. Webcam sex is not the same. He knows it and I know it, and it just plain sucks. It's not the real thing, not even close. I miss his broad shoulders, and the warmth of him. I miss the way he smells, like ... like man, ya know? Not sweaty and dirty persay, but just musky and sexy, like a man, not just any man, MY man. I miss having him spoon me, and wrap me up in his arms, and on cold fall mornings, waking up in his arms, which are always the right temperature, not too hot so I want to get up out of bed, just warm enough to convince me that there is no better place on earth, that I should never leave the warmth and protection of his big arms wrapped around me.
THAT, that is what I need tonight.
Can't have it, that's the pisser.
I just want him back.

Back to School, back to sanity

They all filed out yesterday morning, little buggers!! Off to start another year.
They didn't get out before I took the obligatory First Day Photo, though!! I will post it as soon as I get it uploaded.
As soon as they were gone, I took Mom out for breakfast and we celebrated surviving the summer!
My classes are going good, the one class I was a bit afraid of, Intro to Computer Tech isn't looking too scary, neither is the teacher. I had heard stories of him, the great Computer Ogre... No, more like big goofy 'don't piss me off' guy. I don't plan to piss him off, so I think he and I will get along fine.

Alex is happy, his teachers all seem good, his Math teacher is Ms Stewie... Like the kid on Family Guy, which is Alex's favorite show. Emma is not happy, but when is she? Honestly? She has too many boys in her class, and no friends. Eric is okay with it so far, even though he has a fish kid in his class.

Emma got new glasses, Alex just got a new prescription for his lenses, same frames. Turns out he should have gotten new frames, too, he is growing too damn fast. I think he can go until Christmas though, give me a chance to save up some money.

Bad things going on in JP's neighborhood have got me very... Aware lately. On edge. I don't like it. It doesn't help that I'm in class during the best times to talk to JP, so I haven't talked to him in a few days. Not since before he went to TQ for the memorial service of a guy he knew who was killed. They're having a memorial here in town Thursday night, I'm thinking of going, if I can. Mom has to work, and it's at 9 p.m., and I will not take the kids to something like that. This guy, Josh was killed by an IED, and JP talked to one of the other guys in the vehicle who did manage to get out. I wish he hadn't talked to him. I don't think I want him having any visuals to live with for the rest of his life, his long, happy, with-his-family life. I worry with the way he keeps things in, and doesn't talk about what bothers him, will these thoughts sit and fester and eat away at him? I know, he's a big strong man, and he's tough, but he's mine, and I don't want anything bad to be even remotely near him, physically or mentally. I just want to hug him.

I love you honey, I miss you so much. I cannot even put into words how much I wish you were right here beside me. If you were, you can be damn sure I wouldn't be typing either! Or crying.
Or dressed ;-)

It's finally September, and I am one turtle short

Days are passing, that's nice. One year ago, I was dreading the end of September, because it would mean JP is leaving. Now all I can do is wish that it would be the end of the month NOW, so I could write in here "Wow, it's October already!!". He has been gone almost a year. There have been a lot of changes here in the last year. His wife used to be employed, now she is not, she is a college student, his son has started (and stopped, several times) dating. His daughter has gone from goof, to employed and amazing, to awful and unruly; really hit both ends of the spectrum with full force. His youngest son has gone from angry and moody to cheerful and employed. His (ok, they're MINE) dogs have grown up and grown some manners. His house looks different and is changing all the time. I hope he will be either amazed and happy with the changes, or at the very least willing to accept and adapt to them.

Now, on to the dilemma of the day: I am a turtle short. Shaggy, the oft-forgotten member of the family, a western box turtle is missing. He lives in a 55 gallon fish tank, no water, a pelt of fake lawn and a dish for fruits and veggies, and a shallow watering hole. I went to the grocery store this morning, and while there getting the essentials for us, I grabbed a cut fruit platter for "the Shagman" as we lovingly refer to him. I was busy unloading groceries, putting things in the fridge when I came upon the fruit. I tossed it to Alex, told him to give Shagman some, and check his water, too. He came back upstairs and practically yelled at me "Where is Shaggy?" (as if I had stolen him and was holding him ransom somewhere) Alex had this wide eyed disbelief thing going on, as I asked him what he was talking about, and followed him down to see that, in fact, the Shagman had indeed flown the coop. It is impossible for a turtle to leave the confines of that tank. The sides are a good 18 inches high. Turtles do not climb. Someone had to let him out "for exercise" and forgot him... And he wandered off. Logic takes over, and I instruct Alex to start looking under furniture, in corners, FIND HIM.

It is now an hour later, and I don't know what to say. Shaggy is the incredible disappearing turtle. Gone.

I'm guessing we will find him someday when the stench leads us to his final resting place. I find that sad, and it makes me angry because some irresponsible kid left Shaggy out to 'play' and then just forgot about him. Who? Your guess is as good as mine, I can easily see any of the 3 doing that.

I can't do this, I have to find that turtle... Will keep you posted.

With friends like this...

I met a girl named Corin in my summer class, she is 19, and we have/had a mutual friend, a girl who worked with me at McShithole a few years ago. Corin is nice, a bit ( A LOT) chatty, but whatever, some people just talk a lot... And very fast.

She is having boyfriend issues, and I feel like since she can't smother him anymore (he just broke up with her for smothering him--go figure) now she's decided that I am the next (victim) best thing... I have homework to do tonight, I was online going though emails and she just called. I was planning on clearing my in box, then hitting the books. Now I'm guessing I will be spending the evening listening to her talk constantly about what went wrong (I could tell her, I mean, I KNOW WHAT WENT WRONG, but I'm just too nice a person). Thing is, I may have to dump her just like Brandon did, otherwise I will not be able to get my homework done. I hate to do it, she is nice, although a bit clingy, but I am paying for this education, and dammit, I want to actually get it!!

I have enough friends, ya know? Gina, Char, they're good friends. They don't do the drama that usually goes away with age. They're older and settled, and mature. I don't see why Corin thinks I'm so wonderful, for crying out loud, we have NOTHING in common except that we are both going for our associate degrees in accounting. I am married, settled, children, mortgage, minivan. She is living with her parents, bitching about her wicked step-mother and crying about losing a boyfriend who, frankly, isn't worth crying over.

Ugh, I am going to try to get started on my homework, maybe if I have it spread out all over the dining room table she will get the hint... doubtful, but it's worth a shot.
Here I go... wish me luck.

Arguing with myself

I feel stupid

You're not stupid

I was completely lost today

It's the first day, what do you expect?

I wasn't familiar with any of the accounting terms she was babbling

That's why you're taking the class- to GET familiar with the terms

Ok, there, I think I feel a little better now. I am/was starting to feel a bit ( a lot) overwhelmed by it all... Shit, and I only had two classes today, the Business Math/Calculators and Financial Accounting I. I can't wait to see how much I panic after I get into Payroll, Business Law and Intro to Computer Tech... Computers, now THAT'S where the insecurities really lie...

There's a whole lot of terms I don't understand, and the only thing I really know so far is that I like Carol, my acct teacher and advisor. I don't think I will strangle her, I think I will like her and learn a lot from her.

I have homework to do, some reading and some problems, so I really should be starting on them. I better get used to having homework every day and DOING it every day. I will not get behind, and then try to play catch up, it sucks.

Mom and I are having a "get re-acquainted" night tonight, we haven't seen much of each other the last week or so, with me getting ready for school, and her working a long 10 day stretch after Michigan, and spending the weekend non-working hours with Dave, we haven't seen much of each other lately. I miss her! So I will get my homework done now, before she gets home from work, so we have the evening to just hang out.

I don't see JP online much, that sucks, so I hope that by keeping this up to date, he can at least know what's going on here. Maybe if he emailed me a little blurb every day, I would know how he's doing, as of right now, I have no idea. I think I talked to him last over the weekend... Too long ago, that's for sure!

New Student Day

I lived through it... New student day was full of (actually--NOT boring) speakers and information overload. I got to meet my Accounting teacher, the main one, she is also my faculty advisor... Her name is Carol, and I can sum her up with this: Tinkerbell on Prozac. She IS the happiest place on earth. I am either going to be a more cheerful person myself for having known her, or I'm going to strangle her- haven't decided yet.

Emma is trying my patience, my god, I don't know how much more grounded she can be. I have taken all privileges away, and she continues to break the rules and try me. She has nothing left. She cannot leave the house, she cannot see her friends, she cannot use the phone. But every time I turn my back, she's outside playing with the neighborhood kids, or riding her bike "around the block"... In reality, she rides over to her friend Michaela's house. Does she really think I'm that stupid? UGH it's really going to get ugly when she becomes a teenager, I just know it.

I have to get into the habit of going to bed earlier, I was so tired today in school. But I was up until after midnight. Tonight, I am settling in at 10. I have class at 8 tomorrow morning. Plus I took the dogs for walks tonight, and I took them separately, so I actually did the loop twice, so I'm physically tired and mentally tired, I should be able to fall asleep pretty easily, considering what tomorrow is.

FIRST DAY OF COLLEGE!!

Ok, I know I had that summer class, but that is different, it's more laid back in the summer, and it was only one class. This is full time, 18 credits; this is the real thing!! Ok, I better get to bed before I start freaking myself out and can't sleep!!

Window shopping etc

I have come to the conclusion that I cannot window shop. I am not capable of going into a store to 'price' things. I can shop around, get a good deal, but I cannot NOT buy it right then and there once I have found said good deal.
Case in point: Went "window shopping" for furniture the other day. I'd like to get a nice dining room set, instead of the mix & match crap I've got going on now. Plus it would be nice to have seating for more than just our 5. I was also looking into something for the family room. The loveseat and 2 chairs just isn't cutting it, not enough seating.
I took my friend Char with me, and for the first 3 furniture stores, I was doing really well, getting quotes, not quite finding what was perfect, NOT buying anything. Then we went to the furniture store that Char's boyfriend Jerry works at. I talked to Gary, the guy who's name is on the building, and he was really helpful, and it was even more helpful that he and Char joked and bullshitted like old friends.
I ended up making a fantasy shopping list, he wrote down everything that I saw that would work great. I asked him to total it up for me, so I could gasp and leave, thanking him for his time.
What was on the list? Well, let me tell you!!

1 sofa, mocha color, microfiber suede soft, recliners on each end
1 loveseat, mocha, microfiber, recliner on one end
1 big ass just for JP recliner, stone color ( off white)
2 end tables, wood with slate slab blocks in the center
1 coffee table, wood, state slabs
1 dining room table, with 2 leaves, big enough for 8 to sit comfy
2 captains chairs, for each end of table
4 side chairs

I could not gasp and leave. It was just too good to be true: I got all this, delivered for a mere $3400. I was flipping out. I made the deal though, I don't want the furniture delivered until it's paid for. That way, it stays nice longer... Less exposure to the kids before JP gets to see it. I made a downpayment, and figured a plan to have it paid in full in about 2 months.
I have never had New New furniture, except my bed, which I ordered online and had to assemble myself. I got 2 full rooms FULL of furniture!! I'm pretty excited. I am also pleased with the price. The one place we went to before we went to Gary's wanted $2700 for JUST a sectional sofa.

I feel kind of bad though, because earlier in the same day I had told JP that he could have $500 for an investment that he wanted to do, and now he can't have it just yet. I will be able to give him the money he wanted, but not right away. But I think once he sinks his bum into that recliner that is JUST FOR HIM, he will forgive me. I'm thinking of asking the moving guys if they can wrap the recliner in plastic, and leave it on there. That way, the kids (and I) cannot ruin JP's maiden voyage into plush ecstasy. Wrap it in plastic and get some yellow Police Line, Do Not Cross tape to put around it.

A few days before the new stuff is delivered, I will get the old stuff out, and do a major cleaning. I'm thinking of getting the downstairs carpet professionally cleaned, it's certainly seen better days, and I hate the thought of putting that nice new furniture on top of such fugly ratty carpet. So I will get it cleaned, may not take out all the child induced stains, but hopefully it will bring it back a little bit.

Another mission accomplished. Unintentional, of course, but hey, at least it's done.

The Trip, in parts

Part One: The Drive Out (or off, you could say)
We left around 3, JP's parents arrived at 1pm, so we got a nice visit with them, and I made sure they knew the kids' rules. I even wrote them down so the kids wouldn't try to buffalo them. I wanted to have a full tank of gas, so we could figure out our mileage, so we stopped at Holiday before we left town. Now, I'm going to go into great detail here because it will matter later. As we pulled up to the pump, I asked mom to fish out one of the "BOGO" pop bottle caps, so I could get us each a cold one for the road after I finished pumping gas. I got out, topped off the tank, it was only $19 and change. When I opened the driver's door, to grab my billfold and the cap from mom, she wasn't there. I popped my head up to see her coming out of the store, 2 bottles of pop in her hands. She's so sneaky, she went in and paid for the gas, I thought... I THOUGHT. I thanked her and we got in, buckled up and were on our way.
We were somewhere between Detroit Lakes and St. Cloud, cruising along nicely on Hwy 10, I was in the left lane, passing some schmuck, when suddenly I see a cop coming up quickly on my backside. I hurry to finish passing, and tuck back in, to have this trooper wizz past me, lights and sirens full blast. (Wow, glad he's not looking for us! We said) Another mile or so down the road, and we saw what he was in such a hurry to get to. We were on Hwy 10 east, and over in the westbound lanes, there was a white truck, driver sitting in it, pulled over on the shoulder. A cop car behind him, one cocked sideways in the left lane, pointed at the truck, and another cop car had been down in the ditch and come up the embankment, nose pointed at the truck. There were a total of 5 cop cars and every officer was in the driver's door of their vehicle using the door as a shield, and had their guns drawn on the driver of the white truck!! OH, WOW, what excitement!! We talked for miles, wondering what he had done.
We stopped around midnight somewhere in Illinois for "breakfast" at a truckstop. After a yummy filling meal, the waitress brings the check, and mom and I both grabbed for it.
Me: I'll get it
Her: No, I'll get it, you've paid for all the gas
Me: No, you paid for the first one
Her: what? No I didn't
Me: In D.L., when you got the pop?
Her: No, Nik, I just got the pop, I thought you used your card at the pump
Me: Haha, very funny
It went on a few more times of kidding/not kidding, and when she didn't start laughing, it really sank in...Oh My Gawd, we drove off without paying for our gas. But it was midnight, we were 2 states away, what could we do? I decided to call Ray at home the next day and beg him to run down and take care of it. Of course, the second we hit Wisconsin, it became a felony, a federal case.... We had a good but nervous laugh about that, I'll tell ya.
Part Two: The Relaxation
Something about being out there is so calming and relaxing. Like time ticks at a slower pace out there. Sit for hours and chat and shoot the bull, and wow, a full day is gone... And that's just fine. I had brought my laptop, but didn't even touch it. Mom and i also brought our knitting, never touched it, except to pull it out to show it to Grandma. She's got a dog now, and a cat, too. The dog's name is Shelby, and she is smart as a whip and sweet as pie. George, the cat is fat and bizarre. He pulls kibbles of food out of his dish one at a time with his paw. Drags it out, lets it fall on the floor, then bends down and gobbles it up. But he is friendly, and loves attention.
We did steaks on the grill, with asparagus and sauteed mushrooms, salad and breadsticks. Grandma's son Red, and his wife Jackie came over for supper, and we sat and shot the bull some more. Of course mom had to let everyone know that I was probably going to jail when we got back home. She refused to see her involvement in the drive off. She wanted to play the part of the innocent bystander, but we all know that she is a seasoned veteran of thievery and was a willing accomplice in the great theft of $19 worth of gas. After all, she has been known to steal shrubbery, and monkeys... Using my toddler son as an accomplice on that one. Innocent bystander my ass...
Part Three: The Drive Home
We headed out Sunday morning. Mom had to work today (Monday) at 9, so we figured with a 14 hour drive, we should get going in the morning so she can get some sleep. Everything was going pretty good, we were making good time, paying for our gas each time, only stopping for gas and bathroom breaks. We were in Wisconsin somewhere, driving along I-94, heading West. Suddenly we could see everyone ahead of us hitting their brakes, and everyone was getting into the left lane. We followed suit, not even knowing why yet. We came around a curve, and all we could see was smoke ahead. Something was burning near or on the road up ahead. Traffic was down to about 30 mph, perfect rubber necking speed, and as we went past, we could see that it was a truck, a little blue Dodge Dakota. It was pretty much engulfed in flames. The owners had been able to drag the sofa and loveseat off the back end before the fire really got out of hand. There wasn't much the police could do, except watch it burn and keep traffic away and moving. We just marveled at all the cool things we had been privy to on this journey, such interesting 'never before seen' in real life stuff.

It was a good trip, we got to see Lake Michigan Friday morning, just before light, and my camera got 2 pictures then flashed the "change batteries" light, then died... What a pisser. We also got a short visit from Fuzzy (real name unknown), Grandma's youngest son. He is a super nice guy, but he is dying of cancer, and mom suspects that will be the last time she will see him. It's really sad, he's just a sweetheart.

Now that that's over with, my next milestone, next mark of time passage is next week, I start classes. After that, one week later, the kids start theirs. Then it's my birthday, then Emma's. Then Alex's and then Halloween, Thanksgiving and then we can start getting giddy about the love of my life returning to me, if even for a short time.

BTW, Holiday Gas Station has been paid, they did not call the cops, they had no information to give anyway, they did not know it was me, and they were very grateful to be paid. No harm, no foul, no police barricades, no road blocks.

Leaving tomorrow

I'm trying to stay up late tonight, so that I will sleep in tomorrow, so I can be up all night Thursday, driving. It's not working too good so far, I'm getting very sleepy. I decided to put something in here, since it's harder to fall asleep while typing than just sitting here reading news stories online.

The kids and I went to Fargo today to exchange school clothes that didn't fit. Emma got 9 pairs of pants, and we had to exchange 7 of them. The ones that fit her around the waist made her look like she was ready for a flood, and the ones that were long enough to cover her ankles were also pooling around her ankles because she is so tiny in the waist and so tall. I think we found the solution though, she can wear a size 8 slim... right now anyway. I'm sure that will change soon, they're all going through such growth spurts.

Mom and I did some prep work for the trip tonight, too. We have to be careful because if Zoey gets wind of this, there will be no living with her. She will want to go, if she knows we are going. She is not on the guest list however. We don't even speak the words 'pack' or 'luggage'. Mom is going to take the girls for a walk tomorrow and while she is gone, I'm going to dig out her suitcase and pack it for her, and get it into the KIA before they get back. Her girls don't freak out if they see her going out of the house without carrying anything, I'm sure their logic (much like humans) is that if she doesn't have anything with her, she won't be gone long. How sad is this, that we have to pussyfoot around and be sneaky to go on a little trip?? But we all love Zoey and don't want to hurt her feelings, so it is a sacrifice I'm willing to make.

Ray and Pierrette will be here around noon tomorrow, and we are planning on heading out around 3. That should get us to Minneapolis at 7, so we should be able to avoid the majority of the rush hour traffic. Then we head South and East, for roughly another 10 hours (after the 4 to Mpls) and should arrive in Grand Rapids Friday morning. I know mom isn't really looking forward to this trip, I know she's really just doing it for Grandma, because she wants us to come out there. I don't think mom feels right being there anymore. I don't get that. She calls Helen 'Mom', and we both love her, even without her Dad there, we are still going out to visit family. I know it will be hard though, because those trips out to see Grandpa were always something to look forward to. She mentioned tonight wanting to go out to the cemetery while we are out there. I think that will be good for her, and I will do the driving and then keep my distance. She will probably appreciate some alone time there.

I am taking my laptop out there, we aren't sure if Grandma has internet at her house, but I'm sure I can find an internet cafe in Grand Rapids, if need be. I just shudder to think of being without the 'net for too long.

There's another good breeze coming in the West window, hasn't been too bad the last week or so. I wish some of our nice weather could make it's way over to you honey, I know it's been pretty miserable there. I think it will just make you appreciate Minnesota weather more when you get back.

I started the savings account plan with this paycheck. Now that our mortgage refi has gone through, things should be nicer, and should be able to sock away that much each paycheck. Did you also notice that I gave you some money?
I will also be sending out a package to you tomorrow, after I repackage it, of course. It was sitting on the front step when we returned from Fargo today. I wonder how long it sat out there in the open like that. It wasn't in a brown box, either, it was a color photo of the DVR right on the box, advertising "this is what's in here, come steal me". Idiots at the Post Office wonder why they're losing business to UPS and DHL and the like. Those other couriers have a "where to leave package" option to give instructions (like at the BACK door, NOT visible to everyone who goes by). So you should have that by next weekend, figuring a week to 10 days.

Ok, I'm going to let the girls out to pee, then read for awhile to try to stay up later. I love you honey, and I miss talking to you, your internet is really starting to piss me off. Is there any other options available? Whatever the cost, I don't care, I just want to talk to you.

Mr Sandman's first name is Eric; and a yard of sand is a lot more than you think!

Today was sand day. Eric and I went out and picked up sand for his sandbox. I had Emma at home mowing the lawn to get ready.
I called ahead, to make sure they could sell me "sandbox sand", and yes, they only sell it by the yard, though. That's ok, I thought, even though I have no idea how much a yard of sand is.

How much could it really be, honestly?

A lot, that's how much.

It didn't cost a lot though. It was only $7 per yard. Eric and I got there and followed the guy in the bobcat over to the sandbox sand pile. He said he didn't think we could get an entire yard in the bed of the truck, so he'd just go one bucket load at a time, and I could call him off whenever I felt we had enough. "How many bucket loads make up a yard?" I asked. Wow... 3 as it turns out.

The first load seemed a little... little, so I gave him the go-ahead for one more. Now THAT'S more like it, I thought. Ever see a kid at the dinner table asking for a heaping plate of food that they love? You know they can't eat it all, but they just love it so much, and in the end they find out that much as they love it, they just cannot cram any more into their little bodies. Yeah, that was me at the sandbox sand pile today. I wanted to make sure we had enough, and no matter how much we got, it was going to be $7, that's the minimum.

Eric was reasonably impressed with this guy's bobcat driving skills, and he thought maybe we needed that last bucket load. I came to my senses and called him off just in time.

The trouble with being loaded down with a bobcat is that somehow, that sand has to then come out of the truck bed. By hand, one shovel full at a time. It was a lot.

So Eric got his sandbox filled with about 1/4 of the sand from the truck. I could have easily gotten away with just one bobcat bucket load. But no, I had to hold my plate up and ask for more... Insisting that I could eat it all.

The punishment definitely fit the crime here. I was the one to shovel all the sand out of the bed of the truck one shovel full at a time. It took almost 3 hours with one smoke break in there. But where, you may ask, did the other 3/4 of the sand go? Well, let's just say that Eric isn't the only one who got a sandbox, although his is the only one that's in a box. I put the rest of it out by the lilac bushes in a pile for the other kids.

Eric is very pleased, as am I. Now he not only looks like his Daddy, but he gets to play in the sand like him, too.

The cleaning bug bit my ass

The kids and I spent the morning cleaning out the KIA, since we are taking that to Michigan (leaving on Thursday, home Sunday/Monday) and those little buggers are the ones who messed it up. (shameless plug here) I LOVE THOSE WIPES... They're in a purple canister thing, and you pull the wipes out like wet wipes... They clean EVERYTHING, even on upholstery!! The two front seat floormats ended up hitting the showers, they were pretty bad.

While I was in the shower scrubbing and oxycleaning the floormats I realized that it was pretty gross in there... So I hung up the floormats to drip while I scrubbed the shower. When I got out of there, I realized that by doing that I was just putting a neon sign over the toilet screaming "I'm dirty!!"... Of course I had to scrub that, too. That, of course shed a rather dingy light on the counter top and mirror... It was a vicious cycle, I ended up scrubbing the floor and emptying all the cabinets and cupboards and tossing stuff that I don't need (why was it in there anyway!?)

Then I saw the toothbrush holder... What a can of worms THAT opened up!! It's one of those cup types, with holes in the lid for the toothbrushes to fit into. Problem with them is that the tips of the handles end up getting yucky... Dust mixed with the water that drips down from the head of the brush after each use, it's damn near mud.

So I threw away all the toothbrushes and the holder. Grabbed Alex and we went out to Walmart. I had exactly 3 things on my list.
1. Toothbrushes (3, one for each kid, I don't keep mine in there, so mine is good)
2. Toothbrush holder
3. Shower scrubby-puffs (one for each kid so they will STOP using mine!!)

I came back with a toothbrush holder, coordinating shower curtain and shower mat, floor rug and toilet-front rug, and one each of : bath towel, hand towel and wash cloth (for decorative use only, DO NOT TOUCH!!) plus the toothbrushes and scrubby-puffs, thank god, otherwise I'd be really mad.

At one point Alex actually said "Lets get out of this aisle, before we spend any more" OMG!! It was his fault we spent that much anyway!! He's the one who liked the froggy on the lilipad holder (dangling the toothbrushes, not enclosing them) and then suggested that it would look bizarre to have JUST that with frogs on it in there... Ok, ok, I caved, and it was kinda fun, we "redid" the bathroom on the cheap, and it is so nice and clean in there now, and very cute.

Then I learned how to make a meal that my mom makes that the kids LOVE, because they wanted it Friday night, but she was out (ON A DATE) and I didn't know how... So she talked me through it, and I think I'm good to go there.

wow, busy day for "the day of rest"...But now it's 7 p.m. and I could go to bed.
It's a cool night, nice breeze coming in the West bedroom window... wish you were here to cuddle up with as it gets chilly in here.
I.O.U. cuddles **nudge nudge, wink wink**

Laptop Snob

That's me, that's what I've become.

I had to take my laptop in to the school today, so they could monkey with it, get it compatible with their wireless system, make sure I have the proper amount of firewall and virus protective crap... geek speak that I don't understand.

I was without my laptop from 8 a.m. to roughly 5 p.m., it was horrible. I could have just gone downstairs and used the desktop computer, but UUGGHH, no thank you, it's a monster sized dinosaur, and it's too slow, and that mouse, ick, don't even get me started on that!!

I remember when JP first got his laptop, sitting on the couch playing with it. I remember thinking "my god, it's not that great, it's still just a computer, ya goofus"... I have since seen the error of my ways. Oh precious and wonderful laptop, I will never stray, I will never use anything else ever again.
When I first got this laptop at the beginning of the summer, I found myself annoyed with the touch pad thingy (geek speak word escapes me right now) in place of the mouse, now, I cannot bring myself to use a mouse without thinking I could do this so much faster with just my fingertips!!
So I owe JP an apology for every eye roll, every sigh of "silly boy" brought on every time I watched him on his laptop. I now realize that it was probably a little more jealousy than exasperation on my part.
Apparently absence really does make the heart grow fonder.... Being without if for just one day was horrible.
In comparison to being with out JP for 547 days, it was easy, yes, but I never spent hours on end tapping on JP with my fingertips either.
Oh, that I could do that now!!
*sigh*

"Knocked it outta the ballpark"

That's what my advisor said when he saw my score. Yeah, I guess I did. I got 92%
; )

How much gas is left in the tank?

I am taking the dreaded math portion of the Accuplacer test tomorrow morning. I should get to bed early because Mom tells me that if I go over it right before I go to sleep, it will be retained easier. I'm not that optomistic, I'm guessing I will have Math Nightmares (Again!? Gawd, I thought I was done with that when I left the 9th grade!!). Fitful bouts of tossing and turning and mumblings of "how far can I go with the gas I have? How much gas DO I have?" and "flip the numerator and denominator THEN multiply" will be my 'dog ate my homework excuse' for failing the test yet again... yeah, let's get this girl on the fast track to being MY accountant...NOT!!

I will post the results as soon as I can... unless I fail, in which case, it will never be mentioned again...by anyone.

230 days remaining, and it's August already!!

Well, after my last post, and being pretty bummed out lately, my friend Gina decided I needed to get out and have some fun. She got us tickets to WE Fest for Friday and Saturday nights. I'm not a huge country music fan, but I am a fan of getting out and getting away, so off we went.
Friday night there wasn't really any particular music act I was looking forward to seeing, Brooks & Dunn were the closing act, and I actually started crying during a few of their songs, one is a goofy song that JP changes the words to, and he and I saw B&D play it a few years ago out there. The other one that got me tearing up was something about "you better kiss me, 'cause you're gonna miss me when I'm gone"...
Saturday night was better though, more upbeat and no tears. I saw Keith Urban, (OOO, yummy) I didn't really know too many of his songs, but he put on a good show. After the intermission, the final act of the night, and of WE Fest was Kenny Chesney. He is so nice, as a singer, and as a piece of ass to look at. (wow, horny little wench, aren't I? I really miss you JP!!) I know quite a few of Kenny's songs, and Gina and her boyfriend Kent were even up on the Jumbotron screen during a love song!! The camera guys were panning the audience looking for sweethearts, and they were standing up dancing together, and it was so sweet (and Gina's face turned sooo red!!) Then as a special guest, Uncle Kracker came out and sang a few songs with Kenny, and all I could think of was 'JP should be here, he'd love this!!'. It was really good to get out and loosen up and have some fun. We were with Gina's parents, too, and they are just great, such nice people. Kent and I spent both nights at Gina's parents' place, driving is just not an option, and they live within walking distance, so I got the couch, and Kent was on the living room floor. Both nights when we got back to the house after the concert, they fed us (we had been drinking, all of us) because they didn't think we should go to sleep with empty stomachs. In the mornings, food again, it was so nice of them.

I spent last week dispersing money. We got the cash out amount from the refinancing on Wednesday, so I've been sending money to anyone and everyone we owe. I also took Mom and all 3 kids to Fargo on Thursday and started school clothes shopping. Oh, and I finished it too!! All in one day, everything from socks to notebooks, boxers to binders!! Done! I don't think I've ever had that job done this early before. I'm usually really pushing it, like... Labor Day Weekend!! I feel really good about this year. I should really get Alex a few more pairs of pants, but I do want to make one more trip to Fargo before Mom and I head to Michigan, so I will probably take him along then.

So yeah, like the title of this entry says, only 230 days until you are home for good baby!! That's a mere 32 weeks. I advanced my fridge magnet calendar today, I've already got September on it!! It is a 4 week calendar, and each week is it's own separate strip, so as one week ends, I can just wipe it off and write in another and add it to the bottom, move the other 3 up, and that way I've always got a 4-weeks-out look at what's coming. I've been keeping the days and weeks until you return on there since March. I remember how happy I was to finally get out of the 300's... Next week this time, I will be writing numbers in the 100's. (Yeah, I know, it's still 4 and 5 weeks out, but as long as I'm writing it, IT'S REAL!!)

I mailed out 3 boxes to you today. Mostly food, but also some bathroom stuff. Oh, and air freshener, because I also sent some Hormel Chili... gotta plan ahead for these things!! And look through everything I sent, even things that are camouflage, things that you THINK you know what's inside... You may be surprised, happily, I hope.

I can't wait for Tuesday night (your Wednesday day off!!) I have really missed you, and I can't wait to see you. I will be napping most of the day so I can stay up late to spend time with you.

But I have to go to bed now, I had a long day. The new weed wacker works great, as does the Tony Little Gazelle Edge fitness machine. Both made me sweaty, but not in the way I'd like to be. I miss you honey, see you Tuesday night!!